How do you get someone to understand??

Question

ok me and my boyfriend broke up cuz i was raped and i was haveing such a hard time he told me he would be here for me and then lefted me when i needed him most see i have had to much going on if he loved me why did he leave me that's what i say we dated for 5 years i really loved him more than anythang i still do is there anyway i can try to get him to understand all this and that i do love him and want thangs back to the way thay were or do you think that if he loved me he would have never leftd me and that i should find someone better?

Answer 1

st. francis prayer: exerpt: ...it is better to understand than to be understood...

that is how you get understanding

Answer 2

I think you should find someone better. If he left you, he is not coming back.

Answer 3

I'm so sorry.  

What you are going through it so incredibly difficult for you, that he probably just couldn't take it anymore.  See, what you probably don't see is how much he was messed up about it, too.  He surely had just as much pain as you, but he can leave some of it behind by breaking up with you.  You have to carry it with you until you can get through it all.

You need a support group to help you out.  I really don't know enough about it, and I doubt anyone here can give you what you really need.  Call your doctor tomorrow, and see what you can get involved in.  You probably can get some counselling and get into some sort of group of women who have been through it, and can help you too.

Please find someone to help.

As for your title question.  You can't.  No one can understand exactly what you have been through, and men simply can't get what you have been through, anyway.  Not in the real world.  It's rare.

Answer 4

He might understand perfectly, but be unable to deal with it.  Love is not enough.  Sorry to burst your bubble and I am not trying to sound mean, but it is the truth.  If he hung in their for five years it sounds like he was making an honest effort, but in the end was unable to deal with whatever needs of his were not being met.  Everyone has a breaking point and even though he loved/loves you he might have met his.  Just as you are unable to work through your issue to make him happy, he apparently wasn't able to work through his.  If the two of you really love each other, you will come together again at a time when you are both ready to be together.  If not, it wasn't meant to be.  If I were you, I wouldn't worry about him right now.  It sounds like you have bigger issues which need taken care of.

Answer 5

if he isnt there for you when you need it the most, he's not worth your time. it wasn't your fault he was raped& he should be understanding of this! =x