Question:

How do you get over a betrayal?

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The love of my life betrayed me, cut me deep. She "pretended" to be in the relationship with me when she had clearly checked out long before it ended. I caught her in an emotional "online" relationship with someone a couple of states away but promised to end it for the sake of us - I forgave. We had a fight 6 months later, she went to her mother's for a couple of weeks, and then she just disappeared (found out she had move to another state because she had gotten engaged to that emotional online friend I caught her chatting with). To add insult to injury, she wants to be "friends"...to add fuel to the fire, she says she still loves me and cares for me...to add salt to the wound, she says she is confused and doesn't know what she wants. She says this was partially my fault because I worked 2 jobs is basically what she said. I couldn't get her to understand that it takes two incomes to live, especially where we did - it probably takes 2 incomes to live anywhere nowadays. And had she worked 1 job AND contributed to something, I wouldn't have had to work 2 - not that I mind but in hindsight maybe I should have if my efforts were going to be unappreciated. The sad part is, the 2nd job was more or less for the "leisure" activities. A little extra income to do and buy the things we both liked, but mainly her (thus sometimes creating a bill). It's been 3 months and it still stings like it was yesterday - especially the wanting to be friends part. It all ended the day before our 2 year anniversary. I thought I did everything right turns out it was all wrong.

Just venting...thanks for listening.

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  1. OK lets get real for one moment shall we. Let's say that she comes back to you to try to work things out, can you honestly say that you would be able to trust her completly ? I mean 100% ?

    NO you couldn't, why ? because she cheated on you and took you for granted. The trust is broken. I'm not saying to move on because you can't right now. You need time to grieve but always remember that once a cheater always a cheater. She's playing mind games with you and basically saying to eat your heart out.


  2. I'm sorry there isn't a quick way of getting over the hurt, but honestly time is the best healer.  She is a user and your are a giver.....one can not live with the other.  The giver is the one to usually get hurt.  Let her go and live off someone else, karma will kick her to the curb.  I know it's hard when there is a child involved, but so many adults and kids go through it, you will be fine.  Time...I promise makes it better.

  3. I am so glad you found out what kind of person she is now instead of 15 years later & 2 kids.

    You should never have to hold down 2 jobs to pay bills what you do instead is get rid of payments like credit cards, phone, car, internet, cable make cut backs ect ... that stuff is not necessary to live.

    As much as it hurts you right now she did you the favor in the long run, I do understand that you don't get it right now but you will.

    You really need to put her in her place & tell her that right now is not a good time for her wanting to stay friends with you, that you need some space from her.

    I am sorry that things did not work out for you with this relationship, but you must remember that it takes two, to make it work or not work.

  4. Tough right now, but eventually you'll be glad she's gone.  Sounds like a user to me.  Lazy too!

  5. dude, make sure you MAN UP with your next GF...   you was a softie\whimpy kind of guy who let her do what she wanted..   keep the next one in line... make sure she konws whos boss.

    live n learn.  

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