How do you handle being an "orphan" or losing your parents prematurely?

Question

Do you feel it effects your relationships...do you look for substitute role models?

How long do you think you grieve?

Answer 1

It made me insecure, i remember standing by my father's funeral pyre, knowing that the protection i'd had all my life had been snatched from me, i was 13 then, no man ever came to console me, ask me how i was, nobody cared, i was all alone in this world, no idea what to do, all my fears were increasing inside me, nothing to quench them, had nobody to talk to, was so scared that i wasnt able to cry, fearing that a tear in my eye would be seen by the world and, knowing by this that i was weak, someone would try to harm me or my little sister,

My life had stood on a strong foundation until then, a foundation that my father held.

Soon, as years passed by and i had no-one to guide me, confusion reined in my mind.

I'm 23 now, still dont trust no-one, and never will.

I like to be alone now, as much as i can.

Answer 2

I feel that this affects everything in your life.  I lost my mother at 2 and my father to prison at 6 and I felt like trash beingmoved around from foster homes, group homes, youth shelters.  I am 30 now and still not over it completely, and yes I feel that u look for substitute role models.

Answer 3

It is lonely. I think you can either go one of two ways. You can either feel angry and become hardened like you do not need love, or the opposite, like me. I looked for love and support in the wrong people and fell into relationships where I was so accepting of abuse to myself as I thought I needed somebody who claimed to love me. I was quite a sad lonely girl when growing up. I was desperate for love but too scared to attach in case I was abandoned or lost that person. I am over this now I am 30 and have a great base in my life. I have a partner, career,home and my two dogs whom I love like children. this stuff helps