How do you get a stubborn 4 yr old to learn the things they need for kindergarten?

Question

She tends to be a little lazy at all things not just school learning. I try to do fun activities, but it lasts about a minute and she's bored and wants to do something else. (she doesn't have a short attention span, she'd just rather be doing something else other than learning letters or whatever.) We don't have a problem with our 6 yr old who loves doing workbooks and other fun educational things at home. So how do I motivate the youngest without pushing too hard. Rewards don't make a difference to her...she'll choose to go without rather than work. Who's heard of a 4 yr old you can't win over with a reward? Maybe she's smarter than I think if reverse psychology doesn't work at her age.

Answer 1

I always try and quiz my girl out of the blue instead of "study time"  Like when I wear a shirt I ask her what the letters on it are one at a time and when she gets one wrong or says I dont know I will help her.  When we were walking into Lowes I had her tell me the letters then told her it spelled Lowes, now everytime we go past a Lowes she says "LOWES!"  Find what she likes to do not boaring.... DO NOT USE REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY cause it only teaches her not to listen to you.

Answer 2

What I do with my 4 year old when he tends to be stubborn about learning certain things at school is this: I printed up a few sticker reward charts off the computer and let him choose his favorite. I then glued onto construction paper and decorated it and hung it on the door of his play room downstairs. Each day that he does well with the things he wasn't trying too hard with, I give him a star sticker for that day.

At the end of a certain period, if there are a lot of stars, he gets a reward (for my son its to go see Spiderman 3 when it comes out in the theater). For your daughter- it should be whatever she wants the most, save it for the reward.

Answer 3

dont push.  set out some education games and only play if she wants to.  if not just leave it.  most kindergartens dont assume that everyone will already know how to read and count to 100.  that is what you learn in kindergarten.  some kids just switch from hate to learn to love to learn quickly but they never willl if they feel like it is a chore.  if she still hates learning and she has a late birthday it could be for the best to start her in kindergarten at 6.  or atleast ask what she would prefer.  also talk to the teacher and see what you kid NEEDS to know for kindergarten and just dont worry about the rest.

Answer 4

As the mother of a stubborn 5 yr old I feel your pain.  I could not get this girl to do anything.  When she started kindergarten I was under the impression that she did not know her ABC's, numbers or anything.  It turned out that she had been listening.  We sang our ABC's in the car (she never participated), we also sang 1 2 buckle my shoe... When she started kindergarten all of a sudden she knew her letters and numbers and could even read a bit.  Just keep doing what you are doing, chances are your child is listening.  If your child will not actively participate don't worry.  Some of everything you say to your kids sinks in somewhere.  I am sure she will amaze you when she gets to school, I know mine did.

Answer 5

i have a very subborn 3 year old

and if her dad is around it is worse because he babies her and well she has became quite the drama queen

there are certain things that a child will learn from someone else than with you

each of my daughters are like this there are things that my mom can do with them that i can't even do

but thats like going to someones house to eat they may eat something there that they wont at home

so maybe you can get someone to help

Answer 6

The great thing about that age is that you can make anything into a learning activity! Start with what she's interested in. If she's building with blocks (some, like the wooden ones, have letters and numbers on them) use those as a base for some learning. Ask her what color they are, how many she stacked, if her tower is short or tall, even use decribing words to tell you about the blocks. If she's playing with dolls or animals you have many opportunities... try roll playing. Set up a senario and ask for some input from her. If you can get her interested in puzzles, then you've got lots of things to work with. Many puzzles are not only colorful (what color is this?), but have number (can you tell me what number that is? or how many puzzle pieces do you have?) and letters (sing the ABC song while pointing at each piece, or have her name the letter she's putting in).

If you keep asking questions and she's giving you no responce, or rejecting your question... answer your own question. I promise that the information will be absorbed if she hears it enough.

Hope that helps! Keep a positive attitude and in no time you'll she how very smart she is!

Answer 7

There is a book called Punished by Rewards, by Alfie Kohn, you might check it out at the library. Reward systems of any kind will usually turn around and bite you in the butt. Anyhoo, on to the OP

I would suggest letting her do what she wants, and being so involved in it that you can insert fun learning into that. Playing dolls, let her be the teacher. Playing blocks, let her do 'ABC cleanup' when you're done (saying a letter of the alphabet with each one into the bin), jumping in water puddles ("let's see how many jumps you can get! One, Two...") Let her cut and paste and color as much as she wants.

Mostly, remember NOT to compare her to her big sister. She is NOT her sister. They are two different people, and by assuming or presuming that she'll learn the same way, you'll be destroying any joy of learning that she could attain. Maybe read some stuff by John Holt, that's been a real eye-opener for me.

Answer 8

Wait for the right mood.  I've found mornings to be the best time, too.  Make a trip to a local store, and call it your "special time".  Look for things that start with A, or B, etc.  Have a color day - wear green, eat green foods, etc.  Ask your child to do things like take 2 towels to one bathroom, 3 to the other.  Sing songs in the car - even if your child tunes you out, something's going to stick.  

Let her pick an activity, then customize it.  If she wants to play with play doh, sit close to her and play along.  Make letters, even if she's busy making lumps - she'll eventually get curious. But, whatever you do, don't tell her its time to "learn" or "work".  Do it in a way that she has no idea that it's happening.

Answer 9

heres two things my kids would compete in the car with us

between best rhyms ,stories math problems you name it we did our best teaching while riding in the car the other was my nephew he was so lazy thats was not it he catches on very fast he was bored with the work try letting your child do things her own way give her the new games they come out with      [never give a reward for learning make her feel pride in her self]