How do you get over someone you simply cannot have?

Question

I don't want to give out details, but I just can't be with this person, so there's no point in just telling him how I feel about him. I've been in love with him for 2 years, and I need to get over him. I'm in denial about this, but I finally realized now. He's the reason I've been subconsciously rejecting all the guys that have approached me with some sign of interest. It's really ruining my love life. How can I get over him?

Thank you so much.

Answer 1

Just remember this: Almost everyone is not exactly who they seem once you have them. I obsessed over a guy, finally got him, and then soon got tired of him & discovered the little quirks that attracted me to him (i.e. his accent, his protectiveness, etc.) soon became annoying. I couldn't believe all the time I wasted fantasizing about what life would be like with him. And don't forget that the more great qualities about this person that you think about, the more you hype him up subconsciously. Anytime you feel like you can't get over him just listen to "Unanswered Prayers" by Garth Brooks http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b69LiTM_7...

I'm not a country fan but I love this song & almost everyone can identify with the lyrics.

Answer 2

Good question Sam, For some reason you have fallen for this person but to be honest, if he hasn,t been able to tell how you feel or if he is already spoken for then you have to face the truth that it just isn,t meant to be. There are virtually millions of people every day that run across the same problem. I for one have felt strongly attracted to someone else even though i,m married and I love my wife, but being a man of my word, I took a vow to forsake all others no matter how good looking or how friendly or easy to talk to they may have been and I realized that if I ever did go against my beliefs, I knew that sooner or later it would come back to hurt me and the one I loved and to me it just wasn,t worth a night of doing wrong. We have choices to make every day and it is hard to be human and keep from doing what we know is wrong. If he is just not interested in you then you may be saving yourself from a broken heart later on. So many good hearted people give their hearts in true love only to be used and discarded later. There is a reason for everything and maybe this is not meant to be your life mate. Good luck in whatever decision you make. I think you will be a lot better off.

Answer 3

just try...really try, don't hope. and do your best to get with him.

Answer 4

Well i know exactly how you feel. I've had feelings for someone i can't have for just as long if not longer but stored them to the back of my mind - probably not as strong feelings though. I'm also currently falling for a guy who lives halfway across the world from me!

But what I can say for your situation, is that if you really truly want to get over this guy, you cant just 'do it', what you desperately need is some form of closure. A way of being able to say to yourself, 'okay, i don't need to obsess over this guy a second more!' Perhaps you should write a letter to him about how you feel but burn it instead of sending it to him. You need to be face to face with him and gain a mental understanding that you don't actually need him on your mind because you are your own growing person entitled to a love life that is untainted. You need to be more open minded about the guys that you meet and learn to free up some space in your heart!

Good Luck!

Answer 5

Admit that it hurts, accept the feelings, and accept the fact that you cannot have that person. Then, distract yourself in productive ways: Get a hobby, listen to music that doesn't have lyrics to bring back the feelings, tidy up your desk, do things that you've been putting off that need to be done (hey, we all have those). It fades in time. Trust me, I've been there!

Answer 6

well there is obviously a reason that you cant be with this person? whatever it is you need to focus on it.Also pick out the bad points in him :P Also he obviously doesnt feel the same way, so there isn't any point you wasting your time on him, (trust me i know from past experience :P), you could be getting to know one of the guys that have shown an interest in you. Maybe you should start accepting some of the offers youve been getting from other guys and go out on a few dates and get to know them. You could find that your really into one of them and you'll totally forget about the other guy. Goodluck i hope it all turns out well x

Answer 7

Stop, look, and move on.  We all make mistakes, now it"s time to learn.Get out there slowly and let Mr. right find you. A woman should never look for the man, just keep your eyes open(smile). More power to you.

Answer 8

Maybe it's not a lack of being over him - but a lack of trust in your ability to choose someone who won't hurt you.

Maybe it's a lack of guys who are really up to par.

Just get on with life - YOUR life - not some guy's life.

Then, when a guy shows up, GO SLOWLY.