How do you discipline a back talker?

Question

I have a 9 year old who has recently developed the skill of back talking. It drives me crazy! She has something to say about everything. I don't feel like it's something I should just let go, but I'm trying to figure out the best way to deal with it! HELP!

Answer 1

no because it starts at that age as back talking at the age of 16 or 15 she will lie cheats and say bad words trust me one that one !!!

Answer 2

time out sit her facing a corner

every time she back talks

Answer 3

Have a talk with them and just explain that you are in chargw and they should respect that because one day they could wake up and you npt be there.......... but give them the time to express their feelings and tell you how they feel be calm :)

Answer 4

when you find the answer please let me know.

Answer 5

Every time the child back talks, simply walk away.  The kid will soon get the message.

Answer 6

I'm sure you'll get a bunch of people who will tell you to wash her mouth out with soap but I don't feel that is appropriate.

Kids that age are trying to assert themselves and gain some control over their lives. The best thing to do is offer lots of choices when possible and allow her to have a voice as long as it's respectful. Tell her you will hear what she she has to say and consider it ONLY if it's said in a respectful tone. If not, you won't listen.

That is what I do with my boys and they always change their tone quick if they want me to listen and consider what they have to say.

the more a child feels they have a say and choices the less they feel the need to back talk and argue with everything.

Changing a child's behavior isn't always about punishing the child. Sometimes you change a child's behavior by changing your own behavior or methods which in turn affects the way the child acts.

Answer 7

Pop'er in the mouth everytime until she gets the point. People may think thats harsh...whatever...put her in her place so the she stays there. I have a 9yr old girl as well and she tries to over talk people...I dont play that and will not tolerate it and until she get tired of being popped I will continue. Dont bust her lip or draw blood, but she'll get the point when it done...

Answer 8

Well..Since she's 9!..It would b a lil hard.Cuz at this age..children wanna dig up matters and give their opinions n stuff.

U should just ignore what she says and keep her busy with something or keep her under control

The best way would be to not try to argue with her..

:-)

Answer 9

Calmly explain that you're the adult in all situations, and she is the child in all situations. When YOU the parent, need the CHILD'S input advice or opinion, you will ask for it otherwise, keep the smart remarks in your head. My mom would call us on it. (Four teen girls at one time) Don't be snarky, its unbecoming. Don't be rude, its vulgar. And if we got too big for our britches she would whop us one even if we were 18. I still get threatened with a whop when I back talk and I married with kids of my own!

Answer 10

sit your child down and tell them that if it continues then you will have to start punishing her. you could send her to bed earlier or you could take away television or something they really likes!

Answer 11

mimic/copycat them back.  That gets so annoying, maybe it will stop it and she'll know how she sounds.

Answer 12

I had the same problem with my 10yr old.

And the Yahoo Community said a spanking.

So I would say a spanking.

Answer 13

Turn her over your knee, and let nature take it's course. Trust me, I have 3 girls, they are sweet as can be until around 8. If you give them leeway, they will run all over you. Spank that bottom NOW because once she's a teen, it will be to late!

Answer 14

I would set out some ground rules.  Explain what back talking is and why it is rude.  Let her know that it is unacceptable and that the consequences of it will be:

1) You will let her know that she has back talked and as a result of this she will be punished.

2) Choose an appropriate punishment eg a reflection room (any room in the house) and let her sit there for 5 minutes, if she comes out, don't say a word and put her back

3) Once she has been punished. Tell her you would like an apology.  Make sure you tell her you love her.

4) When she is in a better mood, maybe you could discuss with her ways that she thinks it is better to put across her opinions.  When she does this well, tell her she has and why.

5) Maybe when she is upset with you, you could have a box, where she can post her thoughts and that you will read it and try and resolve the problem together.

Answer 15

Have her repeat anything rude that she says in a more polite, respectful way.  Every time.

Answer 16

i hate the term "back talking" as it seems to imply kids ought not to get a chance to have their say when you've said something.  

in my family, the kids are welcome to state their opinions about anything, as long as those opinions are stated politely.  if they're not stated politely, and the behavior doesn't stop after a warning, they go to their rooms, as the rule in our house is that if you can't be polite then you need to be by yourself until you can.  when they're ready to apologize and speak politely, they're welcome to come back.

it seems to work for us, as we very rarely have any problem with any of the four kids.

Answer 17

Try a contract. Yes, it sounds weird, but it does work!  We've been going through counciling and parenting classes for the same issue.  What a contract is:  You list everything as detailed as possible that you expect out of your child and then list the consequences if they dont follow through. (talking back is 2 days with no phone, or trash is to be taken out daily or no going to friends for the day)  Have your child sign it along with yours and dad's signature.  

When he/she talks back, you say...2 days with no phone, and it stops right there!  Of course they are going to complain/moan/talk back after you say that...just ignore it.  Adventually they're going to get the point of understand consequences to actions.  If you continue to "talk back" to them when they do, you are just arguing with a child and it will get you no where but more frustrated.  Good luck!

Answer 18

you could ground them from something they love to do. If that don't work you could sit down talk to them. not let them have any friends over. I have a 10  year old that always  back talks me but later she will tell me sorry after we have a talk. sometimes you just have to talk it out  that always helps  maybe you just have to have nice little talk every day to work things out that at least that what I would do.

I let my !0 yr.daughter answer this for you.