How do you feel watching this adoptee speak his truth?

Question

I found these You Tube videos on one of the best adoptee blogs around.

http://ungratefullittlebastard.blogspot.com/search/label/ungrateful%20rants

I was very moved by this adoptee's TRUTH, not because it's unique, but because it's universal. I'm curious as to what others think:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TeQLFD9-j3o&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UULbBdRDBMY&feature=related

Answer 1

I feel tearful because I can so identify, identify, identify and that is such  a relief

I feel sad for the little girl I was with all the self-reflection I did and the inability to verbalize it and share it with anyone

It took me 36 years to find my voice and verbalize how it felt to be adopted.   It is identifying with other adoptees, reading and research that has enabled me to do that.

We were no 'blank slates'

Answer 2

to be honest. I really don't know what to think about. I watched it, but I have some mixed feelings. I don't believe i cratered to either my adoptive parents or my birth mother. I think i need to mull it over for a little bit, before i can know how i really feel.

Answer 3

Cam - your first part of your answer was great - in my opinion - but then you had to add something to completely negate those adoptees that DO feel that way. I don't know why so many have to do so. I know over 100 adoptees. And most of them do, or have felt this way, sometime in their lives. Many many adoptees NEVER speak out about how they're really feeling in real life - because so many others (non adopted) have made them feel like freaks for going against what society dictates them to speak & feel.

For me - I think the videos are great. Adoptees telling their truth is such a powerful thing to see.

Adoptees need to know that it's fine to think and feel all the confusing range of emotions that they feel - because being adopted can be a very messed up thing to live through - especially through all the different stages as they grow up.

Even those that state that they are completely happy with being adopted - often state that they've had difficult times at some stages through their lives.

There is no one size fits all - and it's OK to feel the complete range of emotions - at any time they choose.

Answer 4

I stopped listening when he said he "caters" to the parents, both birthmother and adoptive.  

I understand wanting to know.  But I do not understand how he thinks he has DONE anything special for the woman who had him or the people who raised him.

Sorry, but if you resent the adoption, fine, own that.  But do not say you DID anything for your parents.

Answer 5

I feel validated and finally understood.  

I'm finally starting to feel like I belong and that there are people out there that really get me, that have experienced the same emotions that I have and don't judge me for it.

Answer 6

I feel that it's his truth, and I'm so happy for him that he's found an outlet or medium for his story to be heard.  

I'm sorry for the pain that he and other adoptees live with daily.

I wish him well, and encourage him to keep speaking his truth as I shall speak mine.

Answer 7

Validated. I feel validated and not nearly as alone.

Answer 8

I watched it and I think it is sad for those adoptees who were abandoned and have aparents that don't support their true identity.

But it is not universal and not all adoptees go through this.

Possum - The second part of my answer was not intended to negate the feelings of adoptees that DO feel this way. I know some do and rightfully so, but we also have to  acknowledge those adoptees that DO NOT feel this way and point out that the feelings in this video are not always the case.

Answer 9

Actually I have mixed feelings, growing up I knew a lot of adoptees who came from very nice homes and struggled big time or didn't make it at all.   Oddly, in general the girls seemed to fare better.  I struggled on the inside but externally, I have a pretty functioning life, I have a career I love, a nice home, longstanding relationships, a healthy family...

Internally, I have really fought some demons, abandonment, anxiety, I am proud of what I have and what I have worked to achieve.

I feel strongly that the well-being of adoptees are ignored.  I suffer for not feeling like I could help my adoptee friend who shot himself, or the one who disappeared and is assumed dead, or the one who became hopelessly alcoholic, or the one who can't search because he is so afraid of his adoptive mom, or the one who can't function socially or get a girlfriend because he is so flippin' needy.

In real life I have seen so much damage done in the name of adoption, and while I am not against adoption, I feel like these people could have been really helped if their issues were taken seriously and they weren't degraded or made fun of or told, shut-up and be glad you weren't an abortion.

On-line, I have known lots of adoptees who claim they are happy and then turn, and finally confess, yes, I feel abandoned too, yes I love my aparents, but I struggled like you, Joy.

While I am happy when they allow themselves this self-awareness, my heart kind of sinks a little, you too?

I mean the numbers of people suffering in silence are staggering, and it just makes me sad, you know there is a little part of me that would like to be wrong, and think some babies really can leave their mothers and not mind.  It just doesn't seem to be the case.

I actually hate how my fellow adoptees suffer, and wish I WAS the only one, not only am I not the only one, I have a comparatively mild case of the adoptee blues.