How do you get a 10 year old to stop screaming and whining?

Question

She almost died year and half ago. She has been in the hospital several time since then. She has crohns disease as a result of everything last year. Now all she does is scream and whine about everything. We have been to counselors and we have tried the reward system and nothing works. I understand she has a lot of frustration because of everything she has gone through. But this is effecting everyone in our home and well as some of our neighbors.We now will go sit outside on the porch while she screams so noe can say we are abusing her. I am afraid our neighbors will call the law or our land lord because of her screaming. We need help !!!

Answer 1

I have had this condition all my life and it is painful but I also had a brother and sister too.  Yes I spent more time on the toilet and mum and dad maybe were a little easier on me then my brother and sister, but it shouldnt cause you to scream or whine as much as your child seems to be doing, yes she may be in pain or frustrated but that doesnt give her the reason to be a bit naughty, Tell her that if she continues to scream outside there will be consequences and she will be band from something she likes or not allowed t.v. the first 72 hours are hard but once she is aware of the her actions she will change, you can still live a relatively normal life with this diease.I hope this helps and I feel sorry for you have a happy day!

Answer 2

Choose a time when everything is calm; tell her how much you enjoy her company when she's reasonable and calm, and then tell her that ten year olds don't scream and whine for what they want.  Tell her that you will NOT speak to her, listen to her, or do what she asks when she is screaming and being unpleasant.  Then stick to it.  Ignore her until she speaks to you calmly. Try to meet her requests when she asks politely, but under NO circumstances can you give in when she screeches; you'll just be showing her that this works.

And I would speak directly to the neighbors to explain the situation.  Tell them what is going on; I bet they'll be more supportive than you think!