How do you deal with people taking advantage of your kindness?

Question

How do you deal with people taking advantage of your kindness?

Answer 1

I don't have an answer for that, but just know you aren't alone.  I know I get taken advantage of at work because I'm too kind.  It's just the way I am, I like to please everyone.

But, not at the expense of my happiness.  If it gets too bad, you have to step up for yourself.  It helps if you're a good judge of character.

Answer 2

Part of "giving" is receiving as well. You need to prioritize WHEN you should be kind, and when to restrain from giving.

ie: your friend asks you for another big favor, and being the kind person that you are, you say yes once again....then your kids have been asking you to take them to the zoo...this was a month ago.

Based on this example, you can see that you also become an unproductive person if you are ALWAYS kind to EVERYONE.

Lesson is, if you begin to realize people are taking advantage of you, think about the example I've just given you, think about your OWN productivity, and learn to say no. My technique is to say "I am busy." If the ask for help is immidiate, simply say something neutral like "I will see to it...." or "I'll try my best" or "I'll see what I can do."

Being kind is part of your personality, and I applaud you for that. But you might want to use your kindness *wisely*, so you can help everyone that does matter to you most.

Answer 3

Continue to be nice - but decide what you want to do.

Sometimes you will be too busy - that's OK.

sometimes you will need to tell people that they need to pay for the gasoline - that's OK.

Learn to say no, not this time, or

"that was a one time offer. I can't do X every week."

It would even be good to say

"i feel that you are taking advantage of me."

Answer 4

You got to learn how to not be so nice.... that was my problem for a long time until I realized what the h**l people are doing with it and taking advantage of me.. so now I know better.....

Answer 5

pHimp slap them for there rudeness, or be COCKY back to them.

Answer 6

I simply say ,you are taking advantage of my kindness ,take it as much as you want.

Answer 7

you have to learn how to say no.. i also have this problem.. i never want to hurt anybodies feelings or turn down things i am capable of doing.. but some people take advantage and you jsut have to say no

Answer 8

Seriously,  I politely say no or make up a lame excuse to get out of the situation and if it doesn't work, I just get mad and make my voice a little louder than usual.  That usually gets their attention and helps in letting them know that they're going a bit overboard.

Answer 9

kick on there ***..!!

GPL.

Answer 10

I read the best bumper sticker one time and I believe it is a quote from Elanor Roosevelt, forgive me if I am wrong:  "Noone can take advantage of you without your consent"  I used to feel like people took advantage of me too, but you really have to learn to say "no" and not worry what people will think of you.  It is hard, but you are worth it!

Answer 11

The truth of thr matter is this.  They are not the one taking advantage of kind people, actualy, if there are kind peoplke whom others can take advantage of, they will indeed take advantage of them.

Come to think of it; u will do the same thing to a person whom u ca take advantage of right? If it just happens u really need to take advantge on someone to get what u want.

so my asnwer to ur problem is: (1) in every action, be in control (2) balance your kindness, bec there obviously is a balance in everything, we just have to figure it out - the right place and right words and right timing, (3) keep your cool with people like these... think before u say yes to them.  Give urself time.

Answer 12

When you are kind to people you have a feeling of satisfaction from what you do. You don't necessarily expect to be thanked or get appreciation for what you do. When you say people are taking advantage, I'm not sure what you mean. You do not need to go out of your way to continue being kind to any particular person, continue being kind to those you feel need your support and just avoid having contact with others who you believe are taking advantage of your kindness.

Answer 13

The best way never show your kindness to ant body.Like that you will not be taken advantage by people. Be kind when the person is really in need of help. but do not be over generous.

Answer 14

I still have this problem sometimes although I've gotten better. I can say no to people now.  Sometimes I realize I almost set myself up to be taken advantage of because right from the start I am willing to do more than my share.  The problem is you can't have an unequal relationship where one person does all the giving and the other all the taking.  Maybe you should ask someone who's been taking advantage of you to do a favor for you.  Just to keep things equal. See how they respond.  Nice people will want to pay you back for things and will do something nice for you some times.  Others will just keep trying to get you to do more and more and some people will actually resent you for what you do.  For instance, I asked a friend if she wanted some decorations from my house I was getting rid of because I redecorated with a different color scheme.  Well, at first she was all happy  about getting the stuff, then she started acting like I was showing off by giving her my cast offs or something.  Well, I didn't mean it that way at all. It was nice stuff and I hated to give it to Goodwill and she has those colors, or she could give the stuff to her kids, etc.  Then I realized that I always drive and pay for the gas when we go somewhere.  I started off doing that and I should have said okay one of us will drive and the other will pay for gas. She never does anything for me but I do stuff for her, so I am going to stop. I invited her to a party and she said she was coming and she stood me up.  Obviously I am being disrespected in the relationship.  I am going to start asking her to drive sometimes.  Otherwise, I don't think the friendship is going to work out because I am starting to feel taken advantage of and I don't think she respects me, just thinks I'm a chump. So, I guess the answer is don't start out doing too much for people until you know how they will react and if they just want to use you.  Some people are suspicious and think you're trying to buy their friendship too.  So you have to respect yourself from the start and not offer too much and let people do things for you.  I hate to ask for favors but you have to be an equal to be friends with someone.

Answer 15

How do i deal with people taking advantage of my kindness?

I still keep being kind and forgive them.

Yes, they will most likely take advantage of it but if it doesnt harm me in any way then i see no reason why to stop being kind to them.

If i am exploited in any way which i dont like then i have to nip it in the butt you know.

Growing up Christian, I believe we msut try to be kind. But the other side of me says to not be nice any more when I'm taken advantage of.

If people are taking advantage of you and using youbecause you are kind, does it really matter if you arent being harmed. Though they may be deceptful and evil, you are helping them and bettering their lives nonetheless. They may some day look back on it and be grateful for your help.  

Answer 16

just say NO

Answer 17

Stop it asap before it becomes a habit. They take advantage of you because you allow them to. I use to let people take advantage of me but I just got tired of it and learned to stand up for myself. It really works. I wish I would have stood up for myself a looooong time ago.