How do you deal with an overbearing, aggressive, unstable, crazy mother?

Question

As long as I can remember my mom has been control of my life...determining who I date, where I went to college, and trying to raise my two sons for me (even though I didn't ask her to) for example. I just got out of an abusive marriage. My husband and I are separated and only talk when necessary. So how do I get her under control...especially now that I am trying to rebuild my life.

Answer 1

Don't ask for her help.   Tell her NOTHING about your ex, and the abuse.

I asked my parents for help, when I was 22.  They told me I got myself into the relationship and refused to help.  Never asked again, and I owe them nothing.  

Answer 2

You can't change people, as you well know.

It got to the point where I told my mother I would not talk to her as long as she treated me as she did.  She hasn't spoken to me in over 3 years, and I've bee a far happier and more relaxed person.  Sure, it sucks not having a mom in my life or having the extra financial support when I get in a bind, but freedom has its price.  And in my case, it was worth it.

Answer 3

Tell her. Put your foot down and just tell her.  You should probably get some counseling though. I can only assume that you got involved with a controlling man because you were raised by a controlling mom.  You are a better person than that. Get yourself back up and stick up for yourself. You and your kids deserve it!!