How do you feel about discipline?

Question

Do your children listen to you the first time you tell to do or not to do something? Do you have to repeat yourself umpteen times and then end up giving in to them?

Answer 1

Kids will always have their outbursts when they feel they can't get their way. It's healthy, thats how kids are born, nature makes them selfish in order for them to survive.

Disapline is just us parents teaching our children how to behave civil and respect what is around them. There are different techniques to apply this.

I use a firm but calm voice when they start getting whiny, annoying or angry. I go down to their level and tell them that they cant (get what they want) because (insert reason here) and if they repeat their complaint or lash out in anyway, they have a punishment on their shoulders, such as a time out, confiscation of a privaledge or something else important to them or a space down the reward chart. See, my kids know that if they start screaming after i say NO, then they will have a "miserable" punishment experience AND they wont get the result they want (getting what they want, when they want it) in the end anyway, so what's the point?

A common instant would be my 10 year old son asks for a chocolate bar. I say no, we are going to have dinner later on. He says PLEASE! hoping that i'll say "Hmm, well okay, as long as you stop yelling" After he says that I say Don't ask again please Oscar.

He knows that he'll have a privaledge taken away, NOT for wanting a chocolate bar, but for arguing with me and potentially causing more stress and annoyance, IF he carries on.

In between these times i stay on good terms with my kids. They know that acting out doesnt recieve attention but being a sweetie and respecting eachother does. My kids respect me and my husband because we give them good time and attention and always try to be fair (of course no one is always ever happy). They also respect because we teach them why they need to behave and the good impact it has on their lives. But of course also because they know mum and dad are boss, and carrying on wont be worth it. =]

Answer 2

Repeat myself?? Ummm.....yeah only 15 times a day!! LOL  My kids are so stubborn, it's like talking to a brick wall. But, no, I do NOT give in and yes they DO get disciplined if they misbehave!

Answer 3

My children useally do but sometimes they have a bit of a hard time understanding but Samantha I have to tell twice more then PIx

Answer 4

I am 21  and a mother to a 6 yr old step son an twins 11 months old.. The rules in my house are to be listened to... if my step son dont listen he gets all punishments an if all those fail he gets a spanking an although to some i may get basjed for that i dont care.. its my way of parenting... i do all i can before  i resort to a spanking i talk to him as a mom an a friend an i stand him in corner i take toys away spankinig is the last thing i turn too... an it will be the same with my twins. There is some giving in like if he dont got school like now its summer an i feel like he should be able to stay up a bit later... but he has a bed time for it but no later an i am strict with eating an table  manners if you dint eat whats on you plate you do not get dessert... an elbows off table say may i please be excused an ect.. its been hard with a step child i hope my boys will be easier since they are mine.. but i always get tols how well behaved my step son is!!! an thats a good feeling he rarely gets a spanking only if he did something really bad an he knew he shouldnt of!!! but you cant give in or your kids may be the kids who you see in the store screaming bc they didnt get a toy!! An they will walk all over you an you will be the weak parent that they come to when the other says no or you will be the type of parent whos child talks bad about mom like oh shes cool she dont even know whats going on!! you gotta stop soon or they will figure it out an take advantage!!

Answer 5

if u tell them to do something like 5 times and they dont listen u should hit them. like in the butt

Answer 6

I will repeat myself once in case my son didn't hear or understand me.  That second option you gave doesn't count as discipline.

Answer 7

i have to tell my son like a thosand times to stop and he still wont listen its anoying lol.

Answer 8

I have to repeat myself sometimes, but I have noticed that when I say please, he listens the first time (usually). Kids like to feel respected too.

Answer 9

Giving in should never be an option.  You are the parent, you need to exert control over the situation.  If a child doesn't do what he or she is told, there should be appropriate consequences.  The punishment should fit the crime.  

Some households have a chart of rules the children are expected to abide by.  The chart can also spell out what the child may expect by way of punishment for not obeying the rules.

Answer 10

Unless it's a dangerous situation. I will give direction once, I may repeat myself once, and then correct them if I don't get the proper response.

There will never be any 'giving in' in my house, I definitely don't play that game.

Answer 11

i think if you have a good stern voice, they will listen. If they don't listen the first time, take something away so they know you mean business. Never give in to their screams and cries, because then you're feeding into the problem

Answer 12

If I have to repeat myself more than twice I slightly raise my voice because by then I can tell he is just ignoring me and it gets his attention.

Answer 13

First, to understand discipline you have to understand that not all people are alike; so all forms of discipline will not work the same on each child. Of my eight one acted as though he never heard anything. But when time came to do something it got done. So I learned not to stress myself out yelling at him. I said what I had to say and left it for a while - I didn't need the ego boost of seeing him jump up and run to do my will.

Another, one of the girls (and there are four of each) always did just what she was told - until she hit a certain age, then the sparks flew for a while. Wouldn't do anything she knew I wanted done, so that required a different tactic.

I'm not a spanker - which was never to say I wouldn't and they knew it. But for me understanding that they were people, not little slave robots, helped the most. I kept them in church, still do with the five at home, listened to thier side when they didn't agree with a decision, and stuck to my decision when I felt it best or safest. I've got a good crew and I thank God evey day for them!

Answer 14

when my son is old enough, yes discipline will be happening.

Answer 15

i treat my kids and the kids i care for the same way i treat my dog... i say Sit they need to sit or i make them sit... i ask once.... a dog dosent here you if your Sit sit sit i said sit sit sit st FIDO SIT i said.. come on SIT... niether will a kid..

i also treat Kids with respect.. i say please and thank you and i ask will you please ... they do something good i tell them so.. i took my dog on fun trips when it was just us so i take the kids on fun trips ....  they know life is more fun when were all happy.. and they KNOW not to blame others for there mistakes... if i ask that they pick p there games and they dont and i have to do it.. game will disapear same thing in life... you dont do you part of a job you get fired...

my neice was with a girl who wanted her to help her steal from a store.. she said NO, Becuse my aunt would KILL me before the cop could send her to jail and One shouldnt steal at all becuse we didnt earn it and its not right to take things you dont deserve."  then she came and told me everything and asked for help in dealing with her friends cronic stealing issues....

a open clear based relatinship with clear consaquinces for actions both good and bad. lead to a happy life all a round with no fear of confesing a situation asking for help. i have even had kids confess to actions BEFORE i found out they had done wrong when they have sucumed to peer presure... granted the "punishment" is less of a issue in thoses times with a talk of why did they sucome will they be stronger int he future... they tend to get a extra chore/no tv then anything more when they come clean ... Truth will set you free is the motto i set in the kids

EDIT: Its a Wolf Pack thing there can only be one Leader once a dog undertands your in charge and wont back down they lisen to you and behave in the manner in witch you want them to... you cant beat them into summision only stand up as your right to lead a beated dog is a misrable dog and can turn on you if you misstreat it.. you have to give it the repect it deserves in the plac it holds in the totem pole of your pack....  Children work the same way.. im in charge but i respect your place in our pack as a contrbuting member

Answer 16

My kids do what I ask ..when I adopt the clint eastwood whisper and  squinty eye contact

Answer 17

RULE #1: discipline should never be confusing to a parent

My 4 yr old likes to play my husband and I off against each other so that is our number 1 rule in our house.

Answer 18

children are not meant to be controlled. they are here to learn... from you. if you hit, they will learn to hit. if you yell, they will learn to yell. if you respect them, they will learn how to respect. they are kids and don't know how to behave yet. I'm sure you know plenty of adults who still don't know how to behave. YES! we have to repeat at times, we are teachers and our students sometimes take time to learn their life lessons. they will learn what you teach them. try not to get to frustrated and just keep working with them. whats your ultimate goal? to have your kid listen now and resent you later or have them grow to be a well adjusted functioning adult?

Answer 19

I found that starting as early as possible treat them like people not babies, respect their views and needs, lead by example, explain why you want them to do something, answer their questions, give them your time. Can be hard but for me it paid dividends.