How do you discipline an 18 month old!?

Question

Hi guys!

My daughter is 18 months old and is generally very well behaved. She understands to a point what no means, and will often respond well when I tell her not to do something.

Very early this morning I took her out to our neighbourhood for a walk around. She attempted to walk into the neighbours yard and I tried unsuccessfully to distract her and lead her out.

This resulted in her first ever tantrum! I had to carry her home, and she then ran up and down our hallway shouting NO NO NO NO.

I didn't really know the right thing to do, so I ignored her and about 2 minutes later she had calmed down and came over to me for a snuggle!

My question is... Was my reaction the correct one?

She is too little for a talk as to why she couldn't go where she wanted to.

Though I managed to remain calm, inside I was upset/angry/sad/distressed. I felt pretty helpless.

I'm a single Mom, so its all up to me, and the last thing I want is a bratty baby.

Any suggestions?

Answer 1

I agree with the others! You did exactly what I would have done. You left so that she understood that when she breaks the rules, she can't play anymore. Tantrums should be ignored, especially at this age. A " talking to " at the end of it all is NOT a bad idea at all. It doesn't have to be a long discussion about right and wrong. It can be as simple as " Mommy said no running in the neighbors grass. If you run in the grass when I asked you not to, we can't play anymore. I love you! Let's read a book". Don't dwell on the bad behavior for long. She understands far more than we know.

Good luck! I think you did a great job! Keep it up. Consistency is the key during these trying times.

Answer 2

Well, a smack on the rump and send her to her room until she is done cryin would work fine too. kids arent  stupid they learn quick.My son was diciplined (not beat) and he learned fine. And is now VERY well behaved

Answer 3

you still need to explain to her what she did wrong b/c she will do it again. She will learn, it is normal for a toddler to have a cry out

Answer 4

This is JUST the beginning! I'm a single mother too! My son is almost 22 months. His first big tantrum was around that age too. We were at a big childrens sale and i didn't let him run off and he went to the lady looking at stuff across the rackway and slapped her. I was SOOOOOO embarrassed! Then I said we were leaving and he threw himself on the floor and started screamin like somebody was beating him! I wanted to! lol. He's had many tantrums since then. And honestly, they're getting worse, only because he's old enough to know more about what he wants, but can't really communicate. Thats going to become the hurdle for you. We all go through it.

But you just have to take the child from the situation thats causing the tantrum to give them time to calm down. If you and your child have your own way of communicating, try to get her to tell you(by pointing or a specific noise or something) whats wrong. You'll work it out. Just stay strong mama! :-)

Answer 5

She is 18 months old, she is not going to understand logic and reasoning at this point.  She understands the words yes, but not the higher meaning behind them.  If she gets out of bounds you as the parent need to physically, take hold of her, get in her way, keep things out of her reach, keep her in bounds.  Ignoring a bit is one thing in the comfort of your own home but she was out of bounds, in the neighbor's yard, when she did it.  She understood that throwing the fit did not get her the attention she wanted but she did not get the lesson of not going into the neighbor's yard against your wishes.

Answer 6

Only one of my kids had tantrums and I used the same technique as you. They grow out of it. Continue to stay cool. She was not naughty. She just did not understand why she could not have what she wanted. You do not want your child to be too passive as they need to have some willpower to hold their own in the world. My daughter who had tantrums is now the most successful of my children. It was awful while they lasted especially when she had them in public but they did not last long. Also losing their temper can be pretty scary for a child so give her as much reassurance as you can. Do talk to her as you don't know how much she will understand. Try "Darling, I know you really wanted to go into that garden and I wanted to be able to let you but it is not our garden so I can't. Its OK to be upset about it. Have a cry and when you are ready, come back to me for a cuddle." Only if you let her get her own way when she should not will she become a brat, Have confidence. Your instincts are right.

Answer 7

Two Words: Beating stick!

Nah just kidding. You should take away some kinda reward she usually gets till she acts better

Answer 8

Ah, the terrible twos....lol.

You did the right thing. Ignore tantrums. When she doesn't behave on walks tell her if she doesn't do/or stop doing you have to go home, even if it means  you carry her.

You can try a time out area, like they do on Nanny. Whatever you do stay consistent and don't give in to tantrums or they'll throw more of them. If they learn you mean what you say it'll stop sooner.

Answer 9

What a wonderful age..lol umm your hitting the terrible 2's and it will be a nightmare (sorry but have to be honest). The feelings you had absolutely NORMAL. I still get upset when my 5 year old throws a tantrum honestly I spoiled her way to much let her get away with way to much and now she will not take no for an answer. You need to just start laying down the law like now because it will only get worse...Let your daughter cry let her scream as long as she isnt doing any harm to herself(like hitting her head against the wall) but normally when my kids throw a tantrum they wont even let me try to calm them so I just place him or her in their bed and tell them when they are ready to come out without crying then be my guest...I hope you learn how to relax when the tantrums happen and good luck with discipline

Answer 10

Welcome to the first of the many, many, many tantrums you will go through with your little one.

You will have to find out what works for you.  Ignoring tantrums worked for me as they are usually just after the attention.  

Even at that age they completely understand what you are saying though - so once she has settled down let her know that the way she acted was unacceptable and every time she does it Mummy is going to not listen to her.

I put my little boy in his room to have his tantrums as it puts him off cause no one is there to listen or watch him.

Good Luck - you will be having lots of practice on this over the next year or so........

Answer 11

Yes ignoring bad behaviour is a good start.. as for not being able to explain why ... you have it wrong.. start explaining now.. "Mummy said to stay with me" i would also start time outs.. i think 18months is a good age to start... My daughter is 2 yrs 5 months... and i've been disciplining her before 1 year old. She's well behaved has her moments but listens to me. Now its to the point where i will say something once... if i repeat she knows she better listen.

Answer 12

you really need to try time out for a minute and a half. just pick a chair and set her down in it and set a timer if she gets up no words just set her down, the minutes start over everytime they get up . follow with a huge and apology to you from them