How do you feel about mixing children -biological and adopted in one family?

Question

My husband and I have one baby and one on the way. This might be the last baby we can have biologically. Do you think it causes problems to adopt children when you have biological children already? Do you love them the same?

Answer 1

I see no problem in it as long as both parents love all the kids equally regardless how they came to be in the family.  If able one day I’d like to have both.

I am 1 of 4 kids and the only adoptee. I never felt treated differently then my brothers. I actually think I got a bit spoiled for being the only girl and youngest child.

Bun in the oven – I think you feelings are naturally. Many parents whether their first child is adopted or natural. When they end up having a 2nd child again natural or adopted they probably question if they can love another child as much as their first. However love expands and grows. Congrats btw

Answer 2

I have 3 girls and adopted 3 girls.. They all get along and I love them all equally. Most of the time I don't remember that their adopted and don't treat them any different then my biological children. I think it is a great Idea to mix biological and adopted children together.

Answer 3

Colorful Rainbow

Answer 4

If you even have to ASK this question, adoption is not for you.  I promise you, your kids would resent you.  All of them.

Answer 5

Our biological son was thirteen when we adopted two children (10 and 5, at the time).  There were some adjustments all around.  My 13 year old had to go from being "spoiled only child" to "Big Brother" overnight and even though he was with us throughout the process, he needed a lot of attention and support.  

Similarly, our children from adoption had never had a big brother before, so there were some additional adjustments there.

Neither my husband nor I have ever had the feeling that we don't love all of our children equally.  None of my children have ever voiced or expressed some concerns that our love in unequal.  

So, I think it can work.  But be attentive to the needs of both your child(ren) from adoption and your child(ren) from birth.  

Best of luck.

Answer 6

i had a friend that had two biological sisters, and three adoptive sisters (i guess her mom wanted a BIG family..)

but besides the fact that everyone had to share a room, it seemed to work out great.  whenever i went over there everyone mostly got along with eachother. i didnt even know some were adopted until a few years after i knew her.

Answer 7

I think it all depends on how young the children are because if they are young they won't know the difference it would just be another kid to play with for the other children. Only when they get older do they notice the difference. You really do care for them the same my grandfather adopted my dad and he was always treated like a son. Later when his wife passed from cancer he remarried and his new wife had three children of her own and they all were pretty close like brothers and sisters. It just depends on how you chose to treat them. My husband has three grown children with kids, but they may not be my biological kids, but I love my grandchildren like my own biological grandchildren. I'm the one that always rides roller coasters and plays hide-go-seek with them. Even if I have two biological children of my own they are just more fun when they all get together. Have fun it's nothing to be scared about if it's something you really want to do.

Answer 8

Interesting question. I also wonder how children feel when some are biological & some adopted. My opinion is you are a family no matter what the circumstances & each child is a special part that makes a family unique. I'll answer with what experience I have which is opposite from your situation. My hubby & I adopted from foster care after years of un-explained infertility issues. Our son is now 2 years old and I just found out I am pregnant! I worry I can't love another baby as much as I love my adopted son. He was placed with us at 5 days old & had abusive & neglectful parents. I feel extremely special that God chose me to be his mother & the bond I have with him is so strong I can't imagine loving my biological child more than my adopted one. I guess I will have to wait 7 more months to find out...but I imagine each child you have will be special & you will love it no matter how you became a mother. God Bless you & Best wishes!

Answer 9

I have five children, two biological children and three adopted children. I have not had any more problems, than a parent with all biological children or all adopted children.

This past Christmas, my older two biological son's flew their younger adopted brother to Chicago and treated him to a Bulls game, and they are planning to make this an annual event

Yes, I can say, I love all of my five children.

Answer 10

I think its wonderful. My husband and i are going to adopt 2 after this one is born, then we want to have another one and then adopt 2 more. We want a huge ethnically diverse family.  I think it is beautiful. As long as you treat all children equally in everything, it should work out just fine.

Answer 11

My hubby and I adopted our son from Guatemala, he came home to us at 8 months old, and at that time I was 4.5 months pregnant!!  Trust me, you will love any/all your children the same, they are all a blessing.

Answer 12

Hi Momma22,

1) How do i feel about mixing biological and adopted children, well its a lot of work.

2) Do you think it causes problems yes.  With a lot of work it can be done but make no mistake its a lot of work.  It hurts adopted children to hear how much your biological children look like their parents.  I am watched carefully to see how "fair" i am, to see if bio kids are favored.  Bio-kids get jealous because adopted kids need more reassurance and one on one attention.  Its a balancing act.  By the way, raising adopted children is more work than raising bio children.  They need more love, attention and reassurance.

3) I do love all my children the same.

Answer 13

Do you love them the same?

You can try.  I'd suggest watching Sofie's Choice but they were both biological.   If anyone knows why she chose her son, let me know. Didn't catch why.

Answer 14

I have both and I love them both equally so much so that I forget that my daughter is adopted all the time.  It's all in how you treat the children, if you treat them differently they will feel differently.  Adoption is a wonderful choice...I wouldn't change my circumstances if i could.