How do you get past the fact that the last words you said or sent to someone were cruel

Question

I had an unhealthy relationship with someone and i decided to end it because it was causing me anxiety but i loved this person i just could not deal with the drama that had gone on between us so i cut him off and the last message he recieved from me was cruel. Well months passed and i found out that he had been shot and killed by his half brother ..He was 19.

Guilt does not begin to describe what i feel.. there is no second chance to reconciliation this time no way i can tell him how much he meant to me .. i dont know how to get past this ..

Answer 1

I suggest that you create a web page honoring his memory and relating your regret about that last encounter.

Even if nobody reads your account, that process of articulating those feelings will tend to mollify your regret and guilt.

And, if you don't want to speak of your emotions in a public forum, still go through the process of writing about your feelings.  That process should have the same effect as the public disclosure.

In fact, the process of posting that question probably helped somewhat.