How do you explain that cutting yourself is bad?

Question

my friend is cutting herself. obviously, i've told her to stop being stupid and starting thinking. but she is giving me these answers i don't know how to respond to. can u give me a good fact that'll make her stop?

ps: she is cutting herself bc her mom is getting drunk...alot...badly

Answer 1

Just ask her if she really has control over it.  She'll probably claim yes, but it's easy to point out the inconsistency.  Point out that people claim to have control over their gambling, smoking,  and yes even drinking, but often it becomes obvious that they don't have control.  It's a Compulsion!

Try to point out that what she hates seeing her mother do; compulsive, destructive behavior, is what she is doing with cutting.

And tell her that like everyone else on the planet with a serious bad habit, trying to quit or "control it" by herself is just setting herself up for failure.

Good luck, this isn't easy and may take a while.  She needs a good friend.  And depending on her age, really consider asking your parents for help.  It's not a betrayal - it's taking care of someone who needs taking care of.  Those scars will be a burden for a long long time.

Answer 2

julie, i think you should really stress that she go to see a licensed counselor.  obviously, and you already know this, but cutting harms you physically, and that, in and of itself, is just not healthy both physiologically and psychologically.  i have such a heart for girls who struggle with that sort of thing.  please encourage her to get counseling...sounds like you are a really good friend!  :)

Answer 3

i don't think you should tell her she is wrong, or try to prove it to her. she already knows and she will resent you for it.

You should be supportive of her. Tell her whenever she feels like cutting herself to call you or someone she's close to instead, to help her relieve her feelings by talking about them. and when she does come to you encourage her. praise her for not cutting herself and picking up the phone to talk.

be nice to her. sympathy will help. and especially don't argue with her under ANY circumstances when she gives you an excuse. Tell her you see her point and it's a good one, but would she consider this alternative. and give her an alternative to consider.

* i used to be an alcoholic and all of my friends' good intentions meant nothing to me. I had to want to stop drinking. you have to make your friend want to stop cutting herself. it has to be her idea or it will be a temporary fix, and she will just start hiding it better.  

  

Answer 4

cutting oneself is a very poor excuse for coping with a problem and in this case, the problem is quite severe.

  there is only one thing holding her down, and that is her mother's drunkenness. what she is doing, is just creating EVEN MORE problems for herself, all in the excuse to relieve the leading issue.

  tell her that if she could talk to her mother, and give her the strength to be brave enough to face her, and tell her mother she is uncomfortable with the situation, than perhaps her mother will see the error of her ways and stop. for her daughter's sake.

  once her real problem, which is her mother, is cleared, than hopefully her coping will no longer be nessascary.

  hope this helps! and good luck!

   ~Jessica

Answer 5

if you told us her answers, maybe we could give you some better ammo...

i'll try to find some stats, but I agree that your friend should seek professional help immediately.