How do you deal with anxiety when you cant have an child and waiting for adoption?

Question

My husband and I are unable to have children of our own. I have been working with kids since I saw a teenager. I have always been draun to children even now. My husband and I work with trouble teens and I love my job. What can I do to deal with the anxiety while waiting to adopt a child.

Answer 1

A lot of parents-to-be via adoption join on-line forums where they are able to share their ups and downs and prepare for being adoptive parents.  The forums have sections for domestic, international, and foster adoption.  Adoptees and first parents also participate on the forums so you can hear their point of view as well.

The only down side is that some of the forums are heavily moderated and people who are too out-spoken about their negative experiences are censored and "banned".

I think one of the better ones is Adoption Threads:

http://adoptionthreads.com/forum/index.p...

Good luck!

Answer 2

You've got many good answers here and each one has great advice so far, but also remember, you need to stress a little less to keep yourself healthier and ready for a child.  Trust me, you'll be up enough nights when the baby gets here!  It took me 8 times of trying to adopt, and just when I had given up, it happened, and when it happened, it was so easy and smooth.  I now have a beautiful 7 month old, and hopefully, soon you will too.  Relax so you don't make yourself sick because if your blood pressure gets up or you get ulcers, you could be denied a child.

Answer 3

You have to not focus on it. Hard but true.  Have you done your homestudy?  What we did was do all our paperwork, finish our training, do all our visits, work hard, then we took some time just the two of us, because we may not get that time again soon!  We were presented with 3 children, and now they are our life.  We are finishing our visits with them and they move in April 21!

So the wait was hard, but I have always believed "right child right time".

Good luck!

Answer 4

Have you completed all of the paperwork and the home study?  Have you selected an attorney/agency?  

If not, you should start putting together your profile.

Answer 5

PRAYERS is the best solution for your problem....

Only GOD can give you and your husband wants....

TRUST GOD alone and HE will help you in conceiving a child (someday)....

try to medidate and pray....GOD knows your heart desires....(it's a trial from GOD)....humble yourself and ask GOD to give you a child....

believe me, if you pray by your heart, GOD will grant your wish...

Answer 6

It sounds like you are wonderful people. Just try to relax, and think positive. Go to a counselor to sort these feelings out. It would be healthy for you to have someone to talk to while you go through this process.

Answer 7

Janine,

That's a tough one.  Try reading up about parenting and adoption.  I don't know if reading about future child will calm you or make the anxiety worse. If it makes it worse, then take up scrapbooking or some other hobby.  Not the best advice but nothing really helps. Just keeping yourself busy:)

I would prepare yourself for tons of unwanted parenting advice.  So reading ahead would help. I remember relatives on my dad's side telling me to add some peppermint schnapps to the baby's bottle.  My husband and myself looked at each other like they are sooooo not being left alone with these kids.  Wonder why alcoholism runs in our family??

Best of luck to you:)

Answer 8

I understand completely!  The waiting part is about the worst!  The big thing to do is to keep yourself busy so that the waiting anxiety doesn't dominate everything in your life.  Get a hobby, take a class, do something completely unrelated to adoption.  

Go on dates with your husband.  Go on a vacation or stay out late.  Lots of this "couple time" goes away once children arrive, so enjoy it while it lasts.

Finally, do research on parenting adopted kids, read books from different perspectives (including the perspective of adoptees) take classes, attend seminars and workshops.  Educate yourself!

Good luck!