How do you discipline an 8 year old who simply fails to understand the authority of a parent?

Question

How do you discipline an 8 year old who simply fails to understand the authority of a parent?

Answer 1

I have an 8yr old as well, who is also having the same issues with authority....i have enrolled him in karate and set a limit on certain things he enjoys.....like no video games during the school week and also n computer unless needed for school....I am hoping these steps will help my son....try a few things to see what works best for you ....

For all those answers of smacking them and locking them in a closet should be ashamed of themselves !!

Answer 2

Maybe you just aren't showing the right type of authority. yelling and having fits doesn't teach children anything except that they re parent is crazy. I work with alot of children and hate when parents cant see the fault lies with them. If a child fails to understand -you've failed to teach. Try remembering your dealing with a child and switch your approach. Calmly and thou roughly explain what the kid did wrong- he wont understand if you just say "respect my authority". Respect is given after its received.

Answer 3

The only way to discipline an 8 year old is to be consistent and don't make idle threats.  If you're going to punish him specifically [i.e., in your room for the rest of the day with no TV, no video...computer, etc.] then you best better do it.  Idle threats and punishments that are not being followed through are the reasons why most children don't behave.

Answer 4

What's up with the Uncle Jesses and Danny Tanners?

But yeah, as for the question:

When they do something GOOD, reward them (but not always). This way, they'll associate reward with good behavior and therefore try to reinforce it. For example, reward when your child listens to you and cleans the room. It's called positive reinforcement and is better than punishment alone.

But that doesn't rule out punishment. You just can't avoid it sometimes.

Answer 5

simply stop buying whatever he or she wants and only buy the necessities. stop all the fun activities and take away what he or she loves the most. sit your child down and explain why everything is being done. if that doesn't work you can always set up a jail tour with your local authorities so he or she can see the life of people who does not respect authority. take  them also to a homeless shelter where they can see what a good life they have and things can be worse.

Answer 6

FIZZYB, you said exactly what I was thinking:

"They need to be SHOWN authority in order to respect it.

I still believe in good old fashioned spanking... Not abusively, but enough to be uncomfortable... Children need to be shown that there is a consequence for their actions.

Also taking away priviledges is important. And not for a couple hours. Take it away for a week and see if they get the message.

A child needs to be shown early on that they need to respect authority of their parents OR gaurdians."

Answer 7

Find out what their currency is.  Video games? Friends? Music?  Take those away and allow them to earn it.  Don't give them anything else.  Don't allow anything.  Make them earn all of their Privileges.

Answer 8

stop trying to boss your kid around and leave them alone.. your just there parent you cant dictate there life it wont work so back off kids have the power these days and theres nothing you can do about it

Answer 9

In all honesty, you need to have started with consistent discipline long before he reached the age of eight.

Perhaps some books about effective parenting and discipline might help.  It's hard to know what to tell you based on the limited amount of information given.

Answer 10

u smack em once...

if they dont listen, smack em again

rinse and repeat

Answer 11

you take out your strap

Answer 12

Parenting is a lot of conditioning for both the adult and child. You need to pick a punishment you deem appropriate like no dessert for whining or taking away play time for a temper tantrum and you need to stick to it. No amount of crying, screaming or violence should deter you- you are in charge, not the kid. It takes a while for some kids to realize that their behavior is directly related to their punishments, and will do their best to make you crack but if you stand firm and explain to them why they are being punished and how disappointed you are that they can't be a big girl or boy, it will sink in soon enough. No kid likes to have their favorite things taken away and it hurts when mom or dad says they're upset with them. They won't think you don't love them- once they understand that certain behabior is not appropriate or tolerated, they will behave and it won't be a matter of mommy/daddy doesn't like me anymore. Its a matter of mommy/daddy doesn't like it when I do or say this and I'll get punished if I do it. Good luck!

Answer 13

this seems to be a growing problem. spare the rod and spoil the child. if you don't wanna take that route why teach him the consequences of his actions. if he behaves you reward his good behavior and if he starts to act up ignore him.

my father has put foot to *** on many occasions. i know i deserved it. there is nothing wrong with a good spanking.

Answer 14

Ground them for a week with no TV, MP3 player, computer time (Unless it's for homework). Tell them that everytime they show disrespect they will be grounded.

Answer 15

at 8 its tough love time(lol) everything he does wrong needs to be punished. even if the punishment exceeds the issue he talks back send him to the room for ten mins. he does it again take away his video game, kinda like a warning punishment and than a big one. but remember when he does something good to reward it it he gets good grade on a paper bring him to do something. its like makeing him want to do good things and making him scared to act up not scared of you and in the end you are bigger than him if he fights going to his room stand by his door and dont let him out if he screams at you for takeing his games tell him your going to trow them away and if that doesnt do it than do it. the last thing you need is your son to be the bad kid of the naborhood

Answer 16

Response to Danny The Rod spoken of in Proverbs is "The Word of God"  Now to answer the question...Good question!  Not sure about a good answer but taking away privileges such as TV, video games, time with friends.  Perhaps the child needs that extra time spent with you.spend some quality time with them to show you love your child and then have a talk over ice cream telling the child how much you care for him/her enough to give the guidance the child needs since you are the parent  he/she needs to listen and obey because you only want what is best for your child.    Another thing that may work is to flip it around and say...You are going to be the parent today, you get to take on all my responsibilities and I get to be in your shoes for today.   Have the child  cook, clean, change diapers and you take the day off!  

Answer 17

Ground him or spank him or lock him in his room or ignore him.

Answer 18

wait till they are older

unless you act now prepare for the ride of h**l later

Answer 19

Time out, essays on why he/she should respect authority, taking away privileges, grounding, talking to them on their level about it.

Answer 20

Did you cement your authority from the beginning? or do you give in every time he/she cries that they want something? You have to be firm and strict with them -your- the adult and -your- the one in control. Your the adult, adults don't negotiate with children, what you say goes. That only works thought if you don't ever give in to their little fits, warn them that you will spank them or put them in time out and follow through with it if they keep it up. That way they learn that there are consequences for their actions.

Answer 21

You start out teaching them discipline when they are toddlers.  You set rules and boundaries at that age and you don't change them.  You don't argue, and you don't negotiate, you stand firm on the rules don't give in to whining or tantrumss.  If this method had been taught from toddler hood there wouldn't be any problems now.  So you have to start form "scratch" as they say, setting rules, guidelines and boundaries.  Time outs work very well but at this stage you will more than likely have to reinforce them over and over and over .

Answer 22

They need to be SHOWN authority in order to respect it.

I still believe in good old fashioned spanking... Not abusively, but enough to be uncomfortable... Children need to be shown that there is a consequence for their actions.

Also taking away priviledges is important. And not for a couple hours. Take it away for a week and see if they get the message.

A child needs to be shown early on that they need to respect authority of their parents OR gaurdians.

Answer 23

You do not state whether this is your child or if you are a teacher or for how long this problem has been going on.

First, ask yourself, what kind of parent (or authority figure) you are, and what sort of relationship you have had with this child up to this point.

Some parents are totally ineffective.  They tell the child, "You're gonna get it!" until the phrase has no meaning.  Their vague threats and unfulfilled punishments fall on deaf ears, when a parent does not follow through.

Most important, is explaining why the child should be (or should not be) doing whatever he/she is doing.

Then, they need an ultimatum.  "If you continue to do this, you will be assigned sentences to write."  THEN, if they refuse to cooperate, sit them down at the dining room table and don't let them up until they have completed the sentences.

Some adults are inconsistent, too.  Kids need to know that they cannot run in the house, or yell.  This needs to be enforced every time.  Not just when you are at your wit's end.

Being a parent is not an endurance test, it should be an enjoyable time for both parents and kids, wherein the parents teach the children social skills, acceptable behavior,  good character, a love of learning, respect for life and love of Creator.

iIf you can fill in some missing details about this problem, we can offer more suggestions.

Answer 24

It's going to take you doing the work. I mean the reason that the child doesnt respect the parent is because the parent made the mistake of not demanding respect in the first place.  You must set specific boundries, explain what is expected. You need to set into place a reward system for when the child demonstrates positive behaviour and consequenses for when he or she isn't following the rules. Positive renforcement is just as important as punishment. The first step explain what is expected, second explain consequenses and priveledges, third be consistent. The third will be the hardest. But, if you don't stick with it then it will all be in vain. The child will mess up over and over, stick to your guns. After a week or two of seriousness you should see some improvement in your child.

Answer 25

It sounds like this 8 year old wants to be treated like an adult, but it isn't ready to act like one. If they want to ignore you like a stubborn 3 year old, put them in the corner or let them go to bed early and if they want to own up to responsibilities and behave, then they can enjoy the priviledges that a young adult would have.  

Answer 26

i TOTALLY understand; what makes it harder is when my husband and i don't agree on how to take care of the problem...grrr.  it's nice to know i'm not the only one with this problem though.

Answer 27

Are you sure that he fails to "understand the authority of a parent"?  Children are very smart and will do what they know they can get away with or do things to test their limits.  IF you set clear limits and clear and consistent  consequences ( and of course follow through) then the child will push less and and follow more.

Answer 28

Why are they like that now? Have they been allowed to do whatever they want? A lot of times it's because the parent isn't consistent with punishment. But if it is an extreme case, there are conditions like oppositional defiant disorder that can be treated. Just make sure if you do get them checked out by a doctor, find one that specializes in child behavior like a child psychiatrist or something. Some say they do, but they're just a regular doctor. Ask around at pharmacies or if you can find a support group for children with issues(add, adhd, etc) ask the parents there.

Answer 29

Proverbs 13:24

He who spares his rod hates his son,

But he who loves him disciplines him promptly.

Answer 30

Good old fashioned beating is the best bet... You have to train em like a dog... until they learn discipline... they shouldn't feel good