How do you get over someone who has died?

Question

i lost someone i was in love with last year and want to get over him as much as i can. i know he will always mean alot to me but i want to be able to move on and love someone else. i try to remind myself everyday that hes gone now and dwelling in the past wont do me any good for my future happiness. i have been dating someone for a few months now but i still have stronger feeling for my lost love than my current bf...anyone have an advice?

Answer 1

First I clicked on your profile because I wanted to write to you in private, as this is an extremely sensitive question you are asking, but it says you do not accept e-mail so, I hope that I will be able to treat this matter with delicacy.

Human emotions, especially love, are very powerful forces and when we love someone and lose them, it can be a very painful experience because of the disappointment we feel not being able to continue to build our relationship with the person and fulfill our needs and dreams.

While it is good to be aware that dwelling in the past is not going to help you, I understand that you must realize that we cannot go back, because this situation is not something you can change. It is also helpful to try and apply a "mind over matter" strategy, even though this will not take away the pain, it certainly helps clear the emotions for awhile.

Some people have found it helpful to reassess their understand/attitude towards the question of death itself. Ask yourself if your personal beliefs allow you to feel settled on this issue... because it is something which nobody can escape. Many have found comfort in the fact that we will inherit an afterlife and if this is part of what you may believe, then try and seize this because it can bring you a message of hope for the condition of your departed one.

On the practical side, you are correct to be concerned about your future happiness and maybe it will just take a little time to be able to ease into a new relationship with as much intensity as the last one... but as they say, "time heals all wounds" and it will get better because the pain always gets further. But give yourself time;