How do you define a "SINGLE MOTHER"?

Question

A woman is married and has a baby. Then she cheats, and the husband leaves. They have joint custody and he pays child support. Do you think it's right for her to refer to herself as a "single mother"? What defines a single mother?

Answer 1

I think a more accurate label than "single mother" for her, given the circumstances, is S****y McSlut.  I hate cheaters.

I've always considered a single mother someone who has no father in the picture at all; no child support being paid, no joint custody, etc.  The lady who answered and said the father hasn't paid in two months and doesn't see the kid, I would consider that being a single mother.

Answer 2

Just because they have joint custody does not mean that he is actually there and really helping.  

Traditionally, single parent refers to a parent's marital status, they are not married or not in a serious relationship.

Today, I would consider a single parent someone who has primary custodial custody (the child lives with them full time).  Even if the other parent is actually paying and has joint legal custody, they are not there living with you to help you in that respect.

Answer 3

No not if her husband is taking care of the child too. I use to be vvhat I call a single mother, I vvas 18 and the dad vvasn't around at all. I vvasn't getting any child support or help taking care of my child, I vvorked my butt off, paid for daycare, bought everything my baby needed and did it completely on my ovvn!  That is my definition of a single mother.

Answer 4

A single mother is any woman that has children that she is caring for on a daily basis without help from another person.  Although the husband pays child support and they have joint custody, when the children are with her, she's still considered a single mother.  She's the only one caring for them at that point and time, hence the "single" part of it.  The father is also considered a single father.  If you really want to be technical about it, then perhaps a better "label" for her would be to refer to herself as a divorced mother.  *shrug*  Its just a phrase and a reference to marital status more than anything.  You don't have to take it quite so literal.

* I don't think its your place (or anyones place) to dismiss one persons struggles just because they aren't "100% a single mother".  I'm sure she goes through lots of difficult times and emotional struggles just like a "true" single mother does.  Perhaps to constantly deal with and worry about the ex is even more stressful than if he weren't in the picture at all.  Saying that she doesn't deserve empathy and compassion is just silly.  EVERYONE deserves compassion.  You'll never understand people's struggles until you walk a mile in their shoes.

**Yes, it was inappropriate for her to use the "single mother" excuse just because she was having a bad day.  That being said, we all have bad days.  I try to always give people the benefit of the doubt (or however that saying goes)  Just shrug it off and consider it a fluke.  If she constantly uses it as an "excuse" then at least you know what kind of person she is and can avoid her at all costs.  lol

Answer 5

No I dont agrree with her being a single mother. To me by definition a single mother is ...no daddy in the picture to come and get the kid(s) for the weekend or at anytime, child support or not. When she is the sole parent, she is a single mother. She needs to thank her lucky stars she has/had a dude that takes interest in the child..

Answer 6

Hmmmmmm.... Right now my son's father has joint legal custody of my son.  He's also ordered to pay child support.

He hasn't seen my son in two months and he has only paid one weekly payment of his support in the past two months.

Yeah, I'm a single mom.  Even if he was visiting with his son and paying his support, I'd STILL be a single mom.  :)

Answer 7

A single parent is a parent lacking the other parent, be it a parent who only has weekend visitation and is(or is not) paying child support or a parent who has primary custody and is (or is not) receiving child support or parents who share custody w/or w/o a support order.

However, just because they are single parents does not mean they are not doing alright as well as support and the single parents who are receiving a hefty amount of support each month as well as having family support who cry how tough it is to be a single parent need to take a minute and think how hard it is for those who have no family support and are not receiving a dime in child support because the dead beat quits every job before they can make a wage attachement and doesn't even bother w/the child.

Edit: I take offense to that comment 'I think the term "single mother" invokes sympathy and compassion - as it should.'

I never in my life when I was a single mother (to the fullest extent, no support from family, no child support, no father to be there NOBODY) and not once, NOT ONCE did I ever, ever expect sympathy. I made the choice of the father, I erred and d**n it to h**l I was going to and did rectify that horrendous error on my behalf. Just because someone is a single parent does not make them weak and in need of others sympathy. Let your friend complain because quite frankly, the cost of living by far exceeds todays wages. In today's world, unless you are born with a silver spoon in your mouth or land that perfect job, it takes TWO people to provide for a family and if this individual or any other you know happen to be working their butts off with little return for their family who are you to judge them for complaining about it.

Single mother DOES NOT EQUAL sympathy.

Do not pity me when I am down but be proud of me for getting back up.