How do you deal with people who are clearly screwed up, but convinced they're not?

Question

I've met this one latino dude from California who's so completely stuck up and egotistic, into himself, and thinks he's just the smartest, hottest, and most amazing thing to ever hit the planet. However, what's hilarious is, he's a complete mess!!

He looks hung over, unshaven, drugged out, completely clueless, no fashion, no personality, and no intelligence, yet puts on these tacky sunglasses, and walks around like he's a superstar or whatever.

I tried to tell him to perhaps calm down a bit ,however to no avail. I got viciously attacked, and he tried "putting me in my place."

However I just gave up because I realized that there are SO SO many people like this. Completely screwed up, and for lack of better words, worthless, yet convinced of their grandiosity.

When you come across textbook cases of screwed up people, people who are either narcissistic, depressed, deluded, mean/nasty, etc,

how do you deal with them, when you KNOW you won't/can't win, and that they're going to listen to themselves and discard your advice?

I'm asking not because of this one person really but...because our WHOLE COUNTRY HAS THIS PROBLEM.

Our country is mentally unhealthy, filled with the most looney and sick people, who are freely roaming about,

and what's worse is,

these people get you into trouble, traffic accidents, arguments, all sorts of things.

It's unavoidable.

Answer 1

I can completely (and I'm sure most people) relate as I deal with those types of people daily. I actually have a friend who thinks VERY highly of herself and almost deluded. I used to become really frustrated but I have found that nothing I say or do will ever change them.  Until they see that they may have problems, it's almost a hopeless battle.  I've learned just to let them be.

Answer 2

Yes, you are so right. So many people are so into themselves nowadays they get downright sociopathic.. yes the country is loaded with the people that only want to get what they can get no matter who they squash, and they tend to blame what they do on everyone else. but there are still good people out there, I find that they are hard to find though. I would just not talk or hang out with that person anymore. He will only get you into trouble and cause nothing but problems in your life.  

Answer 3

You can't do much for people like that.

The only way for those types to learn from their mistakes is to lose someone.  Warnings are never enough, because they don't listen no matter how many times you let them know how their behaviour is effecting you.

Your best being hard on them and turning your back.

Answer 4

I have to ask just what you think your pointing out other people's flaws accomplishes? Just what makes you the arbiter of what is the right way to act in the world? Did you HONESTLY think that your assessment of this particular guy's personality would make him see the light and change? I think you are giving YOURSELF way too much credit. Unless you are dealing with a CLOSE friend or family member, maybe you should mind your own business.

Leave the individuals alone, friend, and focus on societal issues if you want to have an impact. That's where the change comes from.

Answer 5

Move out of your area, become a teacher, drive defensively, push the negative people out of your life, teach by example.

Answer 6

It sounds like you're judging the guy, so perhaps this is why he feels the need to 'show off', to try and hide his vulnerable side.

Often, feelings express themselves as their opposite - maybe he feels insecure, inferior and worthless.  They say a narcissist's biggest fear is one of being found out as a fake, and as inferior - their 'true' self being found out.

It depends if you want to help him, or defend yourself.  If you want to defend yourself, just walk away - it's his problem not yours.  If you want to help, accept him and stop judging.  Be his friend.  Help him accept himself by you accepting him, and maybe even yourself.

Perhaps also look at why he annoys you?  It's my belief that humans have the full range of emotions inside them - hate, greed, selfishness, and life is about accepting this.  Often people annoy us because we see part of ourselves in them that we deny in ourselves, or are unaware of.

We Need Not Judge. We Need Not Deny. Instead, We Must Understand and Accept Ourselves & Others.

Take care,

Gaz

Answer 7

avoid him.. you can walk away right?

Answer 8

No, it is not unavoidable. It is a choice YOU made to associate with this type of person. Obviously, your ethics and morals are completely opposite of this person. So, you can make a choice to disassociate yourself with this person and avoid him at all costs INSTANTLY RIGHT NOW or you can continue to be this loser's friend. It's up to you. Make that choice NOW.

If you want to meet clean, intelligent people whom you respect and those who will respect you back, then start meeting those people TODAY. If you want to be a millionaire, start meeting wealthy sharp individuals  TODAY. It is YOUR CHOICE.

Remember, a loser will do everything in his power to drag you down his path which will make you just like him -- a loser. A winner will do everything in his power to move you up with him which will make you just like him -- a winner.

-----------------------------------

I totally disagree with Gaz D down there. You do not have to accept this loser. You clearly have a much higher standard of ethics and morals where this guy clearly doesn't. Simply walk away and avoid him at all costs. Do not try to help him. It's only going to make things worse. You can't change people nor should you try. You clearly stated he was becoming physically violent with you, so don't you think you should walk away before things gets worse? He's only going to drag you do down with him.

Always ask yourself one question when meeting new people. How is this person going to benefit YOU (and vice versa, of course)? Clearly, this loser has nothing to offer to you, so why waste your time on this loser? In fact, he has negative impact on your life, does he not?

Remember, it's not about judging, it's about walking away. Don't waste your time or breath on losers. Losers are the biggest obstacles in your life from achieving success and happiness. Don't let them drag you down with them. Instead, focus on YOUR goals by meeting the right people and you will succeed and become a much happier person.

Answer 9

More unkind people than me would show them the back of their hand.

I'm kind enough to be patient with them, and hope that with time, they will see the errors of their ways.

Of course, if anyone ever tried to "Put me in my place", then they'd end up with a fistfull of win flying towards their face faster than they could blink.

p.s; you should leave people like that alone, holmes!

*deliberate*

Answer 10

The hardest thing in the world to try to change is someones personality, because by telling them that it's bad you are actually telling them that the person they are and have been for years is wrong and its treatening to them.  Lots of people do have these problems but you are actually better off ignoring or just going along with them depending on how often you have to see them.  

I'm not saying you should tell them that they are amazing, but just don't argue with them that they aren't.  

Sorry i know that is probally not what you wanted to hear.

Answer 11

They're unavoidable, they're all around us, you just need to walk away and never look back, don't involve them in your life, stay away for your own sanity, trust me, been there, done that and I'm not going down that road EVER again! I have family members, who are so egotistical, you can't stomach being in the same room with them. Let's just say, if I ever come back to CA., they won't know I'm back.

Do yourself a huge favor, forget trying to convince them what idiots they are, they're in such denial as to the truth of the matter, you could talk till you're blue in the face, nothing and I mean nothing, will ever convince them of how deluded and pathetic they truly are. Just remember, we know the truth.

Answer 12

Just let them crash and burn. People like that only open their eyes when the consequences come home to roost and they have to pay the price of living in a fantasy world.

Answer 13

Stay away from people you know are screwed up and BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE in the world.