How do you get a fourth grader to take homework seriously?

Question

My 9 yr old sister is going to repeat the fourth grade, because she doesnt take the advice or help i give her on her hw seriously. i have sat with her for over 3 hours on a math paper that should have taken her 15 mins. She will either throw a fit that she doesnt get how to do it or does a really annoying baby voice "I dont get it, im a baby. WAAA!" which i tell her to stop or i am not helping then she starts crying. Or she will just give up and not try..put her head down. And when she get reall;y frusterated she breaks erasers, pencils and trows things. She will yell at her brothers cause they r done with their HW and she not. She also has a problem with thinking she is the boss of her brothers(6 and 10)

We thought she was doing fine in school until we realized she has been lying to us about completing her HW at school. Her and her brothers i guess u could say are adopted. But she doesnt know she probably notgoing to live with her mom again. They think they r just staying with us

Answer 1

I taught 4th grade for six years and I now tutor students in grades 3 -12.  From my experience, the reason children act out or don't do their homework is because they are not understanding what they are learning at school.  They do not want to be embarrassed by you finding out they don't know what they are doing, so they pitch fits and act out.  It is there way of coping with their frustration. My suggestion would be to get her an understanding tutor... one who knows how to deal with children who have already given up on themselves. You need someone who will make learning fun and on her level.  If she gets the special attention she needs, she might learn to love school. Keep in mind, this is not a short, easy process. It might take her awhile to open up with anyone. Just keep reminding her that she is smart and she can do it and sooner or later she will start believing that too.

Answer 2

Tell the adult in charge of her care that she has classic symptoms of ADHD. She needs intervention early because it will help her a lot more now than when she reaches adolescence.

For you, this child cannot focus her attention on her work even if she wants to. It is frustrating and nerve wracking for people like you. There is no reasoning with her and no matter how many times you try she will not get better. She needs professional help.

Hang in there.

Answer 3

Explain to her calmly that you are just trying to help and that you are obviously not so you are going to step out of the situation

also; make a reward chart. Or tell her for every week she does all her math she get a dollar or two!

Also, tell her you will take this reward away if she acts younger then 9 and if she throws a fit.

Don't help her if she gets nasty with you

Where's your mom/dad in this???

Answer 4

Why is a parent not handling this? No matter how much you want to help, sometimes it takes an adult to get it done. It sounds like she's not going to listen to you, so get the adult to help. The more frustrated a kid gets, the more they don't want to listen to a sibling. You just don't have the respect from her that an adult would have.

Answer 5

Get her evaluated for a learning disability ASAP. My daughter had similar behavior and was diagnosed with dyslexia between third and forth grade. I would not have the school test her. Find a private psychologist or learning center to do it.

Answer 6

This sister of yours seems very troubled and really when she doesn't get something she gets VERY upset.  Sometimes when I ask my brother to help me on something i get mad becuase hes trying to be the boss of me or trying to act smart.  So I would first try to not help her as much, just give her tips in small portions that don't take long.  Try not to sit and lecture all the time because that gets her frustrated i bet.  To help out the taking it seriously give her rewards for doing her homework or doing something right.  As you first start out give lots of rewards then try and give less and less over time.  I'd say don't completely stop the rewards but definatly keep it to a limit.  You could pay her for good grades or pay her for good report cards.  When she completes maybe even 4 problems go out and do something fun for a bit then get back too it.  You see its hard to get young people excited about work by just saying "YEAH GET TO IT!!"  Its not effective.  You need to give them a reason to be excited and give them something to look forward too!  So be creative with the rewards, have fun!  As for the brothers if they bother her in any way sort of shun them for the day or don't give them as much attention.  Dont give that attention to your sister but just make the brothers feel guilty :)  Guilt is the strongest feeling and a great weapon to use against kids and it is present in everyone!  So really use the tools that you have to your advantage.  If your sister does something bad then take away a reward or even make her feel guilty by saying that she really upset you.  Again be creative and tap into the inner heart of your sister and brothers.  So to conclude, use rewards, small bits of help, BE KIND, and be understanding, put yourself in their shoes, use guilt and inner feelings to your advantage, and BE CREATIVE!!

I hope you sort things out and things go better for you!

:-D

Answer 7

it sounds like she might need some help from the school. It sounds like she might have some emotional or developmental issues that are causing her problems. since she is not  with her mother (and probably won't return to her) whatever issues brought her to your family may be causing part of the problem. I am assuming that the school is aware of her situation. whoever her legal guardian is should ask the school to do a multi-factored evaluation. this will evaluate her for emotional problems or learning disabilities and stuff like that.  Also there should be a line of communication between the teacher and guardian. Last year I asked my sons teacher to let me know if he fell a few assignments behind instead of waiting for report card time...that way he had time to catch up. she went one step further and made HIM call me on his recess and TELL me (with her standing there) that he hadn't done his work, and when the new deadline was.