How do you define yourself as a parent?

Question

Do you define your parenting by the dsicpline methods you use? I have seen several questions today that defined bad and good parents based on wether they spank or not. I have never defined myself as a parent by my choice not to spank. I have never looked at another parent as bad or good based on wether they spank either. How do you define yourself as a parent? What criteria do you use?

Answer 1

I do the best I can and by definition I am a mother since I gave birth. No one has the right answer and you should do what is best or your family.

Answer 2

I just hope in 20 years I can look back and say "yep I did good" Until then I'm just along for the ride.

Answer 3

I define myself as a parent by the way I treat them and my ability to be able to handle what ever they can throw my way :)  I want to be able to be as much like Christ in my parenting as I can.  That's what I want to define me as a parent.  I need God's guidance daily, actually minute by minute, and His grace, love and patience.  Those are the things that I want to define me as a parent.

Spanking or not spanking is not what should define anyone as a parent.  There are many ways to be a good parent.

Answer 4

i define parenting as raising loving, caring, respectable, responsible children. you are a "teacher" of life. there are many ways to disapline and raise children. we all have our own ways. as long as they grow to be the best they can be/or not. you know you at least did your "teaching" the best way possible. (no that doesnt mean beatings etc is ok)  

Answer 5

I define myself as a parent in my ability to take care of my children and their needs. I do not complain when i have to clean up puke, i do not cry when the children are getting on my last nerve, i just keep on going. Spanking or not spanking is not a reality. I do spank my kids and never once have had a person say something to me about it...of course then again i only do it when i need their attention NOW, like if they run out into the road, or try to. I will say though, i do look at other parents that are say...walking through wal-mart...and they look at their crying and/or screaming child and start screaming at them or saying nasty things to them, as bad parents. It is not right to tell a child some of the things that i hear people say to their kids sometimes...

Answer 6

Excellent observation, KitKat.  I have noticed the same thing.  I do believe it is the more immature ones who have found a more "grown up" way to play the old high school favorite, "I'm better than you".  I usually don't even bother to answer if I can tell it's all for the purpose of being the better mom.

Your question is  a great one and it caused me to examine myself.  I already knew that the discipline issue surely wasn't how I defined myself as a parent, but knowing specifically what I DID use to define myself as a mom was something I guess I never put into words until I read your question.  

I would have to say that for me, I define myself as a parent by what God wants me to be.  I don't claim to measure up, (how I wish I did!), but God's idea of parenting is always my goal.  I fail sometimes and other times, I think I do pretty good job.

But overall, I define myself as a parent by comparing myself to God's idea of a good parent.  Doing that keeps me always striving to improve and it helps me to not lose focus of the big picture which, for me, is raising up children who also want to please God.

Thanks for the question!!