How do you deal with the pain of a break up?

Question

we have been broken up for alittle over two months. i have been fine until about two weeks ago. we have stayed friends and don't fight at all. two weeks ago she ask me if i would be mad if she went back to her ex that she was engaged to, to see if they still had a connection. if it doesn't work out and she comes back to me it WILL be better knowing that she is finally over him, but I'm soo hurt and lonely. i dont understand why she isnt over him yet. she is my best friend. how do people deal with this?? also, i work with her and he works for my company so i see both of them all the time... someone please give me some advice. thanks

Answer 1

Friends, Music, Junk Food, Movies, Talk to someone,  Chick Flicks, Shopping.. Etc..

Im trying really hard to get over my ex... i miss him like crazy...

and its only been 4 days

My best friend keisha is keeping me a bit occupied though..

Techno Music works too.. kind of makes me hyper though x]

Ever seen the movie "John Tucker Must Die"

Its a bit of a pick me up xD

Good luck hunn<3

Answer 2

It sounds as if she's taking you for granted.

Find some hobbies. Join a political parity. Find new friends.

But... a little pain is probably unavoidable. I know it feels as if it's going to last forever. Believe me, it won't!

Uh... don't try to drink the pain away. Alcohol is just another problem if you overdo it.

Answer 3

Focus on the needs of others and you may well be surprised to find that the rest of the world has kept on going and there are loads of folks that NEED someone like you, to just listen. What a difference even a smile can make to someone shut in.  Volunteer at a homeless shelter and dish up the dinner.  Mentor a "disaffected youth", (you have a business, so you must have some skills to offer)  Just ask the local volunteer agency and they can set you up.  The important thing is to focus on others besides yourself or your ex.  Don't let your desperation show!  Volunteer to walk someone's dog for them.  Dogs are great at listening, and it gets you out into the fresh air.  Write down EXACTLY how you feel.  Read it, then tear it up into 1,000 pieces.  To me it's strange that a woman would ASK an ex if he would be mad if I went back to by previous ex.  What kind of a question is that?  I would assume it would be a tender subject, and shouldn't she realise how hurtful this would be?  I would.  So you need to get out and get busy!  Can you work from home for a few days?   Time and distance are recommended. And keep your mind occupied - lose yourself in a thick book!  Don't be too hard on yourself: at least you are a sensitive soul who FEELS.  There are those poor souls who don't seem to be able to feel any emotion.

Answer 4

Music is a good one. Also, cut your contact with her. Continuing to talk to her will prolong the ordeal. Wish her a happy life with her ex or whoever else she might meet, but don't wait around for her. The sooner that you start to rebuild your life and your confidence, and make new friends, the better off you are. Saying she will "come back" to you if it "doesn't work out" with someone else is just trying to keep you on a string. Don't be anyone's second choice! You, in the end, after the pain, will find something far better. It's always hard to believe that in the middle of the pain, but almost always true.

Until then, relish the heartache. It won't kill you and in the end it makes you a better person. Definately cut the contact with her, tho. You can find other friends who don't hurt you, unintentionally or otherwise.

Answer 5

hanging out with your friends, drinking, and hooking up with strangers usually helps alot.

Answer 6

freekin music? no that makes it worse..then you listen to a sad song and cry...i have friends that make me feel better and having a lot of girl friends to flirt with make it good too[ well for me it's guy friends to flirts with] but you get it...you may even start to like one of those girl friends and go out with them.

good luck

Answer 7

If you care about her enough to wait then just spend time w/ your guy friends and at work try to keep yourself busy so you aren't looking for them and watching driving your self crazy. At least she had the decency to ask how you would feel. It all depends on if you would even want her back after she left to be w/ the person she left for you.  

Answer 8

Man, do you really want to be the second in line? Things will only work out if they don't work out between her and this other guy? Essentially, she prefers this other guy, and she's keeping you around in case things don't work out. Nobody deserves to be treated like that. Cut all ties with her except professionally. And when she wants you back, remember that she only does because she didn't find what she wanted with this other guy. I am a firm believer that it's nice to say, we've broken up but we're still going to be friends. There is a difference in being friends and just being civil to each other. Break up and be civil. Don't be friends. Good luck- and find someone who you are first and only too!

Answer 9

Chuck ain't diggin much. Music is probably the best thing, if you are into rock, hiphop, rn b reggae.

Breakup is not good and the best thing is to accept it happened and if its a person that you can avoid in the sense that you do not have to be with around all the time then do it. if it's not possible for that, ignore it when it's pretty in your eyes or face.

Overall thing, be friendly and i think going back to it would not be of any help.

Answer 10

Music is the best way to get out of any hard times.