How do you deal with people who are very immature for their age?

Question

I have stepdaughters, the 13 year old is very mature and behaves like she is 15. The 15 year old is very immature and behaves like she is 11 or 12. I don't know why it bothers me that she is so immature?

Answer 1

They are your stepdaughters, let your husband handle it.

Answer 2

Why are you so concerned about you step daughter? You already made a question about her am i correct? The poor girl, leave her alone! Your probably annoying the heck out her. Shes probably not acting immature, shes just acting like a regular 15 year old girl, let her own mother and father deal with it, she doesn't want you to.

EDIT

Well then obviously dont let her watch YOUR child, some people just are not good with kids. Your the wrong one for letting her take care of a child so young that she obviously can not handle. Also, you may have been with her since she was a toddler but you still are not her mother and there for dont have the right to teach her, if it has to do with your kids however just tell her simply "I really do not think you are up to taking care of -insert name of kid-, if you would like to to help me take care of -insert name of kid- for now you can and when you are old enough to know how to care for him/her you can earn some money."

Answer 3

People mature at different times, she'll catch up. She's not your daughter, so she probably wouldn't appreciate it if you talked to her about it. If it really bothers you that much, ask your husband to deal with it.

Answer 4

It doesn’t matter if they’re mature/immature….what matters is that they are your stepdaughters and you should respect that they are children and you are the adult. So they may be immature, but they’re children. Again, you are the adult so you need to put your cattiness aside.

I have a 5 yr old stepdaughter and my husband and myself are a united front with her. Just as we are with our son. We want neither child to feel more or less special treatment than the other, so we do things exactly the same, age appropriate.

Typically I’d tell you that first of all, these girls are at that lovely age of “teens”. Second, why does immaturity bother you? They’re teenagers? What is it that she does that totally irritates you? Is it something as stupid as leaving her plate at the table vs her completely disrespecting you? Because kids will be kids, teens will be teens, but you should never allow disrespect.

Maybe you need to have a talk with your husband about this….does the child have any positive influences in her life? Maybe she’s being immature for attention?

There could be so many reasons behind this, but ultimately, she’s 15…..

** ADD **

My honest opinion is that if she's immature, dont' give her adult responsibilities such as watching your child. Don't pay her an allowance if she's not doing things properly. I also think that if she allows the child to fall over in a pool when he can't quite swim himself, or if she kicks him or whatever you stated, then it's something deeper than immaturity. And it's also irresponsibility....

Teach her a lesson with tough love. Don't give her "rewards" when she hasn't done things the proper way. And give her the lecutre to go with it.....

Give her a choice to either grow up and act her age or to be treated like a baby and not given the choice to do things on her own. And you guys make decisions for her. I'm sure she'll change real fast...

Answer 5

You deal with them as though they actually were the age they act.

It bothers you because she can help it, but doesn't. Unfortunately, as stepmom or "not-mom" as kids see it, there isn't much you can do---but you are an adult and should be respected.

It's fine if she acts like a baby but set boundaries and don't let her cross. Let her father handle the issues that don't directly relate to you.