How do you deal with difficult family members while working with them in a family business???

Question

I work in a restaurant owned by my aunt and uncle with mother. This is the first job she has ever had so needless to say she has been very sheltered and really has no idea what the real world is like. The only social settings she's involved in is church. She is a wonderful person BUT also the most critical of everyone, everything, and everything everyone does. She is a perfectionist in her work but doesen't understand the pressure of everyone's job in a busy restaurant atmosphere. She takes everything personal which makes it even harder to talk to her. My cousin and her husband run the resaurant and I am the assistant manager. I'm caught in the middle and they are driving me insane! Please HELP.

Answer 1

Don't micro manage.  Get a list of job requirements.  Explain what has to be done.  Go over this with her when she it is slow so there is no pressure.  Get your Aunt and Uncle involved.  She may have difficulty  listening to the younger generation. If people in her generation are involved it may help smooth things over.  

You didn't say what your mothers job is.  Is she a server or does she work in the kitchen?  If she is in the kitchen can you put her in her own corner with her work and let her do it away from everyone else?

Also - do what ever you can to relax your self.  Pray, meditate, take a walk - what ever it is you need to do.  Do this a few times a week.  If you are tense, you are going to address everyone around you as tense.  If you are relaxed, you will have a calming effect on everyone else.

Answer 2

MIstake.. NEVER work for your family.  This is a cocktail for suicide.

Garanteed that is someone else was in your position like an outside hired person.. they would not have the same expectations... sorry this is just the way it is when you work for family.. get a different job.

Answer 3

You will need to talk to your mother.  If you don't, it will all come to a head and everyone will be hurt in the long run.  There is a good way and bad way of talking to her about it.  Let her know you see that she wants to do her job to the best of her abilities but when she criticizes everyone else , it brings on hard feelings towards her and it make work difficult for you.  Tell her unless it's bad for business, she needs to keep her critiques to herself.  Hopefully she will learn to control herself.

Answer 4

You have to be tactful but business is business and family is family, both roles serve different functions and for them to work properly they should not cross over into each other. If you expect to one day become the manager then i suggest you act like an assistant manager and not an assistant family helper.