How do you get over something if..?

Question

long story short. me and my girlfriend were having lots of problems towards the last 6 months we were together. We tried to work it out, and we were doing ok working things out. Now she's prego with another mans baby. We talked and I told her we could work through it. She's still unsure. So after a week of driving myself crazy, confused I told her we need to walk away. I felt like I needed to say this, because she wasn't clear on her feelings. For 2 days, I've been ok. Getting my mind set on being alone, getting over this. Well, today we happen to talk. And everything was alright. I brought the topic of her being hurt...and wow, she let loose on me. She started crying, telling how bad I hurt her, how bad everything hurts. And, she wants to come back home with me, but she has to put her guard up. she says she cant keep running back to me. She can't keep running back to heartache and pain. She says she's not over me, and would come home but shes afraid of the heartache and pain, and can't keep giving me chances to hurt her. She wants to give us another try but can't because she doesn't want to get hurt and her being prego with someone else baby is going to complicate things even more.. Here's the battle I'm fighting in my head....I want her and i am willing to accept her mistakes and get through this together, I'm willing to accept responsibility and help with her pregnancy. I chose to walk away because I felt like her heart isn't there anymore, but obviously it is, so now I'm not sure if I made the right decision. I don't want to lose her, and definitely, don't want to stick around getting hurt and confused. I don't want to wake up one day and wonder what if I would have given her a little longer and pressed the situation. But I also don't want to force her to stay, if shes not 100% sure what to do. I'm sure, almost 100% positive she wants to come home, but she wants to block me out, cause I've hurt her so bad. I don't want to give up, but if there no chance on her coming back I will. and does anyone think this wall she's trying to keep up against me can come down? I asked her if she loved the other guy she was seeing, and she said, honestly no. But she liked him enough to try and love him, and since he wanted to be with her, and take care of this baby, she feel like she needs to give it a chance and maybe she can learn to love him. She says she's given me chance after chance, and maybe this was time to give someone else a chance. But shes not in love with him and I feel shes only trying to be with him cause she's prego. How do I find peace with this, without feeling like I made the wrong decision.

Answer 1

holy c**p.........

she's knocked up with someonelses kid

and she's  laying conditions on you

you are willing to accept another mans responsibility

and accept her conditional or nonexistant love in return.......

the little s**t is giving you a chance now

it that more or less it?

you need to run out the door screaming and not look back.....

who needs this c**p......you must be extremely hard up to

consider accepting this for your life........

call her up right now and tell her good bye and good luck

Answer 2

You ever think maybe the reason she doesn't come back home to you is because she is afraid you won't be able to get over the fact that the kid belongs to someone else?  I think that is what the problem is, by the way you have this written.  You say your willing to let go of the past and accept the child, but in your last sentence you ask how to find peace with it all?  If peace isn't within you by taking her back, do you feel it will later develop or something?  I don't.  I think you want her back but your changed so much by all of this and in all actuality, you cannot accept it.  

As many times as you ask this question seems your looking for a magic cure for your feelings and that isn't going to happen.  

You might want to work on how you hurt her so bad, or maybe post what you did because without knowing there is not much more anyone could say to help you.  Whatever it was, it must have been bad because it's enough she no longer has any faith in you.  Since she is about to have a child you might want to let her go if that's what she wants.

Answer 3

She has already decided for both of you.  That she wants to try and make it work with the father of the child.

When both of you speak of your relationship,  the words hurt and pain come up a lot.  Perhaps it's best you call it quits once and for all.

Answer 4

run...run.....run!