How do you get your child to be comfortable talking with you?

Question

My daughter is almost 7. My dream is for us to be very close and feel comfortable talking with each other about anything, especially as she gets older. We talk now all the time about many many things (our feelings, thing that happen, bother her etc), but the other day she told me she had a dream about 2 people, but was very reserved on telling me what happened in her dream. I didn't push it at all, and she never did tell me what happened, but now this has me worried that she is losing her comfort in talking to me. I know not telling me a dream is no big deal, but to me this is like a sign that she's feeling uncomfortable as she's getting older. How do I turn this around before it's too late?

I know there are parents out there who talk about everything with your children (even the things you don't want to hear), so how did you get to that level of comfort with your children?

Answer 1

Well first off, its only a dream, maybe she was embarrased by it or something. You just need to keep her trust, and mke her feel as comfortable as possible around you, and you two hould stay close.

Answer 2

well i have three kids and i have always been honest with them about everything i have never hidden anything.

i have always had an open mind and always said they can talk to me about anything and i will not get mad or cross, if they have done something wrong i have always been of the mind that if they tell me the truth i wont react as bad as if they lie to me.

sitting and talking like you are is a very good start and it will some where she will be able to confide in you about alsorts ...

for example my son is coming up 13 and he always asks can i talk to you mum on your own so the others go and play so we can have one to one and they all know they can do this. he was worried because he liked a girl at school and did not know what to say to her.

my daughter was having problems at school because she has not developed b*****s yet and all her friends have i was like you wanting to let them know they can always coem to you no matter what it is you will be there and as long as she knoes this thehn she will come to you  

Answer 3

Wow you got some really good feedback - the key to close relationships is time.  You need to spend time together developing a bond and it doesn't really matter what it is but it has to be something interactive - so not TV or movie.  That opens you up to free conversation and helps people approach all kind of topics even if they aren't planning to talk about it.  My daughter and I sometimes play board games after her 2 younger sibs go to bed.  It lets us laugh and relax and I find out some little tidbits of what may be on her mind.

Also, great read:  How To Talk So Your Kids Will Listen and Listen so Your Kids Will Talk.  

Answer 4

the bigest thing is starting young. and your already on the right track for that. the second this is making her feel okay. you dont wanna pressure her or make her feel like she has too. dont ask her to talk, you can start a conversation by talking about yourself and she will contribute. good luck, i wish i had that sort of relation ship with my mom

Answer 5

I will be very honest, I am not there yet. I am only 20 yrs. old and my daughter is going to be 2. But I know from experience with my mom. And know why I lost my trust in my mom. I was first of all say to you that you are doing a great job with you child. My mom had to work a lot so I never had someone to tell my concerns or problems with. So I would say never be unavailable. Always let your child know that you will always be there for her or him whenever they need you. And that you will never be upset at what they have to say. Because that was always my biggest fear, was getting in trouble. So that would be things to look into.  

Answer 6

try taking her on "dates" to starbucks and such. i wish my mother had done that for me. if you take her out for ice cream or whatever once a week, so that when its date night, she'll already have it in her mind that this is the time to bond with mom.

Answer 7

My children and I did most of our talking while engaged in another activitylike riding in the car or washing the dishes. (In my view dishwashers have greatly interfered with open discussions in the family -- ha ha). We were focused on something neutral rather than each other so it was not so threatening.

Find an activity to do together, like gardening or painting, ,where you can work side-by-side and talk while you're doing it.