How do you deal with dress wars with a two year old?

Question

Every morning my two year old son and I go through the same routine he eats his breakfast, has his diaper change, and has his clothes put onto him. But it still becomes a battle every time, with him constantly trying to escape then getting mad and yelling at me when I manage to catch him to put his clothes on him. It is so frustrating and ends in a shouting match between the two of us and time out in the end for him. At what age do children actually begin to want to dress themselves because for me this age couldn't come to soon. Also, what is the best way to handle his little tantrums when I try to clothe and diaper him? He has always hated diaper changes and for a while didn't mind me doing them he would lay down in the floor and gladly allow me to change him but lately has even turned against them again. Should I during the diaper/clothing change if he acts up time him out with clothes/diaper off at all or should i dress him then address the issue and do a time out?

Answer 1

put out 3 outfits and let him pick one

Answer 2

get d**n tricky clothing! unless u are potty training.  my 21 month old is a stripper at heart.  

lol, just the other day in walmart she steps away from me and walked around the edge of a clothing rack, sat down and started to peal everything off with what looked like super human speed.  

I switched her over to overalls, found a ton of cute lil belts to add to her pants.  Anything that will stump her.  

I have five kids, she's number 4.  with the older ones, when they hit this stage i did the same.  ended up at one point putting some of their overalls on backwards just so the lil monsters couldnt get to the straps.  same with their belts.  hard to strip when you cant see or reach anything.  Tie shoes over Velcro.

as for the diaper changes, I enlisted my oldest son.  he pulls out his Nintendo ds or psp and lets her see it for a moment.  any other "special" toy will be useful.  but this has to be a diapering time only toy.  

allowing him to get away with it and then addressin it later will only give him the thumbs up to continue.  Yeah its a pain, but it needs to be nipped in the bud right quick.  good luck!

Answer 3

Hi

I am a social worker and have worked w/ kids for 15 years..plus have 3 of my own.

First have you ruled out that he doesn't have any sensory issues?

Second, it might be wise to change the routine a little...the night before privately pick two outfits out for him to wear the next day.

In the morning, put the clothes in a spot other than where you have been changing him...allow him to pick from the group of clothes YOU have choosen. Then ask him if he would like to put them on himself....(praise him for doing it -even if they are on wrong) Then ignore him for the rest of the day.

As this process continues, with out entering in the battle, offer to show him the right way (NOT the first time) Tell him, Great job, sometimes the shirt can feel better if you wear it this way.

Other option...plan a special event, give him notice the night before that if he refuses to dress you won't be able to go, if he dresses the next day- praise and go.

If he doesn't, simply say I am sorry we can't go on that walk, because you won't dress.  THEN WALK AWAY! Don't enter in an arguement- it could be what he wants!

Good Luck

Answer 4

STOP doing battle with him.  Lay his clothes out and when he starts to fight with you say "Okay then YOU do it, I don't have time for this" and leave the room.  ALL toddlers go through a point when they don't want clothes on.  If I wasn't going anywhere I just allowed my kids to run naked.  Yes it meant cleaning up after the ones who weren't potty trained but that's part of the job of being a mom...

Answer 5

Um... why do you bother arguing with him? YOU'RE the mom, tell him that this is what has to happen, deal with it. My mom used to have the same problems with me until I was 5, and she would just dress me when I slept!!!

Hope that helps!!!!

Christine

Answer 6

Books are always a good learning tool for toddlers. Find some cute kiddie books on the matter of dressing and try to address the issue between the two. Also the baby seems like he might be ready for potty training. He might be tired of the diaper. To handle his tantrums walk away tell him when he is ready to act like a big boy come get you. Continue on like you dont even notice him. Secondly try picking out clothes together my son likes what he likes and is much more agreeable when he feels he has some say. This dressing thing does not get better believe me.

Answer 7

Don't get worked up when he starts throwing him trantrum, talk to him in a calm voice and let him know what's g oing to happen if he doesn't comply. Also, you should make up a song about getting dressed and ask him if he wants to get dressed all by his bigboy self, he may just want to do some independant clothes changing! You never know!

Answer 8

I'm sorry to say, it is just a phase. When my son was turning two, he started with this fighting. He's now going to be three in October and we still have some trouble. But, by about 2 1/2, he started taking more interest in dressing himself. I would just clench your teeth and deal for a little while longer. Maybe you can start telling him to help you get the clothes together. I know if my son picks his shirt and it's a character shirt that he loves, he tends to want to put it on more. I would get him more involved in picking out his outfits and just maybe taking a little extra time for the wardrobe changes. It's a tough time, but it eventually will get better. As far as diapering, that's a bit tougher. Try changing him while he's standing up. He may not like the fact that he's pinned down. My boy is in Pull Ups now and it's a breeze. Good luck! This is a very tough age!

Answer 9

Ok, this will probably sound strange but when my daughter (almost 2) does this I first say 'well you do it' cos, with some items like trousers or skirts she can do it herself and if she gets stuck she'll WANT my help! But failing that I stomp off and ignore her. They love attention so by withdrawing you are not getting drawn into any battle. When I've done this my daughter has come after me a few minutes later saying 'Mummy?' and I sit looking sad and say 'Mummy upset cause your not getting dressed' and she has pulled out some clothes and tried to dress herself or let me do it rather than see me sad. I think they can understand concepts like happy, sad and angry now so explain these things! "Your making me sad/angry. Thats better. Mummy happy now!"

ANOTHER option is distraction. Tricky things, like for us tights, I do whilst she is brushing her teeth as she stands in the toilet to reach and is concentrating on that whilst I grab and manuver her feet! Same with if she is sitting on the side in the kitchen...makes it easier with the feet dangling and she is distracted by eating breakfast or wanting to touch the things in the kitchen.

Answer 10

if you/he is ready try potty training, or give him a toy for distraction,  or lay them so can see the t.v for a few minutes, i had to do this for a while.

as for dressing try letting him do it, then he may ask for your help, or make it a game, get dress at the same time and race him, make it fun, or let him choose the clothes to put on.

not sure what else, if all else fails try bribery.