How do you get over it when you are mad at your spouse?

Question

My husband and I just got in a little fight. It was over something that turned out not to be his fault but my suspicions where aroused and now I should be over it but I am not. He didn't even do anything wrong! But he got mad then I got mad and then I put salsa in his favorite magazine. What's wrong with me?? How do you deal with getting over the anger especially when you have to right to be angry??

Answer 1

You mature.

Period.

I mean really, salsa in a magazine?  Immaturity at work here.

Answer 2

Well there is no reason to be mad if he didn't do anything wrong. Just apologize to him and give him a kiss!

Answer 3

Anger is your own emotion. You have the power to control yourself. You allow people to make you angry or happy or sad or whatever. When you realize that peace is more important that being right or making your point you always win. Blow that c**p off. It is not worth the waste of energy.  

Answer 4

  Apologize and be sincere about it.  Admit that what you did was wrong.  Explain how you felt when you still thought he was in the wrong and ask for his forgiveness.  PS  Go buy another copy of his magazine that you ruined.  Once you have come to terms with all of the above than you will find it easier to laugh at how  silly you have been.  Hopefully he will have enough of a sense of humor to laugh with you.  Also you may want to buy a new toothbrush just in case he got even with you and hasn't admitted it yet! : )

Answer 5

I have a really quick temper. I get mad before I even know what's going on quite often. And my husband does a lot of things before he really thinks about what he's doing. So we have a lot of "little" fights. But the way that we both "get over" them is by just going about our business until we find something else to talk about. Many times after I have cooled down, I will explain why I got upset and tell him that I am sorry. He will often do the same thing.

Just make sure you give yourself some cool-down time. If you just try to jump back into a normal routine while you're still mad, then it's just going to get worse because you'll bury your feelings without releasing them and then someday you will explode.

When I get really mad at my husband, and I have good reason to, I will write him a letter or an email and explain to him exactly what's wrong. When I do this and I'm still mad, I will typically delete it or rip up the letter. But it does help me feel a lot better to get my feelings out.

Good luck. :)

Answer 6

you need to calm down , you have an anger issue!!

Answer 7

Very childish. Act like an adult. He was pushing your buttons , and you fell for it. SOunds like you like your magazines salsa flavored.

Answer 8

Salsa in his magazine?  How old are you?!

Answer 9

Are you positive that it is pure anger at the situation?

I have periods of time that I feel like being angry at my husband for no reason, but I've come to realize that it usually means I have some pent up energy that needs to be released.

Go to an aerobics class, or work on a garden. (You can actually find some workout videos online at youtube.com) Just do something to get your heart rate up that doesn't include messing up your husbands things, and you might feel a lot better.

If this continues, maybe you should see a counselor.

Answer 10

idk i'm not married

Answer 11

Take time to be alone or with a friend that will listen to you right now and how you feel!  What ever you do just leave him alone right now untill you calm down!  Go take a long walk or a drive,  go see someone your close to that will listen, preferbly a female and tell them how you feel and someone you really trust to not tell what your going though right now!  Then see how you feel later when you let it all out!  

Answer 12

Sounds like you are sweating the small stuff!  Think of how silly this is...  And always put yourself in someone elses shoes before you start pointing fingers at them.  You may have a right to be upset, but please weigh all your options & think of how you would react if presented with something like this before you throw that first stone!

Answer 13

YOU need to check yourself and be careful when it comes to accusations and salsa.

Answer 14

TIME.....time heals everything,

Though at the moment i m in a problem with my husband and sometimes i cannot apply this time thing, but believe me...

Guys need to be on their own when they are angry, till they are ok and they will come and talk....

I have to be hoenst,, i dont usually do this, because it is very difficult for me to wait, as i always want everything to be solved and we are ok right away, but guys dont function this way...

Leave him, from time to time check if he wants something, a cup of tea, or coffee, and get busy doing anythhing around the house...get his favorite food and leave him till he is ok, specially that you admit that he was not mistaken...!!!!!at the end of the day, it is you together and things are better to be solved...

Whenever angry...TAKE SOME TIME, to clear your and his head...

BEST OF LUCK

Answer 15

First of all anger is not an emotion it is a combination of other feelings combined. So you first need to find out what else your feeling that is causing this so called ANGER. then maybe you will find the root of your problem. Sometimes you need to just step back breathe and say to yourself..What am i doing, calm down and lets move on through the day like nothing happened. Its better for you than sitting all upset.

Answer 16

You put salsa in his favorite magazine, what are you, five? Those revenge tactics don't do a thing but show that you're immature. He didn't do anything, so why be mad? I would be mad too if I was him by being accused of something I didn't do, then after I was cleared, still getting sh*t for it. You just have to learn to let go, if you can't do that in a marriage, then you'll be full of resentment. Why don't you two go out tonight and get past this? Don't make an issue where there is none.

Good luck.

Answer 17

You just over reacted but if it wasn't his fault and you got mad at him, appoligize and then you may feel better!

Answer 18

If he got mad that you got mad, then you got mad that he got mad, I'd say that salsa was definitely called for.

You guys need counseling, pronto, amigos!

Answer 19

u need some Prozac or Xanax or something

Answer 20

I go to the bedroom and shut the door. After an hour or so with a book or a video game the anger disappears. I don't get "out of control" angry -even when I'm angry, there's a part of me inside that is just an observer. I guess I try and rely on this "observer" part to see me through.

Answer 21

Well, TECHNICALLY... You didn't have the right to be angry... it was your suspitions that drove the fight, and he got mad because you were mad... which made you PO'ed... which in turn is where you are now... only to find out you were wrong.

SWALLOW that pride now! That is why you're still mad... It is your pride in the way. Because you admit he didn't do anything wrong, and yet you're still mad. Take a deep breath, and take a look at him. I mean a TRUE look. Do you want to make up, or would you rather he walked out over nothing?

I say tonight, make his favorite meal and share some wine. Tell him you're sorry for fighting, and even more sorry for acting the way you did when he had done nothing wrong. Tell him you love him and just hope he forgives you. And, I bet when he hears that... You two will be making up in no time.