How do you get over someone who left you?

Question

my gilfreind left me after 3 years.i treated her very good and she just left with no explanation.i found out later it was another guy.ive met someone else,but still have a lot of anger and feel used and betrayed by her.she never even got her stuff out of my pad and i finally threw it out.my life is a lot better without her but i still cant shake these feelings of anger and resentment towards her.

Answer 1

go to a strip club  

Answer 2

three years is a long time and it is obvious that it's going to be hard to get over; my friend who i live with finised with his girlfriend of three years about a month ago for another girl and every time his ex sees him, she cries and it's hard seeing that as i got really close to his ex and she was really nice and to know that you got left for someone else must be horrible but it will get easier :) she went out and is now happy in a relationship - try and keep yourself occupied and tell yourself what she has done to you and she don't deserve the feelings you still have for her and eventually, they will fade and you need to find someone who wants you and loves you and wouldn't think twice about looking at another lad.

Answer 3

Betrayal, anger , hurt, rejection, these are all emotions that you feel when something like this happens, I know, I have been there myself.

What you need to do is to get over it as soon ,and as well as you can. The fact that you have got rid of her stuff is a good start, you now need to try and get into another relationship and just forget about her. The chances are that she will do the same thing to the guy she has moved on with, if she can do it once, she can do it again Good luck.

Answer 4

It takes TIME thats about it...you can find someone else but TRUST me it is just a distraction.  You need to give yourself the time to heal and do stuff for yourself.  Just think of all the positive things that are happening in your life.  It's not easy and it won't be for a LONG time but you will be ok in the end, maybe better.

;) good luck.

Answer 5

instead of resentment turn it into something positive when you feel this remember your new girlfriend and how much she means to you.  This new girlfriend deserves all of your attention and the more anger you feel towards your ex will be the demise of the relationship that you are trying to establish just love your girl and forget about the other she will get what is coming to her

Answer 6

Eventually those feelings will lighten up. There will still be some resentment but at least you're starting to finally get over her. Good luck I know what you're going through...  

Answer 7

Spend a lot of time with your friends! They'll offer support and help you move on. And, if you're ready, look for someone new to date!

Answer 8

Wow James, It will be ok. just start having allot of fun with the current girl. you will notice how you can sleep better, eat more, and less resentment towards her. Good luck

Answer 9

have s*x with someone else right away.

it works for me.

Answer 10

You've already taken the first step by throwing away her stuff. You have to allow yourself to let go of the anger you are feeling and focus on your current relationship.  .

Answer 11

You free yourself by loving yourself enough to let it all go.  Stewing in one's own poison is not good.  Love yourself, love your new person. Love conquers hate and joy conquers anger.  Go be happy.

Answer 12

First of all, YOU learn from this experience. THEN you find the cause of the problem....

If you ever date someone and they leave without explanation, whether you like it or not YOU TWO HAD A COMMUNICATION PROBLEM. So, was it your fault, or was it her fault? Doesn't matter. What matters is this: Assume you did everything right, then realize that  ALWAYS "some" people will remain EVIL no matter what you do. It just happens that it took you 3 years to find out. They will take advantage of you. Selfish people always asks themselves what is it in for me?? IF you let this discourage you then you are giving her so much power than she deserves. Why would you make her or allow her to stop you from enjoying life  and be happy because of what she did to you in the past???

NOW  if you are in a relationship don't do thing for your girl because you want to impress her. DO THEM BCUZ U LOVE HER. Because if you are trying to impress her or make her stay with you then you are ALSO selfish because what you are doing is "BUYING" acceptance and relationship worthiness. You are not being yourself and allow your true kind nature to blossom in her presence. You are counting your deeds of kindness. BAD MOVE!!!!

For-instance, if you go to the shelter and give a poor BLIND man a pair of jeans. Maybe they are your best selection. Do you expect him to SEE them as you do? of course not! He is blind!!!!  But don't you give them him because you think he needs them and you know he CANT have them so you are giving him an opportunity to have them. ISn't that the nice thing to DO? Okay wait, what if, say, he doesn't even say, "thank you". WILL YOU TAKE THEM BACK???? really will you? Of course not! Why? because it is the act of kindness that matters. IF YOU DO, then you will go away with your jeans mad at him AND YOU PROBABLY SHOULD NEVER HAVE TRIED IN THE FIRST PLACE. You were buying RECOGNITION or HEALING YOUR SELFISH HEART by making yourself feel better because you did something good to someone AND THEY SAW IT!!!!....

See, just think of it this way: Your girl didn't know how much you cared and even if she did she didn't care. So THANK GOD it took you 3 years to figure out she wasn't the right person... What if u found out she was that type of person after you invested in  a marriage or 20 years.  And now you have kids and more complications.

You say your life is better. THEN be better for yourself. Don't dwell in the past..... Here are my suggestions and I'm sure others have tried them as well:

1)Don't keep anything that she owned that makes you remember her. Like email accounts, phone numbers, EVEN PHOTOS!!!!!,

2)Don't go near her or even her friends for  a while unless YOU HAVE TO...

3)Try to do different things with your new girlfriend

4)LISTEN to her[your new girlfriend], TALK to her and the LISTEN to her. AND then LISTEN some more....

5)Think of that one thing your ex hated about you. Did you hate it about u too? If so, try to change that....

If it even helps, believe this: WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND.

U r better off without her man... CELEBRATE THAT.....

I once had a girl... SHe lied to the police, I got arrested, rested in jail for a while then got released.. CAME home she was gone with everything I had. It was hard to forgive.... But I did just that.....

I FEEL SO GREAT ABOUT MY LIFE RIGHT NOW:

You know why? Because she is not a part of my life. She is not a part of my success.

DO I RESENT HER? Nope!!!! Matter-fact, I HOPE SHE LEARNS TO BE BETTER.....

Answer 13

Just keep dating! the more women you have in your life, the more you'll grow and the less she'll be on your mind. One day she'll see how far you've come and maybe will try to get you back. That's when you deliver the blow of vengeance like "ugh, sorry you're not hot enough for me anymore"

Answer 14

You want my honest answer? It's just going to take some time.

One thing I do... activities that remind me of the person, go out and do them with your guy friends (and for the females the "girls").  It helps me to replace those "meh" feelings with more good times.  Start there... it should help take the edge off.