How do you decipline a 15 yr with adhd?

Question

she has adhd and axiety disorder.. her doctor is trying to rule out bipolar and shizcopreniza.. because she does talk to people that are not there..some times she stays up really late.. like 4 to 5 am.. and on the computer typing.. and she can get loud when she type.. when i tell her i am going to take the computer away.. she says she will kill her self because i am taking away her friends..and they help her stay sane..she has told my bf she was going to kill him in his sleep .. when she was mad at him..right now i am just letting her be.. as long as she is quite and we get to sleep.. but she never helps out around the house and i offered to pay her.. the one week she did help out i told her i would give her 25 buck..but i gave her 40.. we were going to the mall so i wanted to give her a few extra bucks to show what she could earn .. and yeah she wants a real job but i am not sure she could handle it.. should i let her try or wait to find out what her doctor says

Answer 1

i have ADHD and so does my two older daughters (dunno about the third, she's only a baby yet) and let me tell you, it's h**l on wheels dealing with it.

this is what happens:

i get up and while i'm dressing, i realize i have no clean clothes.  shoot, that's right - i meant to do laundry yesterday.  okay, sort the laundry now, i'll make breakfast, feed the baby, then we can get to the laundromat before she takes her nap.  

havnig sorted the laundry, i remember i need to empty the pockets so i dump out all the bags and go through all the pockets - "oh, appt card... tomorrow!??  bugger!!!!"  go get the phone to reschedule the dr's appt.  the receptionist puts me on hold as usual and i know it'll be a long time so i go out on the balcony to bide my time and i notice the plants haven't been watered.  go back inside, go to the kitchen to get some water but the sink is full of dishes so i start washing them to get room to fill the watering can and then the baby gets up and starts crying.  she needs breakfast, so i stop washing dishes and i open the fridge and stand there trying to decide what to make for breakfast and that's when the receptionist comes back and wants to know if tuesday's good for me but i have to go back to my room to get my appt book and i trip over the laundry piled all over the floor and get mad and kick it so now i don't know which has been sorted and i can't find my appt book and the baby's crying and the plants haven't been watered and the snik is overflowing because i forgot to shut the tap off.

trust me:  a "swift kick" is not going to fix that kind of distractability.

and yes, i can stay online for 28hrs straight - i've done it (pre baby).

what you need to do is not say "help me around the house".  she looks around and sees "house" with "stuff".

instead, give her a checklist of, to start, three or four things.  "you can't go on the computer until these are done" - and make them VERY basic - not "clean the kitchen".  we're talking:

- remove dirty dishes from counter and put in sink.

- wipe counter with wet cloth

- fill sink with water hot but not too hot for your hands

- add a small squirt of soap (i put the soap on the sponge - lasts longer)

- wash each dish in turn and put in empty sink

- when empty sink is full, turn on water and rinse each dish, place in rack

- repeat washing dishes until they're all gone

- sweep kitchen floor

- wipe stove

- wipe fridge

- put away dishes if they're dry

put little ticky-boxes next to each item on the list so she can check them off

put a time frame next to each one:  "wipe stove (30 seconds)"

you might find she's better able to focus then.

Answer 2

No offense, but I think all your daughter need is a good swift kick in the butt and for you to stop enabling her. She is doing it for attention, people who kill themselves don't threaten it, they just do it. Yes you should pnish her and quit feeling soory for her and stop blaming her actions on her illness.

Answer 3

First of all to respond to the one who said your daughter needs a swift kick in the butt....get a life!! If you don't have children or children with emotional and behavioral problems that stem from a chemical imbalance... a swift kick in the butt is not the answer. What I would recommend, is get a GOOD psychiatrist that specializes in adolescence and teens... Your girl needs medical attention, yes, you may very well be enabling her with the money and computer... don't we all enable our children in one way or another... I just got my daughter diagnosed... she started out ADHD now has been diagnosed with severe mood disorder with some bi polar symtoms... Best advice seek profesional help and DON"T let  "well meaning" people tell you it's your fault...you are doing the best you can in this situation.. Blessings!

Answer 4

I think that you need to get your child into therapy that specializes with adhd as well as mental disorders. I would also talk to her Dr. about your concerns and see if she/he has any therapists they can recommend as well as medications.

Answer 5

no offence, i really dont want to hurt you here, but i think she needs to see a shrink. i was going to reckomend the wooden spoon as a joke but then i read this. its a bit more than adhd. anyway, i would wait for the doctor before the whole job thing. a serious bit of advice here, crush some sleeping pills into her drink or food, she will be out in no time, also, break her computer keyboard and say youll buy here a new one if she helps you out for a month.

Answer 6

I agree with Jen's answer!

Don't let her fool you, she is just a teenager who knows how to get her way. You not taking the computer away from her shows her that you are scared of her. You are the boss and authority, and you should make that clear. You should be monitering her activity on the computer and make sure she isn't talking to people she shouldn't be. A job doesn't sound like a bad idea, because it would help her to get more involved in the world.

Answer 7

to tell u the truth i used to b some wat like this at a younger age but now im on meds and my parents have really come down on me so i sujest u get strict take the computer away and every thing else and let her have a job teach her some dicapline and im 15 now and ppl say im really mature for my age so listen to my advice i hope i helped

Answer 8

wait for doctor/sounds like she needs some meds