How do you discipline a 5 and 6 year old?

Question

My son and daughter fight over who is first and other silly things. I try compromise, but sometimes it's just not happening. What do you do when they don't respond to reason? My husband loses it and I'm at a loss. If I tell them 5 times to do something and they don't do it, I figure I'm the slow learner and I need a new strategy.

Answer 1

what really works is to tell them to go to their room. And yes they will prob start crying but dont worry there just hoping you will fall for it and let them out of there room. And if they *** to you asking if they can *** out yet u say NO and tell them to go back to their room and think bout what they did. And let them be in there for like 10-15 min and then *** and ask if they knew what they did and if they dont then expalin to them what they did wrong.

Answer 2

Fights between sibblings are going to happen, here are some things I do with my children.  who are 11 and 9 now. but I have done this forever.

if it is a I want to be first fight,  I would simply say who ever says they want to be first, gets it last.  after a few times of being last they started to wait quietly.  and I would do my best to make sure they got their drinks or snacks at the same time.  If they faught over toys, I took the toy and put it away.  

They soon learned to realize that fighting was not productive and niether kid benefited.

I did the same thing with television viewing. They had to decide on one.  With books,  each kid picked a book for bed time,  And we had a chart to say whose book we read first.  the next day it was the other ones turn to go first.

same with bath time and every thing else.

Then if by chance, we did have a disagreement of some sort,  I tried to let them work things out  themselves.  if they couldn't, then I interviened making them talk to each other and waiting for the other one to finish before saying any thing.

They had fighting rules, they could only use the word I.  I don't like it  when my toy is taken.  I don't like to be pushed it hurts my feeling and so on they could not use the words directed to the other child.   If both kids got into trouble, they could not mention anything the other child did they could only discus what they did.  And why it is wrong to do.  No Blaming the other child.  

Now I don't know if it was all the rules or having to take responsibility for their own behavior or what but fighting is very rear in my house.  

Try it out  see if it helps.  It works for us.   I have 3 kids  but my oldest is 21 so pretty much he was to old to fight with the younger ones.

Answer 3

THIS WORKS 4 ME AS A KID.....

ban them from things they love...toys..gam,es

Answer 4

Tell them to do it once, twice if you're feeling nice.  (that's my moto)

Once they don't listen then it's off to the naughty chair for 10 minutes.

End of story.

You're the parent, tell them "I am your mommy, you listen to me, do you understand?"  have them say "yes ma'am" and don't accept anything else.  Tell them that when you tell them to do something it's NOT a question or an option it's a demand & if they don't listen there WILL be consequences.  "What's your choice... do you want to have a good day, happy day or do you want to have a bad one in the naughty center?"

Of course don't tell them all this all at once.... they'll tune you out .. lol

Answer 5

the corner, if no corner is available then the wall...a minute for every year of age. Also I do something when all the kids cant seem to be truthful , so all of them get the punishment. I dont hit them though, but i also take away tv and video games, but standing in the corner is the best one yet for me anyway.

Answer 6

read this article

http://www.slate.com/id/2188744/

Answer 7

I have a 5 year old son and a 6 year old god-son that stays over a lot and when they start fight there is only one thing that works, manual labor. they have to learn to work together and it wears them out. They will want to just get back to playing nicely. It may sound hard but at that age the are starting to resist authority. Mine had to dig a ditch, move bricks around, and yard work. they can do more then you think, make them have to work hard together and after a while they will want to just play together.

Answer 8

dont make empty threats, do what you say you will do (time out.spank, toy takeaway etc)they need to know that you are the one in control not them.

i only wish i could practice what i preach!

Answer 9

I can remember being six and fighting with my younger sister about everything.  Absolutely everything.  My parents weren't quite sure what to do with us and I wish they had been more in tune with us as children.  Young children generally don't respond to reason because reason is so often inconvenient and results in realizing that they have done something wrong.  No child likes reason.  And most children don't remember most of the things you tell them; it just depends on their development and personality, frankly.

Siblings fight.  It's natural law.  But children tend to respond when the adult, especially mommy or daddy, gets on their level and seems to really understand how horrible the situation is for them before blindly asserting authority.

I could be wrong, but I always wanted adults to understand me when I was that young.  I probably would have made an effort to get along with my sister if I felt Mom and Dad understood my feelings.

Answer 10

Fawn wrote exactly what I was thinking. (Y)

Answer 11

look up free Disney crafts there are some dandy things to make out of recycled items

Answer 12

Aiyo they are children so let them fight in a gentle way. It is life to hear children cries and laughters so do your best to iron out all the situation.

You know your children and when they a little older automatically they will be more matured. Important is to teach them virtues and good manners and attitudes

Answer 13

Verbal redirection and time-out. You get on the child's level and look them in the eyes. You explain what they have done wrong, why that behavior is unacceptable, and what a better alternative would be. If they still do not listen (and at this age they will need many reminders), remove them from the situation. If you use time out, it should be one minute for each year of the child's age. Also, keep them busy and amused; bored kids are ornery kids. I hope this helps.

Answer 14

Well actually, those ages can be really fun.   At least I thought so when my boys were young.

Recognize the will be fighting over things for many years yet.  Their spats will turn less silly.

You say, "What do you do when they don't respond to reason?"  They are TOO YOUNG to understand what "reason" is.  That's an adult concept.  And, it's to vague.

What you have to do is make up your mind about how to end the arguments fairly.  Then, give them each direct orders.  They need concrete answers from you.  Sometimes my youngest would just go ballistic with tantrums.  I would carry him up to his room and just tell him that he has to stay there until he can control his anger.  He understood what that meant.  Don't underestimate what your daughter thinks abot.  I never put a time on these time-outs.  I left it to him to decide when we was able to rejoin the rest of the family.  That way he knew HE had to make that choice to keep screaming or regain his composure.

I don't think giving repeated orders for them to do something works very well either.  It only frustrates YOU and THEY know it!  First of all, what is so important that it can't be left for a while until everyone is in a better mood?  If your husband is "losing it," he needs to grow up and assert himself as a parent.

You both need to be very consistant in your reactions to your children.  The kids need to count on you to behave in a paretaly manner and not get swept up in all their bickering.

YOU and your husband are their role models.  Your kids will learn better behavior if their parents behave in an adult way and don't start bickering just like the kids.

One really important thing to remember is that even at this age, if they have something THEY feel is important to them, YOU must listen without interupting.  And when I say listen, I mean turning off the TV even if it's a football game.  Your husband has to do that also.

If you start now, they will keep talking openly about things that trouble them way into their teen years.  And since they know you won't ridicule them, they will trust you.

Answer 15

One thing you don't want to do is choose sides, thus loving one child more than the other, because that will just make it worse.

  Try to be creative and fair,  always try to love them equally.  I know that is hard, but if you don't, the child winning with the upper hand will maybe even viciously try to finish the other one off...

   I have problems with my sister, still because of that, and ,no, I'm fed up with it and if they really want to treat me like that, I don't care if I ever see them again...

  I am grateful to my Stepfather for at least acknowleging what really happened, most of the time, and even telling people what he really heard or saw...The rest of my family can go to h**l, because everything and anything I say always falls on deaf ears, because they've already chosen their side decades ago...

  So.... my idea is: if it gets really serious, bring in a third party and see what they can access about it...