How do you get men motivated to do things?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years now, going on 6. We are planning to get married next summer, it was supposed to be this summer but he didn't save enough money like we had planned. I have saved about 2,000 and he spent all of his money he had earned all year, so we're trying again. He has a great paying job but he seems to think that he never seems to need to save his money and there isn't anything I can seem to do to motivate him! Now I just found out that I am pregnant and am nervous to tell him since we are not financially ready because he won’t save any money, he only makes 1,000 a week but that should be ok until I finish school. How can I get him to want to save money for us and our new coming family?

Answer 1

Take control of the relationship until he can prove otherwise. He may even enjoy some dominance :)

Answer 2

All you need is a large caliber handgun and/ or several over-protective brothers.  

Really, why should you expect him to change anything?  He's got the money, the s*x, and the freedom...life is good.  

I'm sure he's not all that concerned about what you are going to do with 'your' baby.  If he was going to step up and be responsible, it would have happened by now.

Answer 3

Just out of the blue maybe more s*x? :S i really dont know sorry

Answer 4

First of all... wow and congratulations!  I want to be the first to tell you that there is never enough money for a child!  There is no such thing as saving for a child because you will always end up spending more than you saved anyway.  

Now, as for your bf, does he spend freely and not want to save?  What are his spending habits?  You didn't clarify what he used his money on, so I'm going to assume that you guys hit a rough patch like the rest of us in America.  He may actually be worried about being married.  If you two were both trying to save for this wedding, then he should've tried harder to do just that.  He may just be trying to blow you off, but even if that isn't the case, you really need to have a sit down with him and talk to him truthfully about this.  Especially since there is now a baby on the way.  You can't change him, but you can Help him.  See if he will be willing to have you take care of the finances for you both so you can help save for the both of you.  If he's insecure about that, quite frankly, you will never have that dream wedding of yours.  He needs to step in and get a reality check.  You both need to plan, not just you.  If he doesn't want to save, then you really need to just get out and take care of yourself because he will only drag you down in the end.  

Good luck to you and your baby.

Answer 5

This may be a lot easier than you think. First of all being the fact that i am a happily married man of 14 years with 4 awesome kids, who in my past i was well not the most reliable person in the world. I can tell you this. when my lovely bride and i were still engaged i was still acting like a single guy dating its just in the nature of men. I was loyal but just frivilent with money. When she came to me about our first child things all changed, something inside me turned on and i went from being mr party animal to SuperDad, i started saving money, helping more around the house and taking things alot more seriouly. Its genetic.

I would first start by telling him about the baby and give him a few minutes to get his head around it, it may take a day or two even.

Then I would read these books that will help out

The Five Love Languages~this book made our realtionship 1000 times better.

His Needs, Her Needs~ This is a great book a little harsh but a great book.

I hope this helps if you guys need more help you can contact me more if ya just want to talk i am on Yahoo as [e-mail] and i have YIM.

Answer 6

Stop giving him s*x.

Answer 7

well check his mail and see if hes saving it .if he is good but if hes not tell him ur pregnant before th kid comes out case then h**l get even madder if he didnt know. tell him maybe you shoild start saving money for something your going to need

Answer 8

If you guys do not already have one, get a joint account.  You can also get a savings account, and have him get some of his paycheck deposited into the account every week.  If he is not motivated enough to save money for the marriage, maybe he just doesn't want to get married.  Either it's is that or he just does not know how/has never had to save money.  Tell him bout the baby, because that may be all the motivation he needs!  In every relationship there is always one person who saves the money and one who spends it.  You guys just need to sit down and go over both of your finances!  Ask him to give you like 200 a week, so you can save money for him!

Answer 9

The age-old question:  How does a woman change a man?

Give up changing him now. You either love him the way he is or you don't.

Unless you are willing to tolerate his spendthrift ways for years and years, you might want to rethink getting married.