How do you get a child to get ready for school who flat out refuses without physically making them?

Question

I have tired to talk to him, negotiate, and take things away, like TV or game time in the evening. I am at a loss!

Answer 1

I had the same problem.

Ileft my kids at home by themselves (they are old enough) and called my Dad to go over there. He scared the c**p out of them!

Someone other than you may have to shake a little reality into him!

I'm so sorry you are having this problem! it could lead to attendance issues as well!

Answer 2

you did the right thing taking the things he likes away.

Keep doing that until he is left with only a bed and a room and that is it and then he will go to school because he is so bored.

If that doesn't work then keep him off school one day. Make him not have any treats and just be bored. Ask him why he doesn' want to go to school. This should work. Good luck.

Answer 3

with a stick or belt

Answer 4

question is- when you threaten to take things away do you really follow through...? Because overtime these tactics usually work! If a child knows that when mom says they won't have any playtime after school, they're going to do what she says! Tell them they have no playtime after school, physically make them get ready, then follow through when they get home! It just takes a couple of miserable days for them to realize that they're losing the power struggle. You gotta be strong!

Good luck to you!!

Answer 5

If all else fails........flat out physically make them.........I've had to literally pull my daughter off of the bed and stand over her while she dresses herself on mornings when she just won't get out of bed.......

I don't negotiate with my children, or threaten them.  I am the authority figure and they know if they won't do it, I will MAKE them.

Answer 6

I once took my children (age 2 & 4) to school in their underwear .  Carried them to the car, buckled them in, set their clothes on the floor and drove to school.

They were mortified (and got dressed in the van in the parking lot).

So now, in elementary school, when I threaten the same thing, I can remind them that I've done it once, I can do it again.

EDIT: Aha, you found out why he doesn't want to go to school.  Now you need to address that issue - doing homework every day in the evening.  We've done it both ways - right away in small increments (for big projects) and waiting until the last minute and rushing to get it done.  Then we compared which was easier, and decided that little pieces was the easiest method.

Answer 7

You need to find out what is going on at school, on the playground, on the walk to school or on the bus!  Kids who don't want to go to school usually have a reason for not wanting to go.  I would also schedule a meeting with the teacher to find out what is going on.

Answer 8

I have recently had this problem with my six-year-old.   She is cranky and uncooperative in the morning, and makes all of us late getting out of the house.

I decided to try a positive strategy with her instead of the negative strategy of taking something away.  Her big sister made a chart called "Sophia's Cheerful Mornings."  Every time she has a good morning where she cheerfully eats her breakfast, brushes her teeth, gets dressed, and gets her hair done without complaint, she gets a sticker on the chart.  When she has 20 stickers, she gets a new toy (inexpensive) from her favorite catalog.

This has been working like a charm!  We've only been doing it for a few days, but she's gotten a sticker every single day so far.  We are ALL much more cheerful when we leave the house, and no one has been late.

Sometimes rewards work better than punishments!

Answer 9

I feel your pain.  It's terribly frustrating because you have a schedule to keep, and children don't quite have that concept down pat. Negative reinforcement (taking things away) is the worst thing to do. I've had this battle with my daughter and only satisfying results with positive reinforcement. I was at the point where I dreaded getting up in the morning to have this battle day after day. Work was the hilight of my mornings!

I sat down and thought of everything my daughter has to do in the morning: get up, go potty, get dressed, brush teeth, brush hair, take vitamins, eat breakfast, leave. Then I made a weekly chart with a picture to represent each (she wasn't a reader, the problem started in preschool).

Every time she successfully completed her task, she would get a sticker. If she was unsuccessful (we had to push or argue) she got an X in the square. After a predetermined amount of time (a week) we would count the X's and if she met the goal for that week (5 X's or less) then she would get a reward (trip to McD's, CEC's, movie night, etc.). If not, she'd have to try again next week.

This was very successful for us because it visualized our expectations for her. She could look at it and see what was expected and she was always eager to see the stickers go up! Good luck and stay sane!

Answer 10

It depends on the age! If they are very young, say just starting out, try likening their daily routine for getting ready for school to their favourite T.V. or cartoon character, saying [for example!] "Barney brushes his teeth every morning and goes to school too". That worked at one stage for my tot well. I think she's cottoned on, aged six now though ;]

Answer 11

U cant allow your child the right to make decisions about things like this. Not going to school is not an option in my house. U need to show hI'm who is in control in your home bf the problem gets worst. He doesn't have long bf he will be a teenager. A child will test u all the time. But im sorry u are the adult not his friend to negotiate with. I think u are doing the right thing by taking away things he likes or enjoys to play with but i think u just need to do it longer. Your child maybe not getting enough attention where he needs it the most and maybe starting to have these behavior issues. Or maybe he is not getting challenged enough. We as parents love our kids and we want them to have it better than we had when we were growing up. But we cant give them everything with making them earn it sometime. U don't want your child to think life is easy because he will fail as an adult. I think u need to have a sit down talk with him. Get to know his feelings and what he's thinking and maybe try spending more time with him to see if that helps. Most importantly he needs to know he is loved and that u are in control. Hope this helps.

Answer 12

All three of my girls (including 4 year old) have their own alarm clocks.  When the alarms go off they are expected to get up and get prepared for school.  If they aren't prepared by the time the bus arrives they go out the door however they are.  My two oldest have gone to school in their pjs once in their lives.  I don't do battle and I don't negotiate.  They know the rules, either they follow them or they suffer the consquences.

Answer 13

I would send him to school in his pjs and not dressed. I would say, you want to waste your morning - then you can deal with the consequences. A bit of teasing will get him on track.