How do you get them to do their chores?

Question

In October of last year my husband and I split, and now it's just me and my 13 year old son (from a previous relationship). For a while he was fine, he was doing extra stuff around the house, being respectful, and we got along great. Recently he's started to throw tantrums, like he's 3 again, whenever I ask him to do his very simple chores. He picks up dog p**p, cleans the guest bathroom, and cleans his room. I expect his chores to get done on the weekend, and every single weekend it's a battle to get him to do anything. I've taken away the computer privileges, the phone privileges, I've added extra chores...I don't know how to get him to just do his chores. Anyone dealing with this? What would you suggest?

Answer 1

As a father of two great grown kids and grandfather of 4, I can share one thing that worked well for us. We fought the clean your room battle and here's what we did. Don't get nervous, this really worked. If they promised to do the other chores, they could do whatever they wanted with their room. We just kept the door shut. If they want friends to see their room, so what. If they want to live like pigs in their own room, ok, but the other stuff HAS to be done. This worked for both our son and daughter and now our son, the biggest slob then, is now a neatnik and keeps his shop, truck, horse barn and everything else is perfect order. If the next 5 years don't kill ya, you'll just get stronger. Good luck and hang in there. Grandkids are worth it!! peace

Answer 2

Try giving him a weekend off.

And tell him that he gets one weekend off, and he can choose that weekend.

So if he says he's doing "too many chores" you can just keep letting him know he got his weekend off.

And then everytime after that he doesn't listen, add on a chore.

Answer 3

He is being a teenager.

But make a reward system.  

Answer 4

what i'd suggest is dont take away privleges, and don't add chores!!!! you should just try to bond together, maybe do the chores with him to show that you do it too. i dont really know exactly, but if you take away, then he'll just get even worse. hope i helped, :)

Answer 5

i always paid my son for the chores they did do... the more money they wanted, the more chores they would do... i wrote out a price list for each chore...

as for his attitude problem, it's kind of like going through the terrible 2's again... it slowly improves, unless he started experimenting with drugs & alcohol...

has his sleeping, or eating habits lessened? what about his bathing habits? does he change in to clean clothes daily? no sleep, no eat, no bath, and waring the same clothes for a couple days are signs of drugs...

i hope for the best... take care, barb

Answer 6

I can't say I'm dealing with this but I have seen this kind of stuff before. There would be a personal reason why he's acting out or possibly he just doesn't want to obidient. You could try using tactics of if he complete a mandatory task, reward him someway and make him feel like he did a good job. Just a suggestion.

Answer 7

slap him upside his head he'll learn to do chores cause he wouldn't expect u to hit him he gonna think he can rule u

Answer 8

take computer, take phone, CELLPHONES; for long amounts of time; we'll change, as a teenager myself.... and when I say take computer, TAKE THE MOUSE, or the keyboard; maybe both... put them in your trunk so he cant find them... tell him when they're done, he can have them both back.... tell him he can't leave the house, ttaunt us; we will do everything we can do to prove ourselves.

Answer 9

Instead of con sequencing him for not doing it. Award him for each time he does do it. Hes going through alot of hormone changes now. So it's now where you have to patient. Rewarding is an easy way of getting things done. Like say when your done we'll go get ice cream, or whatever reward system you choose. Goodluck!

Answer 10

I usually just tell my boys (12 yr old twins) that they go no where and they cannot watch TV or go on the coputer until their work is done.  I  know what your going through.  I am divorced and I have a hard time with my boys.  Especially after they have been with their dad.  But you got to be firm.  If this is a new behavior then maybe you need to have a talk.  Does he have any new friends?