How do you handle an Underwear Embarrassment as a Babysitter?

Question

Today I was a babysitter for three sweet children who are all in the same kindergarten class. Hank and Brook are brother and sister and they are both very outgoing and popular at school. I brought another boy, Cameron, to Hank and Brook's house after school. Cameron is shy and quiet and there was a problem right away when the three kids went on the swing set and it became obvious that Cameron's new kaki shorts were just a bit big for him and his underwear was sticking out. Poor Cameron would have to be wearing briefs with little racecars all over them and this fact was, of course, hilariously funny to Hank and Brook who were sitting on the swings right next to him. I rushed over to Cameron's swing and pulled up his shorts as Hank and Brook stared and giggled. Everything now seemed fine so I went back inside the house but a few minutes later, Hank and Brook were yelling at me to come back because Cameron's underpants were showing again!!!! I raced back over to Cameron's swing and fixed his pants again. It was just random bad luck that Cameron desperately needed a belt and that it happened right in front of Hank and Brook. How would other people have handled Cameron's problem? When Cameron's mom later found out, she says I should have gotten the kids to play a game where Cameron's briefs wouldn't show or get the kids to watch a video instead. Underwear is a big deal at this age ("I see London, I see France") and it was really cute and funny but not for Cameron. I don't think I will be asked to babysit again which totally sucks. What do you think?? Please be honest.

Answer 1

At kindergarten age, situations are embarrassing only if adults make a big deal out of them. In the situation you describe, I would have come outside and said (as someone else suggested already), "Oops! Your pants are falling down, Cameron! Hey, cool race cars! Why are you guys laughing? I'll bet YOU don't have underwear as cool as Cameron's!" If the others see the babysitter talking as if the situation is normal, then they won't keep making a big deal out of it. In a best case scenario, the kids will start comparing underwear, and then everyone's on the same playing field. Voila! Problem solved. Either way, I would have followed up with, "Let's see if we can find a way to keep your pants up." And the next step is to find a rope or string or something else to use as a temporary belt. No point in making them do something else if they're having fun and getting some sun!

Answer 2

i probably would've got my hair tie and just tied his pants on the side so they weren't loose but what you did was fine, i wouldn't worry to much about it but if it happens again just do that or try to distact the other childrens attention.

Answer 3

As others have mentioned, it is not a big deal and was only made into one b/c you kept rushing out to fix the pants and b/c the mother made it such.

As a nanny and a babysitter myself, I would have handled it just a little differently. First if the other children were making fun of Cameron I would have gone out as if nothing was out of the ordinary. I would have asked Cameron to pull up his own pants(he is old enough to do it himself), and then told the other children that there is nothing to laugh at. I would have reminded them that we all wear underwear and that there is no reason to tease someone. Depending on the children I may have eased the situation by stating that sometimes even adults have pictures on their underpants(such as flowers, etc).

The situation really dictated how you would handle it. If the children were really mean to Cameron you could have talked to them and explained that teasing people hurts people's feelings and asked them if they ever felt bad when someone teased them(make it more personal so they can relate). Remind them that Cameron is their friend, and as a friend they do not want to make someone feel bad.

I do not think you handled the situation all that bad. You sound young, so there is a lot of learning when it comes to children, and I am sure you handled the situation to the best of your ability.

Everyone handles situations differently, Cameron's mother would have handled it differently than you and even me. Is she wrong? No, she just has a different way of dealing with the situation. We all do what works best for us as a care giver. I personally do not like redirection(as Cameron's mom obviously does), since it does not deal with the core problem(teasing), and only solves the problem for a moment. Most likely the pants would have kept falling down and the teasing would have continued.

If you are not asked to babysit again than do not let it get you down. You may be overreacting(they might call you again), you really did nothing wrong as far as the children were concerned. We all make mistakes when dealing with children, even parents don't always do it right.

Answer 4

Well first...... HIS mother should have made sure his pants were staying up. THis kid must have gone through school that way all day... even if the pants were too big and they could nt afford others.... she could have pinned them or used a belt or a rubber band to make sure the kids pants were not falling off all day. SO the first responsibility was with her ,.. not you as a secondary caregiver.

Once this happened... IF it were me , I would have sat the kids down and  talked just a little aoubt how the other 2 would feel if it was them..  not too much as ya dont need tomake it worse for the other kid... but then I would have asked all 3 of them for ideas on what they thought would work best to hold his shorts up.  By involving the other 2 in the solution to the problem ,  they will feel invested in it and be mroe interested in fixing it than teasing.... also  it takes the wrong kind of power away from them and the other child who is being teased feels like they are there to help not tease...

IF this mother does not ask youto babysit again , because of that.. Id say .. probably not a good job anyway...sorry

Kids are often not the problem but the parents.

GOod Luck

Wismom

Answer 5

I find that if you make a big deal out of it, the kids make a bid deal out of it.  If you dismiss it, then the kids don't think twice about it.

It would not be the first time Hank and Brook saw underwear, but its the first time the babysitter went rushing to "poor" Cameron's aide.

Don't make mountains out of mole hills.

Answer 6

I agree that this is only an issue if the adults make it a big issue. I would probably have told Cameron "Hey cool race cars!" It would also be a good idea to stay outside and play with the children yourself. They will follow your lead on kindness and good manners, and you would also have a chance to gently draw Cameron out of his shell.

Answer 7

i thought it was the cool thing to do with teen's nowadays they run around with pants that are falling down over there hips and there underwear showing like gangsta style.

Answer 8

I would have told hank and brook that if they werent nice, they would have to play inside.

i then would have asked the mother why its my fault when she is the one that bought her kid the wrong size pants? xx

Answer 9

Leave it alone.  ALL kids get teased at some point in their growing up.  You're the one trying to make more of an issue than it is.

Answer 10

I have boys ages five and six.  The only reason it was a big deal is because somebody made it a big deal.  The mother over reacted when she said you should have picked a different game.  Its her fault that she did not have the proper size on him to begin with.  Its unfortunate that you prolly won't be asked to sit again. BTW kids will always find something to make fun of that is just how they are.  If it wasn't the underwear it would be something else.

Answer 11

Why is it an issue? It is only an issue if the parents, babysitters, family and friends make it a big deal. Reassure all the kids that it doesn't matter if they show as long as he is wearing them. That everyone even adults have to wear underwear. Then it may not become such a big deal and the other kids won't bully anyone about it again either. Yes he does need a belt, tell the parents, it is part of your job.

Answer 12

i would have gotten a pair of hanks pants or one of hanks belts so his pants wouldnt fall down anymore

Answer 13

I would have told the two "teasers" that they could just hush up and that there would no more teasing or laughing at someone else's misery.