How do you explain yourself?

Question

when you are in court and you have a bad spell of explosive diarea.

Answer 1

Well.. all you do is ask to be excused from that area and that it's an emergency.  Most cases... you will be able to leave. But if that happens.. you may ask if someone could replace you for the remailning of the day. And you want to make sure that you mention , your reason for leaving  is " personal".

Answer 2

Tell the judge you want to go to jail.

Answer 3

You calmly tell the judge that you're sick to your stomach and ask for a delay in the procedings until you're feeling better.  Otherwise, you ask to be excused every few minutes and rush to the bathroom