Question:

How do you get stubborn children to cooperate?

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I work in a kindergarten classroom for children with disabilities and emotional problems. The one student in particular that I am to be working with can be very stubborn. We used a behavior modification clip board with him (he gets stickers when he is behaving and when he has 12 he gets to do something fun like music, art, or books). The clip board worked great for almost a week, but the past few days it hasn't been working well at all. He does not seem interested in it anymore. He said he didn't want the reward.

What are some other techniques to try with children who are terribly stubborn?

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  1. Try to "reverse psychology" them into wanting to do something.  If it seems like his idea or he appears to be in control of the decision-making process, he is more likely to buy into it.  

    Or, if it's something other kids are interested in (or more willing to do), you can get them involved and then see if the stubborn ones will jump on the bandwagon.

    You can also try something like...

    "Remember how good you were at ______?  Can you show me how you did that again?"


  2. i work with a blind/autistic child that is very stubborn. before i started working with her, i though i knew a lot of people that were stubborn. however, she is like all of them rolled into one. it just amazed me some days. however, i set up a reward system with her that seems to work. she likes cards. shes plays with them. on most days there is nothing that she won't do for a card. however, there are days that the cards don't work. the key is staying one step ahead of them and keeping the rewards new. no child is going to work all year, or even 2 weeks in a row, for the same reward. talk to the child and ask them what they would like to do as a reward. we listen to music, go talk to the principle to tell her what a good day she's having, we eat snacks, anything. sometimes you really have to be creative.

  3. sometimes, give him what he wants. children and teens are terribly misunderstood, and if you compromise, you get what you want, just maybe not as fast. parents need to learn this, geesh

  4. Depending on the age of the child, giving him or her reasons may help, so do choices. Eg. we have to do these things, in what order would you like to do them today?

  5. Give the student choices to let him feel like he has some control.

    For example, with my own stubborn students, we let them have small choices like "would you like to use the red crayon, or the blue crayon."

    When given a choice, they feel like they are in more control of the situation, and will be more willing to cooperate.

    Just something to try,

    good luck!

  6. There are some principles of reinforcement. These principles are:

    Satiation - This seems to be the case with your student. He is tired of what is being offered. Sometimes you are giving too much of the reinforcer also.

    Deprivation - This means that the child is more likely to find something motivating because he is not getting the reinforcer as much as he would like.

    Frequency - Sometimes the frequency of reinforcement is at too low or too high a rate. Too low and the child does not actually achieve reinforcement or gets it only occasionally. He or she becomes disinterested. Too high a rate and the child gets satiated. Start out with a fairly high frequency 1:1 or 2:1 and then fade it to a intermittent schedule.

    One of your respondents mentioned a reinforcement menu, which works very well.

  7. So why do you think the sticker/ token system you had stopped working? It might be easier to start with something that was working and fix it instead of starting over.

    Come up with a reinforcer/ menu. Make sure you have 7-15 different items on the menu. Ask the child specifically what things he likes. It could be a specific snack or activity. Cheap things that have worked for me include a single coloring page of preferred cartoon character or sports activty, being allowed a special privileage taking attendance to office or some other errand (rule or made up for the kid). Being allowed to line up first or have first choice of a book or song.

    My other question would be is he getting enough rewards. HOw long does it take for him to earn his 12 stickers. Some kids decide that the effort is not worth the reward being offered so you either have to give more frequent rewards or bigger rewards so the pay off is worth the work.

    Also check to make sure the work load is appropriate and not too hard or too easy.

    IF things persist consider finding someone to do an official behavior support plan.

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