How do you deal with gift giving to other people children?

Question

I was reminded this morning that I didn’t send a gift for my cousin’s kids b-day. I feel terrible about this, since me and this particular cousin grew up together and I always give a gift to her kid. Me and Dh are childless, not by choice but by fate. Should it be expected that since we have no kids to buy a gift for each kid we know? This is what we have done in the past, probably a bad habit started on our part, but I get so tired of getting gift want lists from each kid in our family! I usually ask the parents what they need, not what they want, and they don’t tell me sizes of clothes or that they need socks, they just tell me to get the latest and the greatest toy that their kid wants. This drives me nuts!! Any suggestions about how to handle this? I usually set a budget for each kid of $10-$15, should I lower the budget?

Answer 1

If you want to buy your cousin's child a present then that's fine, but I don't think you should be expected to do so and especially not as a routine.  If the child gets a present from you then that's great, but the parent shouldn't expect one every time (maybe a card, but not always a present).  

We buy for immediate family but not extended, so our nieces get something but cousins kids don't - we just can't afford it and I haven't got the time to buy for dozens of kids I never even see either. They wouldn't remember us and we never see them, so it's pointless.  You have to draw the line somewhere.

Kids have too many toys - I don't buy toys anymore, I buy them books instead now (despite what they might have requested!).  There are some great books out there for kids and they read them again and again, unlike some toys which get a total play-time of around 2 hours in their whole lifetime!

Plus, with books, they're often segmented in the shop in age groups which makes it easier for people looking for something for a child that isn't their own.

Answer 2

I have a LARGE extended family and I do NOT give gifts to the kids.  It's one thing if you're invited to their birthday party-by all means buy a gift & take it but it sounds like your cousin is treating you as a toy store or Santa giving you a list of toys to buy.  If you don't want to buy gifts for all of the kids in your family stop doing it.  You can also just lower the budget and get them cheap toys......I was invited to this kid's birthday party.  We went out & bought a gift we thought the kid would like but he didn't even LOOK at it.  That's the end of that.  I know kids are kids but when one expects things and isn't thankful it's an indication they are receiving too much already.

Answer 3

10-15 bucks sounds good but i wouldn't but a price set on anything!

Give from  your heart anything a child gets they will charish!  unless it's home made sweatshirts!LOL

and there is never a too late gift!

just say somethign like i couldn;t find what i wanted to give you so sorry it's late Happy birthday!

Answer 4

It is great to give gifts to young family members. It makes birthdays special when you get something. That said, a child between 2-10 is equally happy getting a candy bar or small dollar store toy in the mail. A child between 11 and 18 "expect" money, so I would just send a greeting card. You really don't need to shell out much money.

Answer 5

Don't lower the budget. Just stop giving.