How do you deal with overbearing parents who do not like who there son is going to marry?

Question

Everyone says they are trying to do what is best for relationship. But everyone has opposite opinions and views. How do we make it so everyone gets what they want? Please do not say sit down and have a talk with them. Me and my fiancee tried that today and it failed and blew up in our facies. They say they wont listen to us and they know what they are doing is best. What they are doing is not best it is tearing me and my fiancee apart. HELP!!!!

Answer 1

dude, if ur old enough to get married then u dont need his parents blessing. he's old enough to make his own decisions. just forget them and tell them that whether they like it or not, ur going to get married and they can either come to the wedding a support their son or not.

Answer 2

No one can make some else change.  He is a responsible adult who is in charge of himself.  Families don't always agree, it's unfortunate that they are giving you a hard time.  Just have your fiancee tell his parents something like, "We love you, we hear what you are saying.  We will do some of those things, but other things we have to make our own choice. Those choices are X, Y,Z, and they are non-negotiable.  We won't argue about it anymore, that's just the way it's going to be."  Then just repeat it if they argue.  "We love you, but we have decided".  In the end it's you and your partner, don't feel bad about being adults and making your own decisions.  Don't flare up, just tell them it's your wedding, your lives, and you need their support.  If they don't give it just say, "I'm sorry you feel that way."  Remember don't get mad.  Just decide where you stand and stick to it.

Answer 3

There are as many opinions as people have belly-buttons. Quit asking.

You and the fiancee need to get on the same page first.

If you are really wanting to get married, and his family is actively trying to pry you apart, then your next consideration will be to go over their heads.

If you two are self-supporting and over the age of 18, then you two can just go down to the county courthouse and do the civil wedding ceremony, then host a small reception at your home or at a restaurant... nothing fancy, just punch and cake.

This is a really nice way to include the in-laws while also spelling it out that you are not going anywhere.

Frame that marriage certificate and display it proudly.

Learn to use your answering machine to screen calls and do other things to maintain your boundaries.

Answer 4

When my wife & I got married, almost 42 yrs ago, neither set of parents approved. (we were same race, same religion, same age 25 yrs old, same education level, same income level, & had known each other 7 yrs.) Mine did not come to wedding and have not spoken to us since. My thought is that we were far better off without them in our lives. Her parents just fought with us until the day they died. If we had to do it all over again, we would do it all over again, but we woule have had the folk wedding in a pub that we wanted instead of caving to their wishes and having a church wedding. We have had a wonderful life together, raised 2 wonderful children, and are enjoying 4 fantastic grandchildren. So, follow your heart, but you may loose your family. (I got my bride, lost my family - that was a good trade)

Answer 5

You need to be more specific to the reason they don't want you two married.  It must be something serious if they've expressed it to you on your face...add some more to your question...what's really going on?

Answer 6

Don't pay any attention to what anyone saids.

I went through the same thing with my ex. My mom didn't want me to marry him but I did and it lasted 10 yrs.