How do you handle a pathological liar?

Question

I am in a relationship with someone that is a pathological liar. He lies about everything. Even little things that don't matter.He often gets his facts mixed up and his family realizes he has a problem and his friends have called him out before on his lies. He often lies to make hisself look good like he was a Navy Seal or he has written songs, he has won a lot of bar fights, etc. As his girlfriend it hurts me because I feel like I can't trust him on other issues like where he was at last night, etc. He can never tell the truth regardless. How do I cope with this? I love him unconditionally but I think he needs help and it causes a fight when I question him about things but I can't live like this either. Can somebody help???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

I divorced mine. And glad I did. Now I have a man whose words I can believe.

I don't think there is a cure for the pathological liar.

Answer 2

Don't allow him to lie to you. It is important to call him out on all of his lies. Even if it means you have to embarrass him in public. He may be thinking that the people listening to him are gullible or stupid. It sounds like he's never had anybody test him on his untruthfulness. It's time he realizes that there are consequences for his actions. Liars are thieves who steal peoples pride. Being in the military is a serious commitment that deserves respect, and should never be lied about. You could do nothing and let it bite him in the *** later?

Answer 3

Just try and act normally around him. One really important thing is to remind him often how much you love him.

And try and speak to a doctor or specialist or encourage him to do it...good luck

Answer 4

  First, you have to realize that no matter how much you love an individual, you can not love them enough to fix them up. You say that you love him unconditionally, and then you say "but". Subconsciously, you must realize that this is a problem.. If your best friend was going through this, would you counsel her to go, or to stay? This answer is more important than you realize, as you should have already made yourself your own best friend. Now, if your heart, and your mind are in agreement, then I suggest some couples counselling. His lying is nothing more than an insecure attempt at attention. Good luck.

Answer 5

Well it seems you have a case of what Immanuel Kant calls the kingdom of ends. Someone who lies or as you put it a pathological liar is hard to debate as the reasoning behind. The main thought is mostly for incentives i.e. to get something that other wise being moral or truthful would not allow. However this also has flaws in it.

If you feel that you can cope with that then your on the right path. I would keep up the pressure and don't stop calling out his lies. As being a liar is a learned behavior, one does not come into this world knowing how to lie, if you keep pointing out those traits he'll understand that he can't control everyone's belief in who he really is.

Inasmuch, from what your wrote, I can tell he fears what others think of him. This may be the reason why he adapted this trait to lie. If you feel like learning a little more there are a few books but the one I would like to point out that will help more then others with great foot notes would be Grounding for the Metaphysics of Morals, with, On a Supposed Right to Lie by Immanuel Kant translated by James Ellington.

Answer 6

Is his name Jason?   LOL.  I have known a guy just like that!  Said he sat next to Tiger woods at an astros game and Tiger was buying him beer and Patti LaBelle was on the other side, etc, on & on & on.  Even when you call him out on it, he continues to dig himself in deeper.  And you are right, you can't live like that.  It is a losing battle, no matter how much you love him.  Good luck to you.

Answer 7

nobody has control over him and can him but himself sounds like he does not like himself enough otherwise he would not feel the need to keep impressing people.  he needs praise and attention to know he is good enough as he is.