How do you deal with older children and a newborn?

Question

My daughter is almost 4. We have been home with the new baby for a little over a week and my daughter has been SO defiant. And she is only that way with me. She will listen to my husband.

She helps with the baby as much as she can and she don't seem to jealous, but she will not listen to me anymore.

I've tried putting her in the corner, taking away toys, I just don't know what else to do.

Help!!!

Answer 1

She's already feeling a bit left because there's a new baby here and mummy hasn't got as much time for her. Punishing her will only make things worse.

You need to make sure you still spend one to one time with her. Give her lots of praise when she helps with you with the baby and try to keep her as involved as possible so that she doesn't feel shut out.  

Answer 2

Sounds like she's mad at you, im sure if you make her feel like she's the most important one to you she's snap out of it.  Good luck chick :o)

Answer 3

This is a HUGE change for her. I think as new parents we sometimes forget that as much as a new baby effects our lives it also effects the lives of our older children.

Include her. Dont force her to help you and make her do things for the baby. But allow her to when she wants to. Teach her how to make a bottle (if you are bottle feeding) or let her help change the baby-with your supervision.

Pretend you are the baby talking to her "Sister today lets play with your barbies" of course the baby cant play but he/she can sit on your lap while you do.

Make sure you get some time just you and your daughter too.

Punishing her wont help. She doesnt fully understand these emotions going on in her. All she knows is she feels a change and all of a sudden she is not the queen bee anymore.

You would act out on that too.

Shes hurting...instead of punishing the pain (even though some of these behaviors are not acceptable) you need to find other ways to deal with it.