How do you deal with life stress?

Question

I am a single parent of 3 I never had a close relationship with my mom or sisters although i've spent over 20 yrs trying. I finally started trying to get my life together and now my mom and sister wants me to take care of them too its hard to see them go through stuff, but its easy for them to see me have hard times. I thought i had some good friends in my life but i realized that our friendship was only based on when it was convenient to them and that hurts. Finally i have a guy in my life that I have been with about 8 yrs but things just started hitting a serious level and I love him. He said he love me but he dont want a relationship right now and i dont know how i'm supposed to go back to just being his friend. Everyone say things are going to get better but i don't know how I'm supposed to believe that when everything in my life has been bad. I am really stressing out and don't know what to do

Answer 1

Take the LONGEST RUN of your life. I'm not kidding go running for a mile and back... and clear your mind of everything. It sounds like i'm saying run away from your problems but i'm not. N remember... patients pay off in the long run.

Answer 2

1) You say you're a single mother with three kids...you are NOT your mother's (or sister's) keeper. Trying for 20 years to have a close relationship with them, and now they want YOU to take care of them? s***w them They can fend for themselves...you got kids to tend to.

2) "Finally" you have a guy in your life....and you've been with him for EIGHT years...and it's just started to get serious...but he doesn't want a relationship right now. Well, sweetheart...guess what? s***w him, too. Ditch this loser and find a guy that doesn't want you just for belly-bumping. Seriously.

3) Everything in your life has been bad. Poor thing. Look...time to put an end to the pity party. I've had bad times...so bad I wanted to off myself (and damned near did). You got all your fingers and toes? Do they work? Can you get out of bed each morning unassisted? Thing might not always "get better", but they can always be a LOT worse.

Answer 3

So you are dealt a lofty hand here. There are a lot of things you are doing, and remember that you are "choosing" to do these things.

The relationship with your family is something you can change. Just because you spent 20 years "trying" doesn't mean its impossible, it just means you need to do something else. If you want to be loved, you need to give love. Have you noticed that you like people that really like you? You can't expect heat from a fireplace unless you put wood in first. When you're relationship improves with them, you'll find it easier to do things for them, and they will find it easier to do things for you. We love helping out people we love, and we as humans work best interdependent on each other.

As for your boyfriend, there is something not right with the relationship if he doesn't want one right now. You need to search within yourself to see what is going on between you two. Usually it is communication, if you cannot empathize with the other person, then you can't relate to them, then you can't communicate.

You have a lot more control over your destiny than you know. The way you treat people is the way they treat you. The way you love someone is the way they will love you. The more you seek to understand what other people are going through, the more you will be in agreement with them and the more productive and happy you will be together. Remember, it always starts with you first.