How do you ditch a friend of 13 years, who considers you a best friend?

Question

This friend of mine went to the same first grade classroom (her mom was the teacher) and we have kept in touch this long. Except...now she has become extremely condescending, assuming I don't know what she's talking about. She talks solely about herself and when I try to bring up anything, even after she asks how I'm doing, she only says "Yikes" and plows on about herself again. She thinks a lot about herself and goes on about how much her friends adore and idolize her.

(Think of a woman who acts like the Pope with an ego.)

I've ignored her calls, emails and attempts to reach me through friends for four months but I don't think I can put her off for much longer. She knows where I live, and due to some extremely inflammatory comments from her last time we spoke, I think I might tear her eyes out if she tries to visit.

How do I cut this off once and for all?

Answer 1

If you ignore her she will only want you more.  you know people are kind of like dogs.  And she is clearly exhibiting dog behavior. When you ignore a dog, they try to get your attention.  So do what ceasar does - tell her to sit and follow the rules like the other dogs.  Or you can growl at her!!! :)

Answer 2

Wow. I had the same situation in  high school. The truth is... be blunt and brutal about it.  Otherwise, she's probably not going to take you seriously. When her head is so stuck up her butt, then being brutal is possibly the only way to go about handling the situation. Maybe she will come around after a while, or maybe not, but your words will forever stick with her. So make them meaningful. Good luck :)

Answer 3

1. talk to her, but not that often

2. tell her off

or tell her how you feel about your friendship

HOPE THIS HELPS

Answer 4

Friendship is like teamwork.

Tell her how you feel, and if she understands, then she will change for you two to stay friends. If she doesn't care, and just keeps boasting about herself, then she is obviously not a very good person. Someone should never ignore a friend. If she doesn't care about your feelings, then tell her that you can't be friends with someone so full of themselves.  

Answer 5

wow ur cruel. how can u treat a friend like dat? u heartless females i tell ya. whats wrong with u? ur so selfish. poor thing shes prolly gonna kill herself cuz of u. will u be happy then? when u got blood on ya hands? ur the 1 wit da ego from what it sounds like. you need to grow up. the world does not revolve around just u. stop being cruel. give her attention. she knew you all her life and ur gonna end it like that? ur a part of her life now. dont just leave her like that. have a heart.

Answer 6

Do you want to end the friendship altogether? or do you want to fix it, and help her become a better person?

I would come clean to her. Tell her, calmly,  that you feel like she doesn't care enough about you, and that you want her to try to be a better listener. Tell her you are here for her, but she needs to be there for you as well. Say she is great, but she needs to tone down her love of herself, and learn to love others.

With time, she could change.

If she doesn't improve, talk to her again and say that if she isn't willing to change, you don't see how you can be friends.

Make sure everything is non-hostile. If things don't work out, wish her the best, tell her you were glad she was part of your life for a time, and move on.

Good Luck!!

Answer 7

In this type of situation, it's best to be direct.  Tell her that she's coming off as condescending, and if you can't work things out, then tell her outright that you don't want to associate with her anymore.

Answer 8

simply tell her, it may not be easy but if you really feel tht way tell her you should go your separate ways (btw, this might cause her to talk about you and try to turn your other friends against you) you know what i realize.. dont listen to me.. just uh, fade her out. you're doin a godd job, if she comes tell everyone in your house tht you're not home

Answer 9

just go up and insult her or file a restraining order a or just call the police and say that she has been stalking you and wont leave you alone  

Answer 10

She obviously can't take your subtle hints. You are going to have to tell her that you are not interested in being friends with her. Tell her straight up that you find her to self absorb. Then walk away or hang up on her before she has a chance to say anything.

Answer 11

Since you obviously won't be able to get through to her in person, since she is so focused on herself, then maybe the next best thing would be to email her and tell her that you have outgrown each other and don't feel you could be friends anymore. Then let her know to not reply and drag things out because you have made your final decision about it and then wish her luck with her life.  "Try" to keep it on the pleasant side and not name calling and such. Hopefully this works out for you. I had a similar friend at one time, we haven't spoken for 20 years and that is fine by me. Good luck.  

Answer 12

Write down in great detail your reasons for avoiding her and make copies. Give her one. There might be something very hurtful and painful going on in her life to make her act like this. Try and find out. She may be asking for help by being nasty and mean.   8~)

Answer 13

ignoring her wont help because she will want to know why.

just simply tell her "i can't be friends with you if your like this. all you talk about is yourself and that doesnt make you a good friend"

or words that you feel comfortable with.

good luck

(:

Answer 14

You don't abandon friends. You let them be where they're at. If it's not where you're at, then remove yourself from their presence gracefully

Answer 15

I cut someone who was a best friend at one point in my life.   If you can't tell her in person then write her a small letter in nice paper - not email - saying how you appreciate the good times yoiu spent together and so on and then go into  her being a friend of a season and you wish to be able to reminice with her as time goes by but for now you have to move on because you find that you no longer have as much in common in before and let her know that you hold her dearly in your thoughts.

Answer 16

dont b a pu**y tell her off

tell her its over and dont

sweat it..ya dig??  

Answer 17

this is tough, I would suggest telling her how you feel. but she knows where you live. Is moving away an option? If not, hmm do you have a true friend you can trust to tell her off for you? Or just continue to not be in the same places that she is at....Don't answer the door if you know it's her, not worth going to jail for..

Good Luck.....

edit: could be she is  a narcissist, and she may never get a clue....Have worked with some, very hard to get rid of.Kind of have to keep igoring them and hope they latch onto someone else...Sad but true...(hmm introduce her to some one just like her, might help) sorry you are having to end this relationship, but you have to go on with your life too...

Answer 18

Okay, I have gone through the exact same thing. See, I have this friend named Austin & we were friends all through elementary ok, but then in seventh grade i think i was like 13/12? He constantly called everyday every hour pretty,much. Even, when my dad told him I was taking a shower, doing homework exc. he would still call saying "is he done,is she done?!" I used to get SOOOOOOOOOOO pissed. And then one day my dad told me i had to handle this. He was, getting tired of him calling frequently. So I finally answered the phone for the first time in pretty much 5/6 months and, i told him that i really did like being friends with him but, i also like to have a little time own my own and, that it would be nice if he fewered the amount of phone calls to may'be twice a week. It worked out perfect. I really didn't want to do it at first because, you know i didnt want to hurt his feelings or whatever. But the relief was amazinggg! lol so, may'be try talking to that girl like i did with Austin. :) i hope i helped!

Answer 19

Just tell her how you feel, and what you think that she thinks about herself and also that she needs to lighten up. If she does not understand then to h**l with her. Then she may also try to reverse it back on you and say something like, "Well we have been friends for like forever so you should know how I am."

Answer 20

simply tell her that you are no longer friends. if she wants an explanation, just tell her you both have grown a lot over the years, and what you have become is no longer compatible with who she is.

otherwise just continue ignoring her and eventually she'll get the hint. although you may have to deal with some drama until it settles in.