How do you get your child to stop talking in class?

Question

My child seems to be getting into trouble at school more often lately. She's 8...in the 3rd grade....I've gotten several calls from the teacher, notes in her agenda, etc. It's normally that she is talking when told not to and not staying on task. My husband and I recently used what we call "jail time" ...we started out just taking privileges, but that didn't seem to work..so jail time is we put her in her room for the evening and there is no communication between us and her...we serve her dinner in her room and monitor her bathroom trips. Then at bedtime, we explain that we love her and again why she had the jail time. The one time we did it...it worked for a couple of weeks...now the trouble has started again...so tonight is "jail time"...I know consistency is key and we are consistent, but what else can I do to help her? Her teacher suggested I spank her and I just don't think that will be helpful in my child's case.

Answer 1

I see some problems with this "jail time". How is a kid to learn to respect the law when they grow up if jail time just means sitting in there room and not being talked too?

Lets look at the classroom. Where does she sit? When is she being so bad? Talking to her friend besides her? talking so everyone can hear her which means yelling?

Many times teachers are so bombarded with so many students they get lazy (my mother is a teacher and tells me such things).  

They feel it is all the childs fault but takes little responsability for there own actions.

Find out when she is talking, if to her friend next to her move her. If loudly to the point of yelling teach her inside voice, if she is trying to get the teachers attention for help the teacher needs to do her job and you may want to go to class and help your child.

Your kid may even have hearing problems and she does not even know how loud she is being.....

Kids very rarely are born bad, this is learned by the adults around them. We also can not put everything onto a public school teacher who is under payed and over worked......they are our  kids right?

Plus how is the kid supposed to talk to you about her problems if you are isolating her? Ignoring a child is not going to teach them anything, but maybe you are not there and do not care (tell her you care all you want to, actions speak louder then words).

Good luck

Answer 2

My question would be what is the teacher doing to get the positive results out of your child. Is she being disciplined at school and receiving double the consequences at home. Is the teacher allowing the class the be disruptive. I hate those tattle tale sheets. I feel like they abuse them dropping it all on the parents for lack of the teachers control. Just a thought.

Answer 3

limit what she can do on daily basis including computer usages, tv time, etc. cut the entertainment if she doesnt want to stop..

Answer 4

I personally think your ' Jail Time ' is ruining your realasionship wiht your daughter. Why not just let her rome the house but she is not alowwed to speak to her parents? That jsut makes it seem like her punishment is loosing time with you. That's harsh, no its horrible.

The TEACHER suggested you spank her? Som teacher.. dont spank your kid. That will make it EVEN worse.

Answer 5

She could have a learning disability. Smart kids have them...and often do not get disnosed to later in life. She could have ADHD or some other disorder...which prevents her from learning to the best of her ability and therefore she deals with it by talking so she does not become frustrated.

Answer 6

Pay attention to them. A child behaves oddly because they want special attention - I don't think punishment is the answer

Answer 7

according to me u r doing just the right thing.. Ask her why she talks in class ( dont ask her straight on! be more gentle..)

Discuss wht she finds difficult or stuff like tht.. maybe she just wants some attention..i hav seen it in some cases..

keep up whatever ur doin..just try to think through her perspective..just DONT SPANK HER !!

regards

knowledgeseeker

Answer 8

maybe he needs to be challenged. he might be bored.

Answer 9

You might think not... but it usually does... interestingly....

Answer 10

. l am weeping for that poor little girl.

The last thing she needs is punishment at home and l sure hope you're not listening to the idiots advising physical violence

This little girl just doesn;t "get it", what school is about. Lots of kids don't., In the States we medicate them into silence.

The teacher doesn't know her job, not her fault, nobody taught her.

The teacher's job is to NOT to teach subjects but to teach pupils how to learn the subjects.

It's obvious that this kid needs guidance from the teacher.

A simple shhh will do, or her name said and a finger across closed lips signaled when she looks up. Changing her seat when she forgets also works, not as punishment but to reinforce the concept that the classroom is not the place to talk. (The seat by the teacher;s desk is reserved for the kid who acts out physically.)

She is talking because she is not engaged in her work. She is not listening because she doesn't understand the teacher is talking to her specifically, to her the teacher is talking simply because that's what teachers do. If she was told to "listen" she doesn't know what that means.

The child can't tell you what the problem is because she doesn't know. She only knows talking is natural so that's what she does.

Read books to her and have her talk about the pictures and the actions and her opinion- that's teaching her to be engaged in her work.

Teach her to pay attention by playing "touch your nose with your right finger and put your left hand on your hip" etc. from across the room, which is from where teacher's voice is heard.  

Another game to increase attention span: Ask her an engaging question like "what;s your favorite desert", in view of a clock with a second hand., don;t allow her to respond for 1 minute, gradually increase the time. At the same time teach her what she might think about, occupy her mind, while waiting...

You can teach a child anything using technique, kindness and respect- Bribes are not needed, just compliments. All you teach with punishment is fear.

Answer 11

I have a 7 year old daughter in 2nd grade who talks and talks and talks in class! When I speak to her about it she says "but Mom, my mouth just needs to keep working". Her teacher has dealt with the situation by having her sit by herself right next to the teacher's desk. Lots of little girls this age seem to be obsessed with chattering away, I find. Talk to her teacher and see if she can sit in a place with the fewest distractions possible. Encourage and praise her for keeping on task. Limit activities which promote a short attention span like television, computer games, etc. Sit and read with your daughter every night and praise her for paying attention to the book. Ask her questions about what you are reading. Good luck!

Answer 12

I wold tell that teacher it's her problem while your child is in her class and she should be finding a way handle this with behavor management.  I would also call her out on the spanking how dare she recommend that!!!  

The teacher can take away recess time when she talks, put her desk up front next to the teacher.  There are things the teacher can do there is no need for her putting it on you to punish her for talking in class that is just not right!

Answer 13

I'm a big fan of rewarding positive behavior.  Offer her positive reinforcement for staying on task and listening to the teacher.  Set a time line and tell her if you don't hear anything negative from her teacher in x amount of time she'll get a reward.  Reward her with something like a new CD, a trip to the movies, a new t-shirt, an extra 1/2 hour before bed . . . or anything she would enjoy.  Maybe since she's a chatter the reward could be having a friend over after school.

Good luck :o)

Answer 14

Talk to her  teacher about things she can do to help.. IDK where you live but school is almost out over here. No wait it is.  Well talk to her teacher and see if she can work out something like if she doesnt talk all week she can get a prize.

Answer 15

What I can see here is that you are punishing your daughter for two things:  (1) being herself, ie highly vocal, and (2) having a terrible teacher who doesn't keep her interest.

The punishment is called "jail time," which communicates to your child that what she does is a crime.  Jail time involves the loss of precious family time, further communicating to her that she is committing a crime.  As you have found, it frightens her into unnatural submission - for a while.  But then her real self, which cannot be killed, comes to the surface again.

The teacher's suggestion is to advocate the use of violence to beat her into submission.  The teacher's goal, of course, is to force all children to follow her agenda, no matter how artificial and harmful, no matter how much it goes against the child's natural learning style.

In this case, the best thing you can do for your child is to advocate for her, rather than following a schoolteacher's dictate that children's natural personalities are some kind of loathsome thing.  Therefore, you will have to advocate for your child.  This means finding an educational setting in which she is challenged, interested and appreciated for who she really is.  Most likely, you will not find this in a traditional classroom setting.

Answer 16

Well the school year is just about over but,  I think she may talk in class because she is a smart child who gets her work done quickly and then has nothing else to do but disrupt the class.

Give her a book or coloring book or another quiet activity she can do while the rest of the class is catching up.

Now to play devils advocate

I was shocked to hear about your Jail time. Not so much that she is grounded to her room but, that you are with holding parent communication from her. She needs to be talked to even if you are mad at her. You need to discuss the good things she does and the not so good things.

I don't see any teacher suggesting you spank your child. That just sounds way to odd for me to comprehend.

I applaud you however for being consistent with her and hopefully it will work.