How do you deal with someone who hates you for no aparant reason?

Question

My husbands female cousin in her 30's has kids with like 3 different guys yet she claims that I"m "jealous" of her?? Her older daughter kind of shoved me, and I told my husband about it. Then the older son threw pebbles at me while at the park. I just don't know how to deal with her hatred I never even really talked to her ever just hi and bye.

Answer 1

I wouldn't even worry about it.  Totally just ignore her and her kids.  There is obviously some problems over there and you don't need to be part of it.  Some people just need to cause problems to get attention. Don't stoop to her level.  Just act like you don't even know them. Good Luck.

Answer 2

(Romans 12:18-21) . . .If possible, as far as it depends upon YOU, be peaceable with all men. 19 Do not avenge yourselves, beloved, but yield place to the wrath; for it is written: “Vengeance is mine; I will repay, says Jehovah.” 20 But, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by doing this you will heap fiery coals upon his head.” 21 Do not let yourself be conquered by the evil, but keep conquering the evil with the good.

(Matthew 5:43-48) . . .YOU heard that it was said, ‘You must love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 However, I say to YOU: Continue to love YOUR enemies and to pray for those persecuting YOU; 45 that YOU may prove yourselves sons of YOUR Father who is in the heavens, since he makes his sun rise upon wicked people and good and makes it rain upon righteous people and unrighteous. 46 For if YOU love those loving YOU, what reward do YOU have? Are not also the tax collectors doing the same thing? 47 And if YOU greet YOUR brothers only, what extraordinary thing are YOU doing? Are not also the people of the nations doing the same thing? 48 YOU must accordingly be perfect, as YOUR heavenly Father is perfect. . .

Answer 3

Have you talked badly about her to other people, who then told her what you said?

It sounds like she uses violence to get her message across. She may not be the kind of person you can reason with, but give it a shot.

If she won't talk with you, don't associate or even acknowledge her.

Answer 4

she just mad that a beautiful sweethearted women took her cousin becuz she dreamed about marring him for 5 years when she was a kid lmao  just ignore her bitchy *** and her kids ..

Answer 5

theres a reason i assure you

you need to sit down with her just the two of you and talk calmly

dont look for ways to attack or point out her faults and mistakes

based on what you wrote here you feel your better than her and you probably treat her that way

Answer 6

I would tell her to kiss you where the good lord split you!!

Just kidding.  From the sound of it, seems like she's the one who is jealous.  If that's the case, there's not much you can do about it.  Some people are just like that.

If it were me, I would have a one on one with her.  I would step to her, and without beating around the bush, I would say "I don't know what your problem is with me, but it doesn't matter because I know I did nothing wrong to you. The bottom line is I am married to your cousin, so I will be around rather you like it or not.  If you don't like it, then that's something YOU need to deal with, however, keep it to yourself. Out of respect for my husband and your family I will let it go, but if you EVER step out of line with me again, you will see a side of me that will make you wish you wouldn't have! I'm willling to put this mess behind us, but if you aren't, then so be it, however, you WILL respect me!"

Answer 7

well you can try to talk to that person if that doesnt work.. you can ignore her....thats wat i do sometimes sorry i'm new at this yahoo answers...

-HOPE iT WORKS!(:<3

Answer 8

Did you mention the pebble incident to her?

I would ask her what her deal is.

Answer 9

Just dint visit her anymore. She probably is jealous of you

Answer 10

you should confront her because that's just stupid. I think she is just jealous of you.  

Answer 11

You heard the saying:

"Kill them with kindness"?

Well it works.

Kindness can remove the stones from any ones heart. Oh it will not be easy and it want happen over night, but it will work.

"Love never fails"

1Corinthians 13:8

x x x

Answer 12

"just kill her"

hahaha

that was a good one..

i think that you should just talk to her calmly and try to understand what her problem with you is and why she acts the way she does..maybe a misunderstanding has taken place that you are not aware of..!you can also try being more friendly to her and maybe she softens and stops being a *****..:)

Answer 13

I think that she's in to the whole incest thing and was planning to get her hands on your man. Tell your husband your leaving him if he doesn't get them to stop!

Answer 14

Maybe because you have never really talked to her she is taking it as being s****.. That could be why she thinks your jealous. I'm terribly shy and have problems talking with people and because of this they tend to think I'm a snob. You could either try to get to know her a little better or ignore her. I don't think there are many options.  

As for the kids...well they just sound like spoiled brats who have not been taught how to act.

Answer 15

Talk to her, yet you must be aware that she might not want to acknowledge it or open to you. She's probably the one who's jealous of you, and her behavior only reflects her own insecurities. The best thing to do in this case is ignore her. Unfortunately, we have to deal with such kind of people all the time.  

Answer 16

confront her about it, if you ignore her, they might stop, but it'll take a while. talk to her and be like whattttt is your problem!?

Answer 17

Pray about it & then you will know what to do :)

Answer 18

go up to her and ask her why she is mad at you. If that doesnt do anything then try to get the kids to like you go out with them and buy them ice-cream or something then the kids will like you and maybe they can convince the mom to like you to! I dont know just guessin! lol

Answer 19

25% of people won't like you and never will

25% of people won't like you and can be persuaded to like you

25% of people will like you, but can be persuaded not to

and the most important

25% of people will and will always like you

They must just be in that first 25 percent.  Hate is a poison that is going to consume them.  Just stay positive and don't let them steal your joy.  

Answer 20

avoid her.

Answer 21

Your answer is in your question. Keep doing what you are doing and steer clear of her. You can't make her like you and it sounds like she has been pretty clear about her opinion of you.

It's too bad but family members don't always get along.

Answer 22

dont stoop to her lvl continue to be nice and ignore the rest as best as you can

Answer 23

i would confront her.. ask her what her problem is and if that doesnt solve anything ignore her..

obvisouly she is teh one jealous of you....

Answer 24

I would talk to her. Tell her that you would like for the two of you to be friends, and see what she says. I wouldn't think anything about how her kids acted except that they are rude.

I had a similiar experience a while back. When this other girl and I starting really talking, we found that we actually did like eachother.  

Answer 25

Personally, I'd just hate her back. She if she likes it. If some snot-nosed kid who's been brain-washed by their mother shoved/ threw pebbles at me, I'd throw a cream pie in their face or something.

Answer 26

I would be polite to her, but don't act like your desperate for her and her kids to like you. Don't completely avoid her, but be polite enough to her like saying hi or something. You don't have to engage in deep conversation, just get a talk going about what's going on at work and so on. She doesn't have to be your friend, and you don't have to be hers.  

Answer 27

What a hoe bag.

Definitely confront her..because sometimes ignoring the situation does nothing.

If you confront her in front of people it'll embarrass her and basically give a reality check telling her that she isn't as subtle about her attacks as she thinks and it'll make her aware of the fact that you don't let people walk all over you, that is basically what she is doing..

could be that she is jealous of you and in returns despises you for what you have and what she doesn't but wants..

Good luck!

You really need to confront this heifer.

Answer 28

Well, for me, I just act normally. It doesn't affect me when others hate me, as long as they won't do anything to harm me. If someone hates me then just be it, I will not hate them because I didn't do something wrong/bad to them. Well I think I will just talk to them and ask why they hate me, and of course anything has a reason.

Answer 29

I really think it's time for a family sit down.  If there is a matriarch or patriarch that everyone listens to, maybe get that person to help mediate and talk to her, just the three of you, to figure out what's going on and how it can be stopped.  I hate when people do dumb c**p like that, just makes you want to slap them, but then they think they were justified in saying you didn't like them.  Sound to me like she's got low self esteem and you seem to have it together so she feels bad and thinks you wouldn't and shouldn't like her and projects her feelings about herself on to you.

Answer 30

Don't deal with people who are petty, if your husbands not going to stand up for you then it's your decision to not be around her.  Throwing anything at an adult is unacceptable.  If this is how she let's her children behave-she must  be lacking basic intelligence.  Enjoy time with your own family or friends when he sees this cousin.  I would never tolerate this.  

Answer 31

You set her kids straight I dont care if she is there or not. If her kids shove you or throw rocks at you you need to tell them in a stern tone that you dont appreciate that. sounds like the woman is jealous of you because you have a husband. Anyway you need to tell the mother that if she cant act right then she doesnt need to be around you or your husband. do not let people walk all over you you need to tell people how it is and ser them straight and let them know they cannot treat you any old kind of way. If you do not stick up for yourself they will continue to treat you like c**p. hope this helps