How do you deal with an online stalker?

Question

I play an online multiplayer game, so it's only place where he can actually contact me...but every day I feel like he's obsessed with me. He gets mad when I don't give him my undivided attention, and it REALLY gets bad when I mention anything about a specific friend of mine. And he refuses to tell me why he has a problem with me being friends with this person. (The majority of people in the game are teens and people in their 20s, and I'm a lot older so it's not like I'm dating any of these people, just fyi.) If any of you play mmo's you know you can buy extra things with real money. He buys me stuff and not once have I ever asked him to. I have my own money, after all. He's told me all sorts of strange things about himself that I never asked about, and...yesterday he said he wants to meet me in person. I do have someone I wouldn't mind meeting, but it is most certainly NOT him. This other person doesn't give me the creeps. So...do you think I'm right to be concerned about this, or am I making too much out of it? I do have a tendency to over analyze things sometimes. Should I give him back his stuff and tell him I'll get him banned if I have to? I'd quit entirely, but I have a lot of other people I talk to besides this guy. Any advice is much appreciated. I'm really on my last nerve here. Oh and this is the short version by the way. Also, a few months back he stopped logging on to the game for about a month. Before then we hardly ever talked, but once he came back...he started doing and saying stuff that HE thought would...make me jealous or something. All I've ever done is try to give him advice about his problems, and be nice in general.

Answer 1

YES, you definitely should be concerned with this. He's harassing you. However, you can only report this on the game and to higher authorities in real life to do with the law if you asked him to go away and he didn't leave you alone, particularly if you've asked him numerous times and he still isn't leaving you.

This is really quite complicated, because if you want him to leave you alone completely, then that's one thing, but if you don't mind seeing him, however, dislike his behavior, then that's another thing. Accepting the gifts was a bad idea. Immediately return them. My advice is...

1. If you have asked him to leave you alone at least once... then ask him again, and tell him that if he doesn't go away, you'll report him. If he still doesn't leave you alone, then report him to moderators (or whoever is in charge) on this game.

2. If you have asked him to stop his behavior, and he still hasn't, then threaten to report him, once again, and do so if he doesn't cut it out. If he continues, then go to Point 1.

3. If you haven't asked him to leave you alone, then after returning the gifts, ask, and make it clear that if this kind of behavior doesn't stop, you'll report him. (If he doesn't stop, then report him).

4. If you haven't asked him to leave you alone, and want to see the back of him, then ask and threaten with reporting him. If he still doesn't leave you alone, then report him.

If he is STILL harassing you, you can report him to the law, sue him, etc.

Answer 2

You  need to ignore this man. Give him back his stuff...you accepting in the first place just encourages him and gives him hope!  You should have told him NO thanks in the first place...but you didn't so now you have to learn to deal with this.

I would ignore him....the first time he talks to me I would say...I am uncomfortable talking to you anymore...so please don't talk to me...I won't answer you !

Then stick to it.  REFUSE any messages...don't read them..and if you can block him from messaging you.

You need to send a strong message I am done with you.

If you get him banned can he rejoin under another  name?  I think he would find a way...so learn to ignore him.

Answer 3

Yes, it's definitely a concern, because on the other side of your computer is a real person. Obsessions can grow quickly.

You mentioned that you'd rather not stop visiting the site completely. So the only other thing you can do is COMPLETELY ignore the guy. Totally. Don't be nice. Don't chat. Don't accept gifts. Cut him off completely (and if there is an "ignore" feature on the game, use that). If he threatens you, then yes, report him - and you don't owe him the courtesy of warning him before hand.

Be safe!

Answer 4

Theres plan A. and plan B.

Plan A:

Act like he's just a stranger, you dont even know him.

If he tries to talk about anything personal, just reject it, like...act like you really dont care about him. Dont keep any conversation going.

Ex. Him: I had a bad day.          You: Thats too bad

Ex. Him: How was your day?    You: Ok.

If he tries to start up a fight about you being "blunt" then just log out or cut him off.

Ex. Him: Why are you being so emotionless?    (Log out as if you didnt even notice the comment)

Never engage in conversation or in an arguement, ever, that just tells him that he's got your attention.

Also, dont ever accept anything from him

Ex. Him: Here's a present         You: No thanks.

Ex. Him: No, take it                    You: I dont want it.

Before he responds once more, just cut him off saying "AFK" or "BRB" etc...

Dont even return, just end up logging out.

Plan B:

Block him off completely.

Ignore/block him if the game allows you to.

If he continues to talk to you on a different user/screen name, then block him off once more and report him to a game developer/Moderator/Admin

Change your user/screen name and have your stuff transfered by a different friend, dont tell him, or give him any warning about it

Or

Stop playing the game completely.

I highly suggest that you immediately tell a game developer/moderator/admin about it, he sounds dangerous.

Answer 5

Block him

Report him and his activity to the game developers - most sites seem to have an area where you can report unwanted behaviors.

Create a new account so he can't connect with you - and do not contact him with the new account.

Or just stop using the site.

Answer 6

Isn't there anyway of blocking him?

Answer 7

He's a stalker,get him banned and get him outta your life.

Answer 8

I have a feeling that deep down you are enjoying the attention from this situation.

Stay away, change your id there, block him. All of this you already know so its up to you to do what you want about it.

Answer 9

Stalkers get a major thrill from making you angry and then convincing you that it was your fault (control). It is a cycle that repeats over and over again. Each time the threats and guilt trips get worse (A bigger thrill for the stalker).

So the simplest way to stop a stalker (in the early stages) is DON'T REACT. Make them get bored.

For instance, some victims of online stalkers change their screen names. This makes the stalker angry, but they get a thrill out of trying to find your new screen name (Playing detective). To them it is like a game. If they force you to change screen names that means they are in control. If you send them nasty emails or threats, you are reacting and they are in control.

If they know that you are deleting the emails, they may try a second screen name. So what you need to do is open the emails they send (don't download the file), but don't send a response (don't even read it). But when they check, they will see you opened it, and so they won't bother trying to change names.. They may try to get outlandish for a few days, but eventually if they cannot force a reaction they will get bored.  

Good luck!

Answer 10

Yeah he's pretty weird. Get him banned.