How do you get your toddler to help out a little with chores?

Question

I think it is important for a child to have some of their own chores, like cleaning their bedroom. Every time I ask my daughter to do any type of chore she will throw a huge tantrum and start crying uncontrollably, even if I just ask her to pick up one of her toys. I'm not really sure where I went wrong with teaching her the basics of cleaning. What are some things that I can try to get her to help out a little? I have tried rewards(for around 3 months)-like if you put your clothes in the hamper you will get a juice box. I have also tried taking away privileges if she doesn't do something that I ask her, but that also didn't really work that well.

Answer 1

Have her to model other children that help out around their house.  Maybe you can make cleaning fun and also give him a reward.  If she feels as though it's a task, she probably won't be willing to do it.  

Answer 2

I dont think a toddler should have to do chores !!! Toddler life is a time of freedom and happiness and no work!

If you insist then at least do it together with her

Answer 3

Try to turn it into a game.. maybe help her and sing the "clean up" song. Make it a race, tell her that you bet she can clean up her toys faster than you...

Answer 4

Make sure that whatever you do it is age appropriate.  If it's not age appropriate, you'll be causing more harm than good.

Answer 5

My baby isnt at that stage but with cleaning my room mum used to just say okay we are cleaning your room come and help and she would help us do it (Im a triplet so there was alot of mess in our room with all our toys) That usually worked

Answer 6

I would think helping her, in the beginning, do her chores would help a bit. Maybe you could put some music on and play around a little while getting the job finished.

Making chores into some type of game often worked for my little sister when she was pretty young. A game like where you have so long to put up things or whoever finishes the job first wins, things like that.

Not sure if I helped or not, but I tried! Hope you figure it out.

Answer 7

make their chores fun and educational. make sure it's not too complicated for your toddler to understand. giving your child chores to do is a good idea and gets them to know the feeling of responsibility.

Answer 8

OK, I can tell you what's wrong, right off the bat.

She is doing it for YOU.

Just like potty training, or anything else you try to train kids to do regularly, you don't get very far if they think they are doing it for somebody else.  

Here's my suggestion:  what ever you want to train her to do should first be like a game that the two of you are playing.  Something that SHE is getting some fun out of.  Then, it will become second nature, and she will not even remember why she started doing it in the first place.  

You might need to back off for a short time, so she will forget that you wanted her to do this for you.

Then, just start making a game out of it.  "Let's put all these clothes in here."  See how far away she has to stand, to toss them in there and not miss, like the game on Bozo, where the kids would toss balls into buckets to win prizes.  

But I would not attach a prize to anything like that.  The accomplishment, and you being with her, achieving this together, should be its own reward.  If there is a prize... then she gets the idea that it is OPTIONAL.  And eventually, it's not going to be optional, it will be mandatory, see?

Answer 9

Wait for her to ask you for something (biscuit/lolly, etc).  Then ask her to do something to help you.  Tell her that you will give her what she wants when she has helped you.  If that doesn't work, tell her that you will put her toys away and she won't be able to play with them if she doesn't pick them up after she has finished playing with them.

Answer 10

You have to make them look like a ton of fun!  Set a timer and see if she can pick up all of her toys in 1 min.  See if you can make a basket with the laundry.  Turn on some music and dance while you clean.  Give her a feather duster and let her dust the furniture.  Try letting her clean along side you, scrubbing the floor, doing the laundry, washing the dishes.  Doing things with mommy is always more fun than cleaning their room;)

Answer 11

Make it less of a chore and responsibility and more of a fun thing that needs to be done. Like the person above me said, making it into a game is a good idea. Bribes can backfire, taking away privileges can just anger a kid. I had this same situation with my much-younger sister and we made her a rewards chart while making her chores "game time". Worked like a charm.

Answer 12

If you have to take something away from her then it never was a privilege.  Privileges need to be earned rather than handed out and then "taken away" because she knows that eventually she will get back what was taken away.   By expecting her to earn something you set the rules.  She doesn't get television unless she cleans her room.   It's that simple, then if she doesn't clean her room follow through, no television.   Of course I will tell you that the more you hound her about cleaning her room the more she is going to protest.  I have three kids and find that when I don't keep after them about their room they will get around to cleaning it.  I simply close the door as I walk by.  There have been several occasions when I have knocked on their door, entered their room and it was virtually spotless.  

Answer 13

she's a toddler, she doesn't understand.

Answer 14

She is a toddler and she is not at an age to understand completely.You need to give her time.When my children were small I limited the amount of toys she had.Then I made it a game of her helping me put the toys away.And for every toy she helped put away we would clap and I would tell her what a good girl she was.As she got older the I made a reward chart and at the end of the week she would get more TV time or we would do something special.But give her time she is still learning.

Answer 15

I agree.  I think it's very important for children to learn at an early age to help out with the chores.  Try making it a game.  For example, put on a CD and see how many toys the both of you can pick up and put away before the song ends.  

Answer 16

Make a game out of it.  Me and my boys will play "basketball" and toss them in to the toy box.  Or we'll count items as we put them away...anything you can think of to make a game out of picking up will work.

edit:  see...and mine are only 2, so if they can do, so can your 4 year old.  I liked the idea with the CD and seeing how much can get done before the song is over.

Answer 17

I have 4 year old twins, so I have twice the mess. I set a timer for anywhere from 5-10 minutes [ depends on the size of the mess] when the timer dings, I get the toys laying on the floor, they get them back the next day. I have only gotten toys once, I have been using this method for a month, it also works on getting dressed ect..........

Answer 18

just try and make it fun for her, so she see's it as something she wants to do-rather than a punishment

Answer 19

I find my son will help if I act like I need his help... "Whew boy there sure are a lot of blocks.  Can you help mommy put them in the bag?"  Then I make sure I thank him for his help and tell him I just couldn't have done it without him.  You can see that it makes him happy to feel useful.  He helps me put clothes in the dryer too.  I hand them to him from the washer and he puts them in the dryer then closes the door.  If I just ask/tell him to pick something up I get the same response you do.

He's just two so I don't really expect him to do a lot; like go clean his room, but I figure I'm teaching him the basics.  He's learning that it's good to help out.  He'll put something in the trash if I ask him to and now if I drop something he runs over, picks it up and hands it to me.

Start small and try to make it fun.  Make her think that you really need her help and give her big praise when she does help out.  Don't put too much pressure on her.  Live by examply and your good habits will start to stick after a while.

Good Luck!

Answer 20

It's a little hard to answer this without knowing her age, but it might be something in your tone of voice.  If you are trying to use a firm commanding voice she might be hearing it as angry and scary.

Answer 21

follow what you say through and do take away priviledges.

also encourage it as a happy thing.

do it together =]

etc

Answer 22

try to make it a game if they enjoy chores they will be more inclined to help later on in life