How do you encourage a stepfather and stepchild to love each other (Age4)

Question

I know stepparent relationships can be a minefield. I am seeing someone seriously and I have a child from another relationship. what can I do to encourage their relationship to be good and not one where there is a wicked-stepparent and a resented child.

Answer 1

Well, it all depends on their personalities. If your man is good with kids, or a genuinely good person, you don't have to do anything but let them be around each other.

Good Luck!

For more advice, go to http://www.getintimate.org

Answer 2

You've just got to give it a bit of time. At 4 he or she is young enough that they can love him. My mum and my stepdad colin got together when i was two. I love colin he's been there for as long as i can remember and he's as much of a dad to me as anyone elses dad is to them. Just be careful not to want your guy to not be seen as the wicked stepparent to much because it is better for both of them if when the child does something wrong he feels that he can tell them of the same as you. Because your kids young you can both take a role in there life the rows, encouragement the fun the games. It would be different if your child was a teenager because then they'd resent the new man trying to tell them what they can and can't do. But you and your guy can both be respected and loved because your kids still little. Try to do fun stuff together as a family. Get them both having fun together.  xxxxx =)

Answer 3

that has to be done from one family member to another. whoever your in a relationship has to show the inititive that he is with you and he loves your child like his own. So that the relatives dont feel like your pushing your child off on them. Your guy has to take the child to them without you and show genuine love and concern for this child. there is nothing you can do to forge that bond, your boyfriend has to do it. They wont take you serious. but coming from him they are more likely to be receptive

Answer 4

Dont. I will never love my step mum..

All step parents are twats.

x

Answer 5

I' just did a childcare course so i might be able to help.

If you want to develop a good bond it will take time but your child is young enough so it will happen. Taking the kid to activities that interests her and joining in the activities with them is always good. The child sees that he's interested and wants to spend time with her. Just playing and talking all the time helps and gradually a bond will form. As long as the child is centre of attention he/she will be fine. A child bonds with people quickly. At the nursery when the new children start I ask them a lot of open questions which encouages them to answer whcih allows me to see there interests and what activites they'll want to do.

Just spending time will help

Answer 6

You can't do anything really, just empower the person you are in a relationship with.  Let the child know that that person loves them also, but also is like a parent figure and can/will tell them what to do etc to keep them safe.  Also have them do stuff together... go to the zoo as a "family" etc.. so that child knows that he is important in your life... stuff like that, hugs and praise also help.  

Answer 7

Introduce the child slowly. Talk to him about mummys friend. Take him on trips together and let them forge a friendship.

Answer 8

You can't do anything to force this relationship, but you can encourage it.  Present plenty of opportunities for the two of them to have fun together.  A 4 year old will attach relatively quickly, so the issue is the guy you are dating.

You should take it into very heavy consideration if they don't seem to be bonding.  Remember, your child is your first priority, if your boyfriend doesn't fit the void that is missing in BOTH your lives, then you need to move on, before everyone gets hurt...

Answer 9

u cant they will just learn to love each other if u try at push them it will probably make their relationship worse