How do you deal with programmed people who rub you the wrong way? Just ignoring them is not an option. ?

Question

It's impossible to ignore what I call the automaton bully people who seem to thrive on relentless confrontation. I generally curse them out but nothing seems to ever phase them. How do you deal with these creatures from Invasion of the Body Snatchers that have multiplied exponentially in the general populace like the cockroaches they are.

Answer 1

they thrive on confrontation. so don't confront them, just be like.... ok, i agree, yeah...  

Answer 2

The first answer is quite good...although what is it exactly about them that bothers you? Seeing as changing them is not working, you have two options....change yourself or try and figure out what is behind them being how they are, so you can just accept them as who they are without reacting......

Changing the way they make you react...because being reactive is not helping your mental health at all, and is only eating you up, maybe a bigger perspective on these kinds of people will help you be pro active, and part of the solution to letting their strong opinions go.

You obviously have strong opinions too, if the wording of your question is anything to go by....do they challenge you?

There is also another way of looking at this too....there are coping skills, or "survival kits" but "Programmed" I suppose could be another way to describe that, that people learn early in life that they carry into adult life, and although they are outmoded they keep them because there is no other way they have ever been shown to cope, and it works for them at some level.

They have been so afraid of being bullied in life that they have travelled across the other side of the road into the other ditch and have become the bullies hinking the are being assertive (but are stroppy and overbearing) and that keeps them safe...or so they think. Also, they truly be able to see another's boundaries, seeing others as an extension of themselves, and they can't honestly believe that others do not think just like they do...extreme lack of self awareness...either way they are to be pitied, not argued with and until the pain of losing friendships and employment through the complaints of other staff finally hits home they are not likely to ever make the effort to change.

Just make sure you catch yourself, and don't become the same, afraid that they are bullying you, so you bully back.

All the best.

Mel

Answer 3

cursing is so not going to work. if you can't ignore them try to forget them. find a group of friends: it's harder to bully a group. don't worry about the 'automatons' just think of yourself and what you are doing. Good luck